How much are you emotionally open again?

Candidate_Worldly · 2026-03-10T17:18:39+00:00

Makes perfect sense, and I'm in a similar frame of mind. I don't think I'll ever trust another woman fully again, after my ex destroyed our family .

My opinion of women and relationships isn't in a good place right now, and I really hope that changes with more time.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-03-07T18:27:18+00:00

Been there mate. You'll find once you rebuild an awesome life for yourself (this will take 3-5 years) you will love yourself and not rely on women for validation. You will know if a romantic relationship ends It will suck for a bit but you will be ok.....no biggie.

It's when you rely on a romantic partner for validation, purpose and identity (an extremely unhealthy and unattractive dynamic) that you fear being betrayed and abandoned and it causes you to have to rebuild from ashes every time.

If you do the work then after a betrayal or breakup you won't be starting at ground zero, you'll be restarting from a great place instead. The healing process is going to be very quick and less painful.

The funny thing with women is if they sense you will be completely fine without them they will be loyal for life. It is only when they feel you are dependent on them that they lose all attraction for you. Rebuild, love yourself, validate yourself and you are golden.

Wally0991 · 2026-03-07T15:56:30+00:00

Shit I haven't opened up to one woman since this started hell my mom sister brother in law and my Sgt. Are the only people that know what im going through im afraid to open up to people and being judged its a very scary thing

UrAristotle · 2026-03-07T14:41:17+00:00

I definitely find it difficult to open up too much about things with the woman I’m seeing now. I find myself wondering when she’ll decide she isn’t happy and just walk away.

I’m not unpleasant and I love my time with her, but I loved my time with my ex-wife. We never fought and have two amazing kids. But after 17 years she decided she’d had enough and wanted to try something else.

Realizing that it all started well before 17 years doesn’t help. When I say there were no signs, there were no signs. Not of that level of unhappiness. A month before she started her affair, she told one of her friends how perfect she thought her life was.

She was lying. I don’t know if it was to herself or her friend just as if I don’t know if it was then or after she started her affair. She was unhappy and she hid it.

So I find myself in this relationship fully aware that it could end at any time. Like my marriage, I won’t end it. I plan to enjoy my time with my new partner for as long as she’s committed to it.

But I’m painfully aware that women build up resentment that they don’t address until they decide to walk away. I won’t put myself in a position to be hurt when that betrayal happens again.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-03-07T13:33:39+00:00

I feel the same way. It hurts. Therapy is slow. I see my kids and get sad bc they deserved better. I’m only in the separation process but it’s a slow and painful process. I hope things turn around for you. I feel I’m getting close to rock bottom and then hope to bounce back

too-far-for-missiles · 2026-03-07T11:48:32+00:00

Therapy, bud. It'll come back when you're ready but therapy can help you figure stuff out and keep that door open.

Got_any_lemonade · 2026-03-07T10:38:32+00:00

Not at all. It will take at least 2 more years to reach that point.

TheConjugalVisit · 2026-03-07T06:34:14+00:00

Starting but the door was shut for months and months. I won't get married again, doesn't mean I won't fall n love again.

dadbuildingcalm · 2026-03-07T06:30:22+00:00

Mate, I feel what you are saying. Its taken me a lot to get back to who I was and what I wanted to be. I was hurt, lied to and cheated on when I never saw it coming. It took me a long time to get into my own skin again, but it will happen. People always say time heals all wounds, and there is light at the end of the tunnel and to be honest there is truth in it. Jump on to calm co-parenting mate as there is lots of usual, helpful information to help guide blokes through this. Always reach out and talk to whoever is my biggest suggestion mate, no shame in talking things out

Title	How much are you emotionally open again?
Author	LifeBeatsHard
Upvotes	10
Comments	14
Date	March 7, 2026 6:10 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rn2bef/how_much_are_you_emotionally_open_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-much-are-you-emotionally-open-again.1574904 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574904

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