Men who get one-night stands, how do you do it?

seduction-ModTeam · 2025-10-13T23:24:09+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

GO_Zark · 2025-10-12T23:44:00+00:00

Hottest thing you can do is live your life and get back on the mission.

For public: Yes, go out with your friends whether that's to concerts and clubs or house parties and bonfires. Say yes to more things, show up to have a good time, talk to more people, become the dude with great energy that people love to see.

This is especially important if you don't necessarily have friends that like going out. Find a few friends who do - take this post-breakup time to develop that friend segment. Having a crew that will pick you up and take you out somewhere when you're in a funk and maybe introduce you to new people / get you laid is a really underrated thing that should be a priority for way more men. Apps and social media in general are fine in moderation (but a cancer on your social life if used too much).

Having a fun crew, decent hygiene, at least better-than-average social skills, and a willingness to shoot your shot is going to be the path to success for most guys. Also, once you get back out there, know what you're doing in bed and make it your mission that your partner cums first, 1-2x, before you do. Obviously that's not always possible but that's the mindset going in. Lots of women will come back over and over and over if you give them just one toe-curler that's better than what they can usually achieve on their own. The number of women in my friend group who complain about men either being uninterested or incapable of getting them off is insane. It doesn't take much effort and attention to be top 5% or even top 1% here so make sure you know the basics of what women like and then pay attention to how her body reacts to what you do. Easy win

I personally strike out way more than I succeed and it's like that for most of my squad too, but as long as you're (1) cool and (2) not uncool in both the attempt and also in either success or rejection, women will respect you more for it. I've gotten several women on round 2 or 3 after they get to know me a bit more in the social circle and then "oh I'm just so horny tonight and don't fall in love ok?"

For private: handle your shit, control what you can control. Get a new haircut, try new colognes, pick up a hobby you've always been meaning to try (swing dancing is a perennially popular skill with lots of women/follow roles and never enough men/lead roles in most classes), hit the gym, do the therapy if you need it depending on how bad that breakup was, eat healthy, drink more water, sleep more, level up at work / school / your career etc.

newnameenoch · 2025-10-12T23:37:25+00:00

It’s a numbers game is the short answer

triabetus · 2025-10-12T23:18:50+00:00

Nothing better than meeting someone irl through friends, at a party, etc. The times I’ve been luckiest with women are the times I had 0 expectations for meeting anyone. Just show up, have a good time, enjoy the night, be curious about everyone. You’ll exude comfort, looseness and confidence and people will want to be around you. Just look out for cues like extended eye contact and repeated arm touching, treat it like it’s just banter (otherwise you’ll get nervous) and let luck do the rest.

Edit: tl;dr, what someone below said — the point is stop trying to pull and just enjoy yourself and the company of others, but be receptive to cues.

Charge36 · 2025-10-12T23:48:04+00:00

You can't really count on finding a one night stand. Many of them are a combination of being in the right place at the right time with a little bit of flirting skills.

Bars and clubs are probably your best bet.

SuddenAlfalfa6049 · 2025-10-12T23:26:51+00:00

There’s no proven formula every woman is different and there so many different variables. Show up and present your best self and let the women do the work. Been blessed a few times by beautiful women if I dropped my standards I could get more but it’s not worth the STD risk.

kornhell · 2025-10-13T01:47:53+00:00

Step 0: You don't want ONS, because if they only want to have sex for one night and not more, it means, you weren't good.

Step 1: Don't compare yourself to the ONS-success of other men.

Step 2: Do something for your health, eat well, go to the gym.

Step 3: Buy clothes with a women whose opinion you trust. If something feels unnatural to you, try it.

Step 4: Go out with friends and have fun.

Step 5: Expand your social circle by being more talkative.

Step 6: Talk to women without appearing needy, clingy and tense and sprinkle in some compliments and light hearted sexual innuendo.

Step 7: Talk to even more women.

Step 8: Find more women. Go talk to them.

Step 9: Did you ever think of touching the women's arms, hands, hair etc. while talking to them? No??? Repeat Step 6 doing so.

Step 10: They don't leave your side, feel good around you and want to meet you. Now kiss them already if they haven't kissed you yet. The cheek is a good start, if you are afraid. Work your way to their mouth.

Step 11: They are still around? Don't tell them that you love them. Just enjoy the sex.

Step 12: Talk to more women. Don't chase the ones who are not into you.

astrothunderp · 2025-10-12T23:43:47+00:00

Really depends on the environment you’re in and the type of girl you meet. Your best chance for a ONS is going out to a club or bar and meeting a chick there. Don’t come in desperate to fuck because it won’t go that way. Trust me, the moment I stopped doing that is the moment I started having more ONS. It comes naturally when you are present, enjoying yourself and are able to converse with no agenda. Women can sense that. Hell, sometimes you can see the look in their eyes that they want to fuck you. Read cues well. Escalate slowly and consensually. Eye contact - banter - flirt - touching - kissing. Then you can go from there. It’s not a fail-proof formula, but it’s the one that can get you the most success if you play it right. Remember, you won’t get laid every time you meet a chick. Sometimes, it’ll just end with ya making out in the bar/club or you might just have a good conversation. Have good intentions regardless and you’ll be able to enjoy yourself

becomesharp · 2025-10-13T00:07:15+00:00

Even at the pro level, same night stuff is mostly about finding the girl who is down and has good logistics.

Of course, you still have to have the skill to not fuck it up, but assuming you have baseline skill, its mostly about filtering.

That said, I dont ever advise guys to start trying to go for ONS if they cant reliably get dates. That's like working on a 3 point fadeaway shot when you cant shoot a free throw. You're wasting your time on fancy shit when your fundamentals arent there.

TerminatorReborn · 2025-10-13T02:27:47+00:00

Anyone that says they have a system to always get one night stands is lying, it's mostly luck, but of course you need to help your odds.

We are talking about a human being on the other side. A woman will know when she goes out if she is down to have a one night stand, the more she wants it the higher your chances of getting lucky.

Sure she can make a crazy decision on the moment but most of the time she will know it is a possibility when she goes out. If she isn't down to have one or never does it forget about it, no matter how much seducing you do you wont convince her. "Oh but the girl I bagged last week said she never does one night stands" you fell for the oldest lie in the book brother

videogames_ · 2025-10-13T03:21:42+00:00

Find the girls that like your look. Listen to them talk about stuff and flirt with them. Have drinks. Invite her to your place to see your pet, watch a show, have coffee, have more drinks, to see your art, to check out your dj set, anything. Then make moves.

Capt1an_Cl0ck · 2025-10-12T23:35:58+00:00

Yea just go out a meet people. I used bumble to match and at least get out of the house. I had been in a 20 year relationship and my game even though rusty seemed pretty strong in the current market. I would offer to meet for food, mini golf, bowling, escape room, whatever. Offer to get food and drink after (if we did an activity), often times they would be open to second meet up movie or come back to my place. I was 4-4 in hookups after divorce. One was a 2 and done. One was 12 and done. One was 8 and we kept in touch after. Currently the fourth has been a FWB/ situationship for a couple years.

jackthehat6 · 2025-10-13T12:44:00+00:00

Nearly all of my lays have been same night lays in from bars.

I can't be bothered to write a long post, and tbh its not even needed.

/u/newnameenoch already said it. It's a numbers game. You can't 'game' your way into her pants if you're not her type. So you need to open girls. Get good at reading whether she's actually interested/attracted (should be obvious but some people need practice to pick up on the signals). Keep it fun. Ask questions. flirt. Ramp up the touch. Isolate. kiss. Pull away sometimes to keep her wanting more. Suggest going to your place like it's not a big deal at all. Say it like you're suggesting going outside to the beer garden

Lenovo_Driver · 2025-10-13T09:40:27+00:00

For me, location is the biggest factor for a ONS

Knowing you have a good place you can bring someone back to changes how you will approach the night.

However, if they’re really into you, they’ll take you back to theirs or do shit in public.

You can’t really control the latter, you can control - as you can meet one rando one night and do it all, and do exactly what you did , every night for a week after and not get that replicated with any other randos.

You can control the former, though. Once the music stops and the lights come on, what now is the question being asked. Taking them to a cool afters spot that you’re familiarized (and is close to your place) with is a good option, spend a short amount of time there then the next step is back to your place.

genericriffs · 2025-10-13T13:53:54+00:00

Have a good mixed male/female squad, be good at talking to people, dress well, talk to smutty looking girls. Point 1 is crucial and was an X factor for me: women trust and like men that hang out with women. Also important: have 0 expectations and go out to have fun

topher_atx · 2025-10-13T04:26:38+00:00

I personally do not like one night stands, but in the past they have come my way when that's what the woman is looking for. Maybe they're on vacation, looking to rebound after a breakup, cheat on their partner, or maybe they're high, all sorts of reasons.

However, I think women typically aren't seeking that, but anecdotally I know they do sometimes.

I don't really condone this, but lowering your standards and going on dates with women from dating apps that you would never consider actually having a relationship with is the easiest way to find this. Or perhaps doing the same thing in a nightlife environment might work.

Shoot, sometimes someone you're very into wants that. But again, I don't think thats a good goal. You'll likely end up hurting someone, or it could end up really bad like with YouTuber Jack Denmo. He sweet talked and tricked a woman into sleeping with him, disrespected her once things got physical, and ended up a convicted sex offender. Had Jack Denmo just behaved like a decent person and treated the women he was pursuing with respect and not like a prey animal, none of this would have happened to him.

Sandvicheater · 2025-10-13T01:01:10+00:00

Lowering your standards increases your odds of getting one night stand tail just saying. Dudes who wait, approach and get rejected constantly by 8,9,10s wait all year until they get lucky with a single 8 and then repeat another long cycle. Guys who strike out with 8-10s who go for back up average or above average 5-7 can get consistent pussy.

IGotUrBrain · 2025-10-12T23:19:10+00:00

Went to a club. met a curvy milf, talked, laughed and flirted with each other then she took me back to her place her ass was round, fat and unbelievable lol

Back2theCouture · 2025-10-12T23:58:13+00:00

Social gatherings like parties and clubs. Can count them with my fingers. But tbf luck plays a part in my experience as there’s no consistent results.

puma085 · 2025-10-13T06:17:30+00:00

There are many ways. I was never lucky getting one active but the only 5 lays I had in my live fond me. was just putting myelf outthere in enviroments where alcohol was consumed. Sometimes that being just there led to some drunk sex. So maybe just being there were many women are and just having fun without focusing too much on women might help.

BeardOfZeus367 · 2025-10-13T11:43:28+00:00

Stopped trying for one night stands…

No-Dot-7661 · 2025-10-13T13:47:31+00:00

In my opinion, one night stands are not going to help you. Sure, they feel good in the moment but when she leaves and that post-nut clarity kicks in, you will still feel like shit.

Just talk to a bunch of women and go on a lot of dates. Building a connection with a new woman will help you get over your ex better than fucking random sluts.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-10-12T23:39:56+00:00

My hookup fad years were like ages 18-21 during undergrad college. It was pretty easy as we all lived on campus and had ample free time. But I started to realize that meaningless sex just wasn't for me without the emotional bond of a pending or ongoing relationship. I personally wouldn't hook up just to get over a break up, but you do you.

Admirable_Image_8759 · 2025-10-13T00:21:28+00:00

The dating apps are rife with ONS but they’ll tell you otherwise because ladies don’t want to come off like that. Some are straight up but most aren’t

JazzleRazzle · 2025-10-13T05:04:59+00:00

Only go for women who show a clear interest in you. Prolonged eye contact, genuine smile, etc. After that, it’s social skills, leading and logistics.

Anywhere-Solid · 2025-10-13T00:58:14+00:00

You go to IKEA, buy one of their nightstands and put it together in one shot and then you’re good to go

Kylearean · 2025-10-12T23:45:55+00:00

I generally could only afford one night stand at a time. Didn't get two until marriage.

Landon1m · 2025-10-13T03:03:02+00:00

Be fun and someone girls want to hang around with. Confidence is also super important. Fake it if ya don’t think you have it.

jackcallmemaybe · 2025-10-13T06:45:07+00:00

Bars and dating apps. At the end of the day, it's all about the numbers. Some nights, nothing happens. Other nights, you get lucky. Just relax, talk to people like they're people, and don't expect too much.

Mindless-Goal-5340 · 2025-10-13T07:46:33+00:00

You need to be really good at qualifying, escalating and closing quickly. Most guys are going to try it with girls who aren't interested enough, or they will not escalate when they have the opportunity and instead talk her out of being interested.

PhantomMangaka · 2025-10-13T21:13:35+00:00

was at this bar last week. friend started explaining his crypto portfolio to this girl for 20 minutes straight. she literally walked away mid sentence. sometimes the problem isnt the approach

Darkalchemist999 · 2025-10-13T21:49:28+00:00

Have you tried being attractive?

raider1995 · 2025-10-13T21:50:16+00:00

Dating apps. You would be surprised how many females are up for it. As long as youre a decent looking dude who's not a square and straight forward with what u want. You'll get a lot of females who will say nah but its true it is a numbers game.

Necessary-Worry1923 · 2025-10-12T23:43:42+00:00

Get a passport?

Ok_Investigator7568 · 2025-10-13T06:48:27+00:00

I recently found a way to get women to open up after even a friendly interaction in any environment. Frame questions in a way that gives them power, but makes them feel they aren’t making the first move. I say ‘but im not sure if you’re attracted to me’ and they seem to always reply ‘I am’, so I just ask them to go back together

jjjjjjamesbaxter · 2025-10-13T01:49:40+00:00

Embrace your desire then escalate hers.

DoritoPopeGodsend · 2025-10-13T02:33:21+00:00

They're overrated and lose their luster quickly anyways. Use that effort instead on finding someone worth being and staying with 👍

jpw0w · 2025-10-13T03:47:04+00:00

You have to be social and somewhat attractive

Chase_bank · 2025-10-13T04:23:01+00:00

Go to a bar. Talk to a girl. Flirt. Ask her if she wants to get outta here? Repeat.

TheThingsiLearned · 2025-10-13T06:48:26+00:00

Out of town/country conferences. Chances of seeing them again are low and both parties like to keep it that way. This one Norwegian girl was all over many years back at a conference during school. She was very upfront about wanting American ass for funnisies only.

HelloooMorning · 2025-10-13T07:03:27+00:00

It’s not really for me to say, but to be honest, even if you get it, it won’t fill that void. It might, temporarily — maybe for a year or two, if it turns into a relationship, but after that, you are back to square one.

The only real way to fill it is by spending time on yourself and surrounding yourself with good company.

But if you still want to go that route, then the club or bar will do the job — as long as you bring some good energy.

Status_Chemical9036 · 2025-10-13T08:38:40+00:00

Fat chicks

Top_Music_6912 · 2025-10-13T01:05:45+00:00

Do you live in or near a huge Metropolitan area? If so you have a plethora of venues you can choose to start your mission.

Pull up to a lounge/Bar (No clubs) Soft approach woman that are ALONE .(I cant stress the alone part enough)
Im assuming you have some sort of game Just not SNL(same night lay) level yet?

The ones that are feeling you for another time will definitely exchange info with you. But we’re looking for a ONS/SNL right?

So the key here is to invite them to another lounge/bar with you. If rapport is high and the comfort is there she’ll for sure bounce with you. This is my ‘Go To’ indicator that she’s more than likely down. The Venue switch. If they leave with you to another spot then you’re solid. Dont get too drunk and don’t overshare

Escalate

alifteronreddit · 2025-10-13T01:36:51+00:00

Open a pair at a club and figure out which one is into you. Initiate close/dirty dancing within five minutes. If you’re not making out with her 10-15 mins later keep it moving to the next set.

Heffersonn · 2025-10-13T01:34:05+00:00

Get drunk and hook up with someone equally as drunk lol

Mission-Fly-4371 · 2025-10-13T03:01:24+00:00

Be straight forward 🫵

nzproduce · 2025-10-13T11:47:01+00:00

Alot of admin

rockstaa · 2025-10-13T16:17:46+00:00

Business trips. It turns out people on business trips are horny af. Business conventions, consulting, etc. A lot of conventions have a social hour that is for ‘networking’ but also to find people to sleep with. You get a lot of sliding into DMs through LinkedIn lol. People get lonely on trips or long assignments away from home. Sometimes it’s harmless and they just want to eat and talk with someone, but the opportunities to escalate are there.

ImpossibleBritches · 2025-10-13T01:05:35+00:00

Read the wiki.

divacup42069 · 2025-10-13T01:49:03+00:00

tbh i ussualty just don'tw were junderware and like let it HANGGG and whoever i cathc peepingge my peen i ask if they woul'dt like to have coitus

Sent from my iPad

Title	Men who get one-night stands, how do you do it?
Author	Healthy-Two217
Upvotes	264
Comments	99
Date	October 12, 2025 11:10 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1o53pl1/men_who_get_onenight_stands_how_do_you_do_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/men-who-get-one-night-stands-how-do-you-do-it.1563976 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563976

Comments