Hey guys,

So I've been following here (and posting a bit) since my own divorce 1.5yrs ago, after being together with my ex for over 23 years, 17 of them married, 2 teenage daughters. Much of the stuff I read here, applied to my own process when going through the rough stages of divorcing, from devastation to building myself up again, the comparison of the waves crashing upon you in the start to diminish into a more gentle flow over time when it comes to the emotional side. I did the things most resort to: therapy, gym addiction, bettering yourself and trying the rediscover who you are as a person outside of a marriage.

Up until the start of 2026, I was just setting myself goals to reach: being cleared from therapy sessions while processing the grief, find my own house again, settling in, building myself up. Most of these were rational, clear goals. By the end of 2025 I moved from renting a place to my own house, still in the progress of making it my own 'home', and I start to love living here and the peace.

Now, since most of my rational goals were attained, my next goal was to start dating again, find some connection, someone to share moments with. But here I find myself running stuck in my head, feeling like another backlash of divorcing? The first woman I went on 3 dates with, but each time I felt 'restrained' when being with her. Not being nearly as playful as I used to be back in the day, freezing up instead of being able to build tension. Shortly after that 3th date we both agreed it wouldn't work out and wished each other the best in life. The second woman I'm dating now, I went on a 4th date last weekend, and again, although I like being in her company and all plays out well in my head, I just tend to freeze up or feel like 'something' is blocking me from moving more forward, and I just can't place it nor can I just let go of it. It frustrates me while being on a date, which makes it even harder. After the date, I then feel regret of how it went, how I sabotaged myself and more frustration that I can't let it go. Also the feeling of then being 'lonely' creeps in after we separate ways.

Has anyone experienced the same when they started dating again, and shed some insight on how I can approach/overcome this?