40m in TX my wife asked for a divorce about a month ago and we have been separated since. We’ve been in contact pretty much the entire time, but there have been some fights and cool off periods.

Well I found out she fucked an ex and I’m all of a sudden ready to sign the papers. I don’t tell her that I know, but I reach out and say that I’m ready to sign.

And she ends up revealing at some point that she had actually already filed for divorce over three weeks ago. Just decided not to tell me. So 3 weeks of cooling off period now gone for me without my knowledge.

At first, she said it doesn’t change anything and it’s not a big deal. We are doing this pro se, so I told her this was a huge violation of trust and that imagine if we had lawyers, how pissed mine would be right now. We basically are our own lawyers.

Then she said she didn’t tell me because we were fighting. I went and looked at the text and the days before she filed and the following week at the very least, we were getting along and sending each other, cat pictures. I send her those screenshots.

Then she finally landed on “you weren’t ready to know yet”. Eventually, she apologized and as an olive branch, she brought over our third cat that she had taken from the house a few weeks ago, breaking my heart more than the divorce tbh.

Anyways, should I just forgive and forget? Should I tell her that I want 21 days added to the cooling off period? Is that reasonable? We likely won’t be ready at that point anyway. I still haven’t been served yet, does anything change after I get served? Should I delay it?