Can RP save my relationship? 32/f

laere · 2014-05-25T08:01:08+00:00

30303030303030 · 2014-05-25T08:39:09+00:00

Is it possible to get those feelings back for him?

only if he changes

Cyralea · 2014-05-25T08:27:09+00:00

If the roles were reversed, I think the general consensus here would be to next the person and find someone who meets your needs better, in the interest of not wasting time.

In the interest of at least trying to salvage things, however, you could let it be known that you are getting fed up and are about ready to move on, a little thing they call dread game around here. But I don't really know if that applies to your situation, where the person is already crawling up your butthole.

But, honestly, I don't think you're going to be able to change this guy. You could try the whole sit-down and talk thing, but it sounds like he needs to work on his own self. Maybe the thought of losing you could be a big motivating factor, but then I'm sure deep down you'd feel like he would only be doing it to please you, thus making it a sort of subservient action and not truly a solid alpha trait.

Then again, maybe it could be something to work through together. Only you can weigh the pros and cons of leaving vs trying to iron out the creases.

You are probably better off asking the fine ladies over in /r/redpillwomen about it, like someone else pointed out.

Overzealous_BlackGuy · 2014-05-25T09:21:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SkorchZang · 2014-05-25T18:09:08+00:00

Boyfriend's doing everything by the book.

Everything wrong, that is.

NrwhlBcnSmrt-ttck · 2014-05-25T08:56:03+00:00

Ouch. Honey, one of the tenets we learn here is that you can't negotiate desire. Weigh his provisioning/commitment against how unattractive his behavior is (which I am certain you already have) and make your decision. This guy is fucked, lol. Sorry. Actually one thing you didn't mention is kids. If you have them, you already fucked up because if you leave him it will fyck with their lives. Your happiness is fuckall if you have kids. Your only recourse is to SHOW him TRP and hope.

frequentlywrong · 2014-05-25T09:39:37+00:00

I'd like to know your interpretation of what happened in my relationship for my feelings to shift.

Something sparked attraction between you two at the beginning. It blinded you of his deep seeded insecurities long enough to fire up feelings. Once you started seeing him regularly, those insecurities were not possible to hide and blazed out in the open.

There is a thread about RP books at the top. "No more mister nice guy" is right for him. So is "rational male" (which is mentioned in the comments) and "married man sex life".

There is also the beige phillip podcast. Listen to the first few episodes together, where they establish the beige phillip rules. They are pure truth.

Your lost attraction for him is 100% his fault. Because he is an insecure beta guy, you are not attracted. You can't help your nature that his insecurity is unattractive, but you can help him get over it. Buy him at least the first two books I have mentioned. Or you can direct him to this subreddit.

He needs to be willing to change. If you encourage him he probably will.

dropit_reborn · 2014-05-25T09:46:09+00:00

Hey, you're pretty awesome for asking this.

I think you're asking the right question:

And, in your opinion, once a woman's lost some respect for her man, can that respect ever come back?

Certainly. Women are people, and people instinctively respect the respectable.

And, you know, therein lies the rub.

The bad news is, you can't fix the situation yourself. You can treat someone well, but attraction is not a choice. He's the only one who can make himself more attractive. Worse, his progress would only be hindered by your "helping" (interestingly, this is not true if you reverse the genders).

What you can do is reward good things, and be vocal about them. When he does something you admire, or like, etc., say so. He is obviously smitten by you (yes, I know, that's not necessarily a good thing, but for this purpose it is), and he'll notice and remember if you point something out.

Unfortunately, TRP cannot save or fix your relationship. Only the people in the relationship can do that.

Aside from the relationship, I would recommend reading all you can here and at /r/redpillwomen. This is a community that prides itself on realism, even it misses the mark sometimes. You might learn something about your boyfriend or yourself, and that's never time wasted.

We_Are_Legion · 2014-05-25T21:46:30+00:00

Read this thread. http://np.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/22x39f/advice_please_how_to_encourage_more_masculine/cgr9doe

_SEEING_RED · 2014-05-25T09:05:07+00:00

Show him TRP (find an article that speaks to your situation and just send him that at first).

I think you're on the right track. Best of luck.

Mr-charming · 2014-05-25T09:53:20+00:00

We don't want women in our ranks so take this to the red pill women, also never ask for dating advice from anywhere else on reddit except the red pill subs, all the advice your are given elsewhere is PC (politically correct) garbage and usually centered around the woman which wont help you at all as it reinforces a "All about you" mentality.

Men of redpill can't offer adequate advice to help you because we're not women and we spend our time here focusing on mens issues, we only understand how to make the relationship work on our end.

With that being said, by the sounds of it he's every bit of what you don't want (you want a dominating man) so you need to move on, you can't tell a man to be alpha or any of the traits that an alpha may posses, he has to come across it on his own and accept that this is what he wants to embody.

goose_bondage · 2014-05-25T09:42:59+00:00

Smells like a bp troll

elchoma90 · 2014-05-25T09:11:33+00:00

Dress slutty and ask him to dominate you sexually. Be a good girl and make sure he likes it. Maybe after a couple times he'll take the hint and start being more dominant in the relationship. If not at least you gave the poor bastard a great goodbye fuck.

Sufferix · 2014-05-25T09:49:09+00:00

I think you should show him this post and let him browse this subreddit. He'll inevitably ask you questions about this post and probably about the implications of the things said in this subreddit. If he accepts it quickly and makes a change, good, maybe shit'll work out. If he objects to the findings here, then he is beyond hope and just next him.

TVTestPattern · 2014-05-25T19:24:55+00:00

Can you guys even imagine having a girl like this? TRP and does not know what RPW is?

She sounds about as unicorny as they come fellas.

Fix her relationship? Pfft... no.

Back into the water you go little fishy... one of us will find you.

cheetah_swirley · 2014-05-26T04:39:48+00:00

if you can find the humour in your own situation check out episode 1 season 4 of the boondocks.

have you heard of it? its a great show and social commentary

n0c0ntr0l · 2014-05-25T08:57:53+00:00

I: 12 times him / he : 7

Just dump him, this is all about you.

But before you dump him you could at least do a good deed and explain to him why how he acts is unattractive and send him this way.

_SEEING_RED · 2014-05-25T08:43:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

selfsufficientnigga · 2014-05-25T18:54:12+00:00

I just couldn't get it up for him.

Wat

fryandbend3r · 2014-05-25T19:24:45+00:00

I would recommend getting a father-figure or brother or some other masculine influence to spend a little time with him. A lot of guys want to emulate someone they look up to, so if given the right role-model they will try and improve themselves. I think once he gets exterior motivation and tries to build character he won't be as clingy have his life revolve around you.

NoFatChicks88 · 2014-05-25T21:00:26+00:00

I am sorry to hear about the problems in your relationship. To be honest I see this happen a lot. Have you tried letting your man know that he needs to have more initiative? Let him know that you like a man who takes charge. As someone else said, it would be a lot easier if it was him asking for advice instead of you.

Hope things work out.

smokingmonkey420 · 2014-05-25T22:04:14+00:00

Tell him to go to the gym and lift.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-05-26T03:47:46+00:00

once a woman's lost some respect for her man, can that respect ever come back?

Yes but HE must make them come back. Those original feelings of attraction and respect did not appear by magic. He created them. He can create them again and it is actually easier the second time around if the woman is willing to wait it out and support the changes.

However, your problem is the necessary changes your boyfriend needs to make are not all to your benefit. Many are- get in shape, lift weights, take charge, be the man, take care of business, improve yourself. However, your BF also needs to arm up with Pick up artist knowledge, start acting confident, cocky/funny, and start using hard Dread on this cold fish GF of his. Admit it: If your BF started lifting weights and got noticeably bigger, and suddenly become more social and started talking and charming hot girls right in front of you those old feelings would come right back wouldn't they?

Edit: Read the rest of the thread: Sorry to say but this guy just might be hopeless. These examples you give are beyond cringe worthy. I was going to suggest he read Athol Kay's Managed Attraction plan but see he already did. If I were you I would review the parts about disengaging from your vampire and move through the 7 steps as he directs with the goal of your man becoming a man again...or else. Whiny bitch says pick out my shirt for me cuz I want to look nice for you? WTF!

2014-05-26T15:58:06+00:00

Certainly, you can get back your feelings for him again. Paradoxically, that would be if he distances himself from you a bit. At the very least, "He tells me I am beautiful multiple times a day", yeah, that shit has to stop. He needs to do at least 20 pushups a day till the testosterone is flowing normally again. This sounds super cliched if you're an intellectual; it works in real life.

Title	Can RP save my relationship? 32/f
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	65
Date	May 25, 2014 7:44 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/26flmy/can_rp_save_my_relationship_32f/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/can-rp-save-my-relationship-32f.15846 https://theredarchive.com/post/15846

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