Hey lads,

I have 2 topics I was hoping for insight on. I'll try make it brief and structured. Appreciate the feedback as always.

Background: seperated nearly 5 months, nothing nefarious (no abuse/cheating) but was left feeling abandoned and unloved by the women I loved. I 100% made mistakes in my behaviour, but as a whole, I'm proud of who I am and the loyalty and commitment I showed over the years. We share 1 child. Financial seperation has been ratified and I've come out in a good position. Custody is 5050 and communication, although very sad for me, is amicable.

Concern #1 I have been dealing with a sense of depression and anxiety post seperation. I'm doing all the 'right things' to move through this stage. It's getting there but... I am a shift worker, and when I'm stretched thin or tired, it gets a lot worse. This impacts me as a father, I manage it carefully with generally good success... Except

I accepted work for my mates company to help him out on the side. The idea was I'd hold the fort while he went on holidays in Feb and June. I agreed to this before the seperation.

I recently had a week of work for him, combined with my shift work ...ruined me. I'm ashamed to say, I think I need to bow out. I'm ashamed I will let my friend down, who has just had a baby himself... But I can't do everything and show up for my son.

The thing is, it's only 10 hours/week for like 6weeks... Easy on paper, but it's dominating my mind constantly, I feel dread about it.

Am I being a pu**y, or should I listen to this and bow out?

Concern #2 I feel a sense of loneliness creeping in. I want to one day find a partner, but I also don't want to give up the new life I've created for myself. I've now got a luxury apartment on the beach, 2 bedrooms for me and my boy.

I feel I'll probably settle down with another single parent one day, and I get anxious about letting go of this safe place ive built for myself. I'm not ready for that. I thought maybe I'll try find a more casual relationship, but I've never done that before, I'm unsure if I'll even be comfortable with thet kind of arrangement. Thankfully im youngish 32M, in good shape and from what I can tell, I'm not totally scuffed in terms of my looks :(

What's your thoughts on finding companionship and how it impacts your new identity and safe space? Ive even considered using an escort, it's legal where I live... But there's something that just feels unethical or sad about it.

Thanks for reading the ted talk boys.

If you drop a line. Let me know how your weeks going, where you're at in the world and a little about you. Love hearing from others about their lives :)