As a 21M what are some of the best ways to show women 24-49 that they can take you seriously?

Discopotatoz · 2025-10-13T18:41:35+00:00

Much like all dating, this will vary based on the individual woman but for me the best methods dealing with age gaps (both ways actually) are owning it when she brings it up (most will) and LEADING her.

By owning it I mean, when it inevitably comes up in conversation, acknowledging it but making it very clear it doesn't faze you.. at all. Don't bring it up yourself (this happens a lot with older guys trying to be cute and tease younger girls and it backfires on them) but when faced with this myself I often use something like "I don't really focus on age, it's attitude and connection that matters". She may not be convinced yet (getting to that next), but it will shut down the line of questioning.

The most important part by far is leading her. Older women will absolutely follow your lead if your frame is fun and strong enough and she will love every minute of it. Confidence is the key. It doesn't matter how much wiser, accomplished or richer she is, this is the best way to get past superficial objections like this.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-10-13T17:01:38+00:00

24-49 is a pretty substantial age gap. Even 25+ could be an issue as you have nothing to show for your life experience at 21 other than being a student. It's one of the main reasons at 34 I don't date 21 year old women; they lack financial independence, emotional maturity, have unrealistic views of the world post-college, haven't demonstrated they can be responsible adults on their own, etc.

For dating, it may be an uphill battle each age beyond 24 or so for you as women will want someone who is established, can provide, and has some life experience on his own. I don't really know what to tell you there. But for casual, you may have a better shot by being direct and just cutting to the chase.

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2025-10-13T19:42:18+00:00

The older the harder it will be to get past that.

The thing is, you are 21. So you have yet to fully grow. You might be in your f-boy stage still. You might find things funny that a 25 year old no longer finds funny. I.e. if you think 6'7' is funny, a 25 year old, 30 year old, etc will likely not find that funny and think it's kind of a dumb immature thing that doesnt make sense.

It's not about being at their maturity level, but about being more mature than your peers.

A few things you can do in the meantime is change your appearance. First thing, grow and trim your beard. If you are clean shaven, then they can see how much of a baby face you have. Dress in more adult clothing. It doesnt have to be suits or anything, but buy clothes that show you have some style. I buy shit from the gap. Wear cologne that smells well. Girls like a guy who smells well.

You need to go from "omg you are a baby" to "omg i forget you are 21".

But in the end of the day, older women will never take you seriously. There's always a power dynamic, the older you go the more the dynamic is towards the older person. Im dating someone 5 years older. There's times where she even struggles to accept i could be right because to her "i dont have any experience" even though i have more expereicne in life than her.

Ionic3127 · 2025-10-13T20:16:47+00:00

Best thing you can do is be yourself. Lead your own life, be intentional in focusing on all aspects of your life (Physical Health, Mental Health, Wealth, Social Life & Personality). If you want to be seen as a leader to women, you first have to lead your own life.

Most importantly, don’t let your age define you. Yes some women will make it a point to bring it up (I experience this as a 26 yro male talking to women at bars who are over there) but quietly own up to it. It’s a small test to see if you let labels define you, as leaders don’t.

Just recognize that for some women it may not be their cup of tea, and that’s cool. But we all gotta start out somewhere. Don’t be discouraged by it, continuing bettering yourself and someone will see you for who you are.

Kadabrium · 2025-10-13T20:56:17+00:00

Assume they are 50

great_account · 2025-10-13T21:55:23+00:00

I think when you're young, the main thing you can offer older women is being hot and good in bed. They know they can't rely on you for anything. So the ones who are open to dating you are looking for sex.

yahalom2030 · 2025-10-14T07:14:00+00:00

First, if she is older than 30 the less you care about what she think the better outcome you will get. 29-32 will be the sweet spot for careless hookups. Secondary own what you got. Baby face?! Okish. Just escalate. She will take you seriously after a night of drilling. I have had baby face when I was 18teen and had a lot of fun looking in a fascinated eyes of 28y+ ladies after the night of non-stop rough sex. Dating NOT about look, it's about escalation. It's an ancient instincts and dynamic. You not a provider. Not a pleaser. Not her therapist. You are in a game of breaking her boundaries asap and that's the only thing that 28y+ lady needs from her f-boy no matter what she is saying to society or herself.

Kierenbrowncoach · 2025-10-14T09:04:35+00:00

If you want older women to take you seriously, stop telling them you’re mature and start showing it. Women in their late 20s to 40s have heard every “I’m different” line under the sun. What makes you stand out is your energy, not your explanation.

Don’t defend your age. If she teases you about being young, smirk and say, “That’s fine. You’ll just have to keep up.” That flips the frame. Calm confidence beats defensive logic every time.

Older women aren’t looking for a hype boy, they’re drawn to grounded energy. Speak less, hold eye contact, and move with purpose. Let her feel that you’re in control of yourself and your world. When she sees that your life has direction and self-respect, she’ll stop seeing a baby and start seeing a man worth taking seriously.

AmoebaStill1 · 2025-10-14T19:46:34+00:00

I don't remember why I joined this subreddit. I'm perplexed daily.

Sherman140824 · 2025-10-15T19:44:24+00:00

You just have to go to places were women go when they feel ready for sex. There used to be a bar in my city where gilfs went to pick-up young lads. I bet there is something like that in every city. Otherwise you have to be persistent and sexual.

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