All going wrong with the kids

ConscientiousBee · 2026-07-01T21:23:59+00:00

"Silver bullet attempt" - New term to me. Looked it up. That's exactly what happened to me last year. One moment I thought we were heading for an amicable separation, the next, I'm hit with a letter from her solicitors making a wave of serious and unsubstantiated accusations - Abuse, coercion, financial control, fraudulently running my company. This was followed by attempts to bait me into conflict. Then honey trap attempts.

Most of that has died down, though she's still playing the victim to whoever will listen, whilst living off me, and litigating.

People assume the mum provides the consistent care and keeps the household going. In my household the opposite is true, though people rarely believe me when I say "look, I carried over 75%.of the care burden before we agreed to separate". Unfortunately they're far more likely to believe a mums sob story and assume the husband is guilty. It's an uphill battle. I've ended up ceasing to care.

My most recent challenge is that it seems my ex is trying to manipulate my son's school to help her build her case. The other day he mentioned that he'd been taken out of class and asked some questions about if everything is ok at home, if there's anything stressing him out. The school has thus far failed to explain the trigger for this. I'm anticipating I'll have to make a formal application to force transparency.

She has also attempted to damage my relationship with my kids, although I'm very close to them and the deep bond we have seems to be holding.

CoderJoe1 · 2026-06-29T20:14:29+00:00

All you can do is be there for your kids. Hopefully, when they'll need stability you'll be the one they call.

bluemarble-spaceship · 2026-06-29T16:26:31+00:00

Im so never getting married again. I read these stories and I think how lucky I am to have a prenup and totally separate accounts and my previous ex wife well she had a decent job and was fair. Men we cant keep making these mistakes or its just going to get worse. I know we all want women but it feels like the answer is only marry with a prenup, or if you really want to be happy never move then in so you can keep them at arms length. I know this isnt all women but this story is the rule not the exception, and I dont like it when the odds are HEAVILY stacked against me.

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2026-06-29T12:44:15+00:00

Most of us have been through it. And the algorithms on TikTok and Insta will encourage it. Women (and a lot of men) will come out of the woodwork, praising her for being so "brave". My ex's social media makes her look like a single mother with an abusive ex, despite the fact that I have 50% custody and never laid a finger on her.

The craziest phenemom is the "new friends" and family that seem to be drawn to the divorce. It's like they couldn't give two fucks about your wife until she tried to divorce you, then all of a sudden they appear, ready to be apart of the drama. Those friends will disappear when the drama does, but they will stir shit in the meantime.

Fearless-Pea-3813 · 2026-06-29T12:41:03+00:00

Start journal writing daily for yourself your deeper thoughts and letter writing weekly, to your kids, keep it positive and light. Give them a letter box to keep those letters in. Give them a Big Hug, hold on tight and a few seconds too long, each time you see them arrive and depart. It will work out for you :)

DivorcedDad26 · 2026-06-29T07:09:13+00:00

Hang in there man. STBX filed on me with a silver bullet attempt after I found out about her boyfriend in the beginning of March. One court date cancelled because her lawyer double booked and finally have another scheduled in August.

She is spending like she won the lottery and she really hasn't communicated anything back to me to advance the court case. Trying to get her to mediate before the court date so hopefully we can use it as a final hearing.

Oh yea, her boyfriend is a felon and they are trying to buy the love of my youngest two kids.

Hang in there man. We will both eventually get our day in court.

Title	All going wrong with the kids
Author	Boglehead101
Upvotes	12
Comments	6
Date	June 29, 2026 6:53 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1uikzw4/all_going_wrong_with_the_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/all-going-wrong-with-the-kids.1583881 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583881

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