Do we really have any control over if they message us after we get socials?

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-09-13T18:21:34+00:00

The point of nightgame is to kiss and hookup that same night. Not to get numbers or date in the future.

Women don't often go to a nightclub thinking "i hope i can find my next boyfriend here in a venue or get a date". They go there to have fun and do sponatenous things without caring about the future.

So if a woman is enjoying yourself with you in that moment, then that moment is the only thing that matters and you need to strike all the way when the iron is hot.

A woman being interested means she is interested in that specific moment, not a moment later , let alone a day later or few days later.

If you spend hours with a woman dancing then spend less hours and take her home. Or spend the same amount of hours and take her home. The point is just take her home.

And if you can't because she is busy, she is with ehr friends, or whatever obstacle then you might as well forget it because even if in that moment she tells you "please yes just take my number text me, we can meet some otehr time", that's something she means only in that moment and most likely will not follow through the day after when she the moment is gone.

This is the mistake men make they thing a woman being interested means she is interested permanently and no, it depends on how she feels in each particular moment and with girls that feeling evaporates super fast.

That's why they can be all over you in the nightclub and then ignore you completely when you text her as if they don't even remember you at all.

So don't go for numbers, or dates, go for same day lays. Close the deal that night or you won't get anywhere with them the next days more often than not.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-09-13T18:39:02+00:00

Nightlife contacts are the flakiest. Women usually don't want to go on a date with a dude she met at night because you're a "party guy" in her eyes.

If you're meeting women at night - I suggest you go for an instant date or sex. Not socials.

jpw0w · 2025-09-13T17:19:10+00:00

Completely normal. its a numbers game

Kundalini_electric · 2025-09-13T18:46:16+00:00

Yeah that's normal. Women live in the moment so take it for what it was, a fun moment. Don't take it personally, it's just how Women are.

It's like my friend, one day we have sex and have a great time, then in a couple of days when i see her again she's moody and irritable cause of her hormones.

burncushlikewood · 2025-09-14T00:32:21+00:00

Absolutely it's called ghosting, and no you don't have control, all you can do is build rapport and comfort, but people have the freedom to make their own choices

ArjunVermaReddit · 2025-09-15T11:04:54+00:00

Its all about investment. The longer you interact, and depending on the quality of it, the more likely she will respond. Not in a group or anything but more one on one.
You can also get numbers/ig in brief interactions, sometimes theyre busy with their friends. But it usually doesnt work. In which case your best bet is to hope to run into them again and build it off from there. Dont let the rejection phase you

Affectionate_Boss657 · 2025-09-13T20:06:47+00:00

I keep messaging after our first date it's been week and some funny reactions from her but not that much showing interest on texts how often do I need to text and what to text and how often do I need to meet her .how to control my self

hunterpua · 2025-09-14T15:49:40+00:00

Do we really have any control over if they message us after we get socials?

We do. Everything from how you're interacting when you meet her to what's in your social media profile to when you send your message to what's in the message you send affects her willingness to respond to you.

The biggest factor is what you did when you met.

Focusing on sexual tension really isn't great for making a woman want to respond to you.

The way men are wired is like if a woman was ovulating everyday, and we can get horny at the drop of a dime. Its also harder for most men to get sex than women.

So when thinking about it from your perspective it would make sense that the more sexual tension you develop, the more you'd wanna respond to her.

But when you combine how much farther she can be from a sexual state than you when just doing everyday things, how much longer it takes for her to get turned on, and how less novel sex is for her than you, the appeal to respond to some dude that she only had sexual tension with isn't all that great.

Even if you were the only guy she had that much sexual chemistry with at the club, you were definitely not the only guy she had that much sexual chemistry with that week.

Things would have worked out much better for you if you had just fucked her that night while her arousal was already built up rather than getting her number and hitting her up the next day when her arousal is close to zero.

All of this is not to say you shouldn't build sexual tension at all, you should, that's still important, but that shouldn't be the end that you're trying to achieve, rather that can be the means to get to a different end.

And that end is connection. Get her opening up to you as much as possible, get her bringing you into her world as much as possible, while splicing that with sexual chemistry, so that when she sees your message she doesn't think of you as a random guy she had great chemistry with, your name will actually be memorable to her and she'll immediately get feelings when she sees it pop up on her notifications and she'll actually remember the moments you had together, not just the talking ones, also the sexy ones, because you're less of a fun blur to her and more of a real person.

And unless you actually intend on fucking her that night, you don't really need to dance the night away.

Heck, past a certain point, just dancing and dancing is waste of time even if you wanna fuck her that night.

Things have to escalate. Continuing to dance when it's already been established that she's comfortable doing that with you just makes things stagnant.

And if you don't want to or you don't think you can pull her that night, you need to shift from dancing to getting to know each other.

Just having a blast on the dancefloor for 5-10 minutes and talking for an hour makes the connection much more solid than the other way around.

What if she was too intoxicated? Well then you should be viewing the pull as your only option that evening, and if you don't manage to do that, don't bother texting her, just move on. Maybe try daygame if you don't like how fast pace night game is. One isn't better than the other, it just depends on what plays to your strengths and preferences better.

liftingnstuff · 2025-09-14T04:04:57+00:00

Soft close a date before getting socials. Have a good profile. First message should include a callback to some emotional high point in your conversation. But yes a large % of your contacts will not result in another meetup. Which is why you should be trying to pull same night as much as possible

Title	Do we really have any control over if they message us after we get socials?
Author	Healthy-Two217
Upvotes	30
Comments	20
Date	September 13, 2025 5:03 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ng2r1a/do_we_really_have_any_control_over_if_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-we-really-have-any-control-over-if-they-message.1561898 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561898

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