How to get a girlfriend?

norwegiandoggo · 2026-03-08T16:51:57+00:00

The easiest way to get a girlfriend for a guy with autism, is to aim to date women with autism.

The research on this so far has found that people with autism are 11 times more likely to end up in a relationship with someone that also has autism. Either way, trying to date neurotypicals is going to be possible if your autism is mild. But if your autism is pronounced, it's nearly impossible to date a neurotypical person. Just being honest and realistic with you.

It will also help to be more upfront about your autism. If they know that your social quirks are due to autism, it's much more likely to be accepted. If they don't know about your autism, your social quirks may just make you seem "weird" and they have no way to label it - which makes it more noticable and negative of an impression.

PostAvailable9966 · 2026-03-08T16:40:36+00:00

I would urge you to distinguish two things. One is getting "just" a girlfriend, the other is getting love life freedom, i.e. using dating and relationships to boost your life in general. These are two different things and are explained in detail here.

Regardless, for "just a girlfriend" variant, focus on 3 things, not Game, not hardcore self improvement:

- New pools of people. Either through meet-ups, hobbies or what have you. As long as you are opening 1 or 2 new pools of people per month you are golden.

- Okay body shape. No reason to be ripped, but less than 20% body fat.

- Some conversational skills. Just so you can hold your own. This is more about learning 1) connect and 2) to showoff your own self. Not magic tricks or juggling balls in the air. The "connect" part is about being able to reply to what the other person is saying and connecting to something relevant (to demystify the concept).

Then you are very highly likely to get a girlfriend within a year. But again, I would urge you to reconsider that goal. No amount of sex can make up for a bad relationship.

Budget-Kick822 · 2026-03-08T19:00:56+00:00

You post the same thing every few weeks. Have you tried taking any of the advice from previous posts?

TotalleeSerious · 2026-03-08T16:38:19+00:00

Online advice won’t do you any good. What may have worked for one man may not necessarily work for you. You gotta make ur own story. You’re doing everything right. You’ve approached and checked out dating apps. Just keep trying and don’t give up!

RedditsAdoptedSon · 2026-03-08T21:28:15+00:00

not sure what you look like so that would tailor my advice a bit. so if not in shape and decent looking start there. focus on glow up type stuff. water with lime n lemon in the morning .. 2 mile jog.. oatmeal weightlifting everyday for a while just to help your body lock in. in your 30s so last decade where this will work well for u

Current-Paramedic-50 · 2026-03-09T00:41:15+00:00

Upskill at cold approaching.

Long8D · 2026-03-09T00:58:18+00:00

Bro autism or not you're 30, self aware enough to know what's not working, and actually asking for help. That's more than most guys do.

Bar and club scene is rough for TONS of people so if you say you're extremely award and weird around people, I would forget that whole world for now honestly. What actually works better for you is just being somewhere where there's already something happening board game nights, hobby meetups, whatever you're actually into. The conversation basically writes itself because you're both just reacting to whatever's in front of you. Way less pressure than trying to cold approach someone who's just standing there.

The rejection thing in college though you got some no's and you shut it down completely and that's the real thing holding you back more than anything else. Every guy gets rejected constantly man, like constantly, the ones who do well aren't some special breed who never hear no they've just heard it so many times it stopped meaning anything. They're doing numbers until they hear a yes, they ignore everything else. I've been rejected hundreds of times in my life. You just shake it off and move on to the next one and that's literally the whole secret. No one is pulling every single interaction, doesn't matter who you are.

Don't spend money on dating coaches. Most of what they teach is floating around for free on YouTube and subs like this one. A lot of it is the same rehashed shit you can find anywhere. The only time I can see it make sense is if they are in person with you out in the field so they can help you correct mistakes. Even then it's a big reach. If it's online only, big no.

What are you actually into hobby wise? Because that's probably where your answer is. If you don't have a concrete hobby, I'm going to suggest the most cookie cutter shit you've probably heard, but look into some things in your city and get signed up. You're going to be seeing the same people over and over, conversations will be easier. This will help you work on your social skills just by talking to people naturally. You need to get out of your comfort zone, and spend more time with other people.

Jack26918 · 2026-03-09T01:50:08+00:00

In general, not for dating but to HAVE friends and learn to interact with people in general, join groups via MeetUp (if still around) or whatever, go do things, learn, get less anxious. Be upfront about your difficulties, they will likely be VERY kind to you and you will benefit a lot. I would do this before even thinking about attaining a GF. It will make you far less anxious, stressed, and confused in a relationship, and increase the odds of that relationship being an overall positive experience.

Jack26918 · 2026-03-09T01:58:37+00:00

When I got out of the Army, I had pretty severe effects from PTSD, and was very uncomfortable and rudderless in the civilian world, where I didn't want to be and felt wrong for. I went to my local comic shop, started going to their Board Game Night and Friday Night Magic [card game] events. I was treated extraordinarily warmly, and didn't feel self-conscious. I was accepted, and people helped me, and I slowly felt less anxious around crowds and confined spaces and strangers. I also really enjoyed the games we played, felt better about myself, and particularly liked people were voluntarily spending time with me and engaging with me, despite having no real reward for doing that. They even volunteered to drive me to and from! [I had no vehicle at that time] I do recommend finding a "FLGS" [Friendly Local Gaming Store] in your area, talking to an employee, and explain you are looking for a hobby that you can play there with a FRIENDLY community that will help you be more comfortable, gain friends, and improve social skills. I guarantee you, every employee will completely understand and be open to helping you. That is a big part of what lets those brick and mortar stores stay in business these days.

TopCare2720 · 2026-03-08T18:58:34+00:00

Neurological issues are always responsive to ketosis and/or OMAD(one meal a day).

Title	How to get a girlfriend?
Author	trozner
Upvotes	15
Comments	12
Date	March 8, 2026 4:29 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ro977f/how_to_get_a_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-get-a-girlfriend.1575011 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575011

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