31/M, 64" black guy living in Toronto. Dating Apps are unusable for me and I need to know where to start

SonyHDSmartTV · 2025-09-06T16:42:25+00:00

How you managed to get yourself banned on dating apps? A couple of my friends sent some pretty fucked up messages on Tinder and my account is still going strong - you must have been bad

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-09-06T16:52:31+00:00

You cold approach her in public space in real life because you want to approach her and won't apologize for approaching. You don't approach because you suspect she wants you to. In other words, you don't need to read her mind to do what you want.

You approach her to invite her to get to know each other and her job is to either accept you or reject you your invitation. It's not her job to tell you whether you should even invite her in the first place. Her only job is to accept or reject your invitation, hence you approach her to invite her even if she is not giving you any sign at all.

If she accepts the invitation cool, if not also cool. You did nothing wrong by inviting her, and you respected gracefully any answer she gives you either way. That's what asking for consent is. You don't assume she wants to be answering your questions right away, instead the first thing you tell her is:

"Hey lady excuse me one thing real quick, i just thought you are really cute, and i just came here to see if we vibe and get to know youif not that's cool, I just had to be honest and try because i know i would regret it if i did not try".

That's what a real man does, that's what being authentic is, that's what being honest with what your heart wants is, because you are simply following your heart when you approach who you want.

So it's not about looking for signals, it's about having balls to approach her without signals simply because you want to follow your heart.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-09-06T17:05:40+00:00

Get back out there and talk to people. Just go in with lower expectations and focus on the experience, not the results.

AlastairXXL · 2025-09-06T18:06:07+00:00

64" ouch

mllewisyolo · 2025-09-06T18:34:04+00:00

If you’re in the city, women not looking at you necessarily isn’t a bad thing.

Women have their guard up in public if they make contact with every dude they will get overwhelmed.

A lot of girls they pretend to be on the phone then …you’ll look at it and they’re just like playing with the volume

Also, yeah, I got rid of those dating apps. They fuck your perception of the world up.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-09-06T17:16:27+00:00

Focus on cold approach. Are you trying night game at bars/clubs?

vtribal · 2025-09-06T21:12:49+00:00

what does your social life look like? do you have friends?

liftingnstuff · 2025-09-06T23:20:37+00:00

Try different venues. Especially as a black guy.

You don't need IOIs to approach. It increases your success % but don't only approach women giving you IOIs.

Lose the blackpill attitude. It's bleeding into your vibe and confidence and is a self fulfilling prophecy.

Change your style. Even if you don't think you're facially attractive your height and race will be alluring for some women. Find a look that accentuates your best features and personality.

Stop caring if you get rejected/blank reactions on an approach. Say "have a good night" and move on to the next

Lookup how to make new accounts after getting banned on dating apps. There are ways around the system

Traditional_Guava639 · 2025-09-06T19:25:45+00:00

Yea i got banned from tinder and hinge and I never knew why. Never sent pics or creepy messages or anything. I think women get mad and falsely report men often. I was able to get back in hinge but still banned from tinder which is stupid. Like you said, some people send some wild stuff on there and not banned. Idk. I rarely meet any women irl these days which used to work. Sucks man

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