Got bullied, was too timid and nervous about the consequences to fight back

xNightly · 2018-10-10T14:41:09+00:00

I was bullied in the first few years of Junior High School. Reporting it to the teachers did nothing and that only made things worse as I was building a reputation of being a snitch. One day, I was feeling agitated in school and the last thing I needed was the main bully to piss me off even more. He came up to me and pushed me and to his surprise, I punched him with full force to his nose, causing him to bleed. It's safe to say the bullying stopped from that day on and I became respected.

Violence is the answer. Don't let them pick on you infront of everyone, fight back.

Qazreddit99 · 2018-10-10T14:16:00+00:00

If you are being physically hit then you are within your right to hit back. If they throw something at you, throw something back.

Olram_Sacul · 2018-10-10T14:00:15+00:00

Violence is the solution. Don't be scared, always fight back and always fight dirty. You may loose, but you already lost, right? At least show that you are not afraid to fight.

destructionFoxtrp · 2018-10-10T14:58:37+00:00

Short answer - Lift. Long answer - Liftttt And if you can, take a martial arts class. I'd recommend MMA or Taekwondo. All ways fight back.

bigkids · 2018-10-10T15:17:39+00:00

Rule 1: Avoid the fight at all costs.

Rule 2: If physically attacked, defend yourself.

Rule 3: If verbally attacked, follow the Three T-steps (talk, tell, tackle).

Rule 4: Never punch or kick the bully, establish control and negotiate.

Rule 5: When applying submissions use minimal force and negotiate.

As per http://www.gracieacademy.com/bully_proof.asp

2000inchbiceps · 2018-10-10T14:23:09+00:00

If they start the physical assault, you are allowed to protect yourself. You were probably timid because you were not confident in your ability to protect yourself. If you don't know how to protect yourself and find yourself being the target of physical harassment often, then I'd look for some self defense classes and start lifting weights. I'd recommend krav maga.

Joeboard · 2018-10-10T14:58:50+00:00

Im not one to advocate violence.. but some lines were crossed here forsure. Was it a glass bottle? If so, im running at whoever threw it and immediately punching them in the teeth.

However, this has consequences. Assualt charges, school suspension, getting your ass kicked, etc.

However, even if consequences happen (including getting your ass kicked) your respect will go up.

So its a balance. Revenge isnt the answer here, let this incident go however if a similar situation pops up, you NEED to stand up for yourself. Sometimes pride / respect is worth getting smacked in the face a few times.

I suspect your young, probably in hs.. People will test you your entire life, it slows down forsure after hs, but it never goes away.

Freedom__Fighter · 2018-10-10T15:58:31+00:00

Join a local martial arts gym that has good reviews. Not only will this teach you how to defend yourself, you will also become more confident, become even more respectful then you may already be and you'll be WAY more in tune with your body/surroundings. Also continue to lift, or start if you haven't yet. You are going to need to defend yourself in life and catching that bully right in the jaw might be the only solution the next time he punches you. Learning how to kick properly is going to go a long way and also learning how to grapple is really important because this is where most fights end up and you want to end up on top. Best of luck bud and don't let people disrespect you. You'd rather get a suspension then walk around looking beat up having not tried to even defend yourself.

buddahbusted · 2018-10-10T16:14:02+00:00

Make it your mission in life to learn a martial art.

Recognize that this is a social behavior created by the community you live in. The bully is just the personification of the culture. It is a message that the weak are punished and the strong rewarded. The immediate answer is to develop your strength and demonstrate it. Hitting back is a demonstration.

But recognize as well that there are some valuable lessons in being timid. Over a few beers in a small remote town, I learned that one of the problems for the town is that the boys grow up learning that you always accept a fight. However when they go to the big city, they are so ego invested in maintaining that militant frame, that they never know when to back down and enough had been shot by stepping up to the wrong dude that he mentioned this as a social phenomenon of his generation.

So develop the skills needed to not be bullied, but don’t join the bullies because that is a different kind of weakness. The art of diplomacy carries with it the ability to reveal your own insecurities, which by being real with yourself instead of puffing up that ego, can gain real respect from men. This doesn’t mean wallowing in insecurity. But sometimes to survive you have to know when to put your head down. It doesn’t make you an inherently weak man, it means you need work, and once you put in that work you are mentally stronger for the experience.

These guys that grew up never even considering the option of backing down got gunned down in the street by trying to hit back when it isn’t always necessary.

The bottom line is that even a strength can be turned into a weakness.

There are regional differences, but kids live in anlord of the flies world and you do whatever you need to do.

chazthundergut · 2018-10-10T20:54:54+00:00

Go down swinging.

The moment someone throws a bottle at you, throw a book back at them. If someone punches you knock them out.

Avoid confrontation but the moment someone crosses your boundary you need to check them.

JakarrSlamson · 2018-10-10T16:21:14+00:00

First off, lift to make yourself look more threatening. What i do if some drunk prick is trying to pick a fight with me or something is just laugh it off and start recording.

philbignig · 2018-10-10T17:24:33+00:00

just do something realllyyyyyy crazy and people will stop messing with you hahaha

Batmanforreal2 · 2018-10-10T18:03:01+00:00

Avoid fighting. But when cornered go full on at the biggest guy, dont hold back, full on

[deleted] · 2018-10-10T18:25:39+00:00

My friend was the center lineman on our HS football team. He was a freshman when this happened.

Our local HS psycho thug had the same gym class as him. He tried to come over to my friend in gym and make him his bitch ("that's my spot, give me that ball, etc."). Friend immediately told him no and this pissed him off as his power was fading.

So at lunch my friend goes to the bathroom by his self because he's a man, not a chick, and pyscho and two of his friends follow him in. They try jumping him, but my friend being a football center lineman wrecks their shit and the fight ends up in the hallway. Another football player comes to break it up (which I thought was weak because being being his teammate I thought he would've joined in and helped), and then the dean comes.

All four of them get suspended despite our grade's dean arguing for my friend and their being footage of it being a 3 on 1 fight and them following him into the bathroom/instigating it. Zero tolerance is gay AF. Friend can't come to school or practice because he stood up for himself, but if he let himself get beat up then they wouldn't have suspended him.

So he got suspended, but became a fucking legend for standing up for himself the way he did, everyone respected him, and I don't think he was bullied for the rest of HS. Sometimes the rules are set up against us, but the consequences are worth it. Don't initiate the fight, but once it's on fight back.

Edit: You can't change what happened, but you can take action going forward. People will remember (as long as you're in the same class at least) what happened, but you can stand up for yourself going forward and overshadow the bad memories with the good ones of you standing up for yourself. Even if you don't win or get beat up you still have your pride and respect because you didn't give in and others, even the bullies will notice that. Lift and take martial arts (BJJ and boxing are prime) so that you can confidently defend yourself going forward.

DubbleFUPAwitCheez · 2018-10-10T21:21:56+00:00

Here's some advice I don't see written here yet that's actually useful. If you do end up in a situation where it looks like you're going to fight multiple people at a time. Hit the first guy as hard as you fucking can and try to take him out immediately. It evens the battlefield a bit more and most importantly will make some of them think twice about whether they want to fight.

friendandadvisor · 2018-10-11T02:57:55+00:00

If reporting a physical attack to the teachers doesn't get results, call the police and ask them what to do.

If somebody throws a bottle at you, or attacks you, and you call the cops, and they come to the school, it will definitely get the teachers' attention, and the administration's as well. They don't want cops there.

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2018-10-10T15:20:39+00:00

Fight back. Even if you lose they know picking on you will cause pain and they won’t do it again.

backdoorinvestor · 2018-10-10T15:38:27+00:00

Chances are they’ll respect you more if you fight back. I’d pick out the one person that is influencing it on others. Strike the Shepard and the sheep will scatter.

[deleted] · 2018-10-10T15:49:15+00:00

Learn some martial arts. You don't have to get into fights (some disagree in the comments), but it will make you more confident anyway.

Unlucky_Leader · 2018-10-10T16:00:30+00:00

good. you're going to become more aware of the environments you are in.

be aware of where you are, and who you are with.

and as others have said. get in the gym. people don't fight people with big arms. and two learn a martial art.

arrau98 · 2018-10-10T16:04:35+00:00

Fight them

Even if you lose. Hell, it's better in the long run if you lose. It'll toughen you up - I wish I had gotten in more fights

TheNotoriousKing · 2018-10-10T16:13:18+00:00

don’t let em affect your frame with words, but if they throw a bottle you throw one right back or punch em right there, even if you lose the fight no one likes to get punched and they’ll stop

pyth0ns · 2018-10-11T19:02:37+00:00

if you don't want to take the fighting route - this will no doubt get you into trouble! But this did stop 'bullies' from fucking with me back when I was in High School.

If they're messing with you in class, stand up - flip the table, grab your chair and throw it into the wall. (Yes this is somewhat of a 'bravado' act, but for some; that is all that's needed)
Immediately follow up with a fighting stance (remember - jaw clenched, head tucking down to cover your throat and your fists up) to show (AND MAKE SURE YOU DO/ARE READY TO DO SO) that you're down to back up your rage! and will kick the shit out of someone who tries you.

If someone is stupid enough to challenge you after that - give them a swift 1-2 combo to their face/nose/chin/whatever you can strike!

As others have pointed out though, you will need to unfortunately be prepared for consequences.

BecomingChad · 2018-10-10T16:15:56+00:00

Don't fucking listen to all those people telling you your bullies will become losers and don't fall into the trap of being cynical towards them. So many become losers that way. You have a lot to learn from them. Look at their confidence, their social skills etc.

The only way to stop a bully is to speak his language and that means violence. There's no way around it.

Work out and stand up for yourself. No one's going to do it for you.

Title	Got bullied, was too timid and nervous about the consequences to fight back
Author	Alchabitius
Upvotes	21
Comments	46
Date	October 10, 2018 1:48 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9mzmbw/got_bullied_was_too_timid_and_nervous_about_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/got-bullied-was-too-timid-and-nervous-about-the.1562 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562

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