Approaching women, am I just that ugly or am I missing something?

Klutzy-Painting885 · 2026-05-06T00:05:37+00:00

You gotta work on your mindset, man. You’re not ugly.

eablokker · 2026-05-06T00:40:30+00:00

find a indication where a women wants you to approach them.

That is not a rule. Where the fuck did you get that from?

If I see these invitations, I would be much more comfortable talking to them (naturally, I just would).

How do you know you would if its never happened before? You just made that up. Lots of people still don't when they see indicators of interest.

should I just go say hi anyway?

Yes.

Pureevil1992 · 2026-05-06T00:50:58+00:00

I don't have an opinion on your looks, I don't think you are uglier than me. But as far as your post. Waiting for an invite to talk to a girl is bullshit, even when I get something that i think is an invite it rarely is correct. Just go talk to them if you find them attractive and want to get to know them. If you hang around waiting for invites all the time you are really limiting yourself, if they say fuck off, not interested, i have a boyfriend, whatever else girls say to reject you, don't worry about it just smile and say have a good time or whatever and go talk to the next girl you see. Some women are going to find you attractive, and some aren't, and a big part of it is not being nervous and having a confident energy when you approach. Which you are never going to get if you are waiting for a signal. Also maybe therapy or something because you need confidence bro, women today are mostly trash, if you are a good guy and have a good job you are the prize here. Just remeber this women can sleep with whoever they want, men choose when theres a relationship or marriage.

Total_Obligation_371 · 2026-05-06T01:43:10+00:00

Dating Coach here

No you don't need to wait until a girl gives you some kind of indication to approach.

And yes, you don't meet the minimum looks threshold for the majority of women so you are going to get very little results even if you approach a lot.

The good news is that the main reason you don't meet the look threshold is because you are out of shape, dress badly, and don't groom yourself well. If you lost 40 lb, put on some muscle, dressed cooler, and had better styled hair/facial hair and got contacts instead of glasses, you would definitely meet the looks threshold.

Scrace89 · 2026-05-06T01:47:06+00:00

You’re not ugly. You’re just overweight. Diet and gym for 1-2 years and come back.

Head_Research_3118 · 2026-05-06T01:51:15+00:00

the good news is you are ugly by choice , you can easily lose weight and dress better . If you get shredded you will have no problem getting women. Some guys legit have a terrible facial structure , a huge nose or something that cant be fixed. You only have to get in shape. Thats a blessing fr.

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-05-06T00:20:42+00:00

Like the other commenter said you gott change your mindset.

I used to have this mindset, that i was ugly, wasnt blessed with the looks, etc. Made every excuse, you know what i realized when i stopped making the excuses. Women dont care about being approached unless they are at a club and eye you from across the room.

I have found that most men have a good foundation they just dont try to look good. If i showed you a pic of me at 21 and me at 27 youd think it was 2 completely different people. Because the way i dressed, looked and even felt about myself completely changeed. Im not talking about in a "i hit the gym" way. Im talking about the haircuts i got, growing my beard, dressing in better clothing, wearing cologne and even my demeanor in the pictures is more confident. I just saw your pic and remember your post the other day, and i will say this again. You are not ugly, but in your pics it's clear you could use more of a makeover and youd need more confidence.

That's really what it is. Start going out and talking to people (man and women) get comfortable with the idea of meeting someone new. Talking to a stranger and expecting nothing but a pleasent conversation. It's going to take some time to get comfortable, some time feeling like a weirdo and making mistakes and feeling dumb. It's just going to happen, you need to go through that to realize that you are making it a bigger deal than it really is and when you do that, you can get to a place where youc an talk to the cutest girl you ever talked to and not care if she likes you or not.

ghostbanjo4 · 2026-05-06T00:52:31+00:00

Without a pic how can we tell you

personal_cheezits · 2026-05-06T01:14:35+00:00

You are not ugly. You need to work on your confidence, because if you start approaching women with the same level of self loathing as you give off in your post and comment history you’re going to run women off once you open your mouth.

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-05-06T01:19:39+00:00

It’s the vibe more than anything. A depressing I hate myself vibe (which you have) is not atttractive. Fix your vibe you’ll fix your succes with women

gr1bble · 2026-05-06T01:45:26+00:00

You're suffering from limeracy.

Self value and self development are 1000 times more attractive than singling a girl out and executing some elaborate plan to win her over.

Also, attractiveness is zero percent looks, hundred percent being the best version of your dangol' authentic self, and unconditionally accepting yourself.

lskerlkse · 2026-05-06T01:11:17+00:00

Look at your username

Stop beating yourself up

You're not ugly

Go to the orthodontist and get braces

Stop wearing white tees even if it has a loose button up over it. White doesn't go with your skin tone. Google how to choose colors for skin tone.

You are not ugly. And the glasses are nice.

Ok_Potential359 · 2026-05-06T00:51:04+00:00

If you wouldn't fuck you, then why expect a woman to?

Genuinely serious. You don't seem like you're putting much effort into your style or outfit or even your body.

I know it's unfair but if you don't have a lot of money or a big dick, what else genuinely were you bringing to the table? Modern dating unfortunately requires more effort. You can still get laid but you will get laid far less than if you put in the work.

I know men on this sub will try to flip the narrative for outliers but if your game isn't tight and you're living in anxiety and insecurity - something has to improve your confidence.

Taking pride in how you look and feel about yourself is IMO one of the most important things you can do for yourself.

Title	Approaching women, am I just that ugly or am I missing something?
Author	heartbrokennloser
Upvotes	3
Comments	33
Date	May 6, 2026 12:01 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1t4wse7/approaching_women_am_i_just_that_ugly_or_am_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/approaching-women-am-i-just-that-ugly-or-am-i.1579694 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579694

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