I read somewhere that if you are paying attention to a woman, she is winning. You are validating the notion that she is important to you by giving her space in your mind. This is especially compounded by social media, specifically Instagram stories. That girl you like may be posting life updates, thirst traps, funny quotes, that new song she’s listening to etc. Do yourself a favor and STOP watching them. You are not her fan. It may be a decent idea to watch them when you first meet her to get a sense of her vibe/what she’s about, but once you guys connect, consider leaving them alone.

If she wanted to engage with you about her day, she would text you directly. If she specifically wanted you to see her in that bikini/gym fit, she woulda sent that thirst trap to you directly. Because she has not, you must see this as attention farming on her end, and it’s doubly effective for them if you’re not actively in communication with her. This is allowing her to occupy real estate in your mind that she hasn’t earned. If she isn’t in your inbox or in front of you, you should not be thinking about her. By ignoring her public calls for attention, you are better able to maintain the idea that she isn’t all that important to you. And if she’s also interested in you, as she should be, she’ll understand the proper way to earn your attention.

If she’s asks you why/mentions that you don’t watch her stories, you can remind her that she has your number if she really wants to tell/show you something. It’s also probably a good idea to cut out IG stories altogether for the sake of your own attention span, but that’s another topic. Thoughts?