Friends avoiding me and deliberately not inviting me to hang out and I don't know why. [19/M]

DevilishRogue · 2021-03-25T12:55:16+00:00

Ask whichever one of them you think will be most honest with their answer, "What gives?". For all you know one of their girlfriends might have been saying that you hit on her or something. It isn't needy, petty or confrontational to want to know what is going on in your situation.

tempcho · 2021-03-25T13:59:41+00:00

As others suggested, ask what's the problem. If after all those three years of friendship they don't want to give you a straight answer - it's time to look for other friends.

Hang out with whomever makes you happy and beneficial to your mental/physical health.

chefnoodler · 2021-03-25T13:29:30+00:00

How'd you find out you weren't invited to the party? If someone came up and said hey you weren't invited I think I'd tell them to get fucked and find new friends. Soft next since they want to act like women.

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2021-03-25T15:12:27+00:00

you are self improving, they don't want you to ELEVATE ABOVE THEIR LITTLE group hierarchy...and THESE PPL ARE NOT REALLY YOUR REAL FRIENDS.

YOU might've saw them as your friends, but they saw things differently this entire time.

AuberyBitoni · 2021-03-25T16:23:48+00:00

I'm an asshole but I'm doing this to one of my friends. My friend used to be cool but now he's a beta phaggot. All he cares about is eating junk food, playing video games and drinking alcohol every day. He gained like 60 pounds in 1 year and he's borderline obese now. I've tried taking him to the gym with me many times but he doesn't care about improving himself.

I love him as a friend but over the past years he has become so boring. We have nothing in common anymore. At social gatherings it always feels like I have to hold his hand. I've introduced him to loads of people but he just sits there and doesn't talk to anyone which is awkward. When I'm flirting with a girl he will get angry and say that I ditched him.

I like to do my own thing when I'm at a social gathering like talking to and meeting new people. He doesn't like to get out of his comfort zone. When I take him somewhere out of our small town, he will complain to me that he's not having fun and asks me to go home.

When I tell him I'd rather stay he gets butthurt. It has come to the point where I don't feel like hanging around him anymore. I love him as a brother, but always when he's around I have way less fun than when I'm going out with other friends/alone. Every weekend he just wants to chill at his place, order pizza and drink beer, no thanks.

Me and him talked about it. He noticed that I barely hang out with anymore. And I've told him many times that I'd rather do something new instead of drinking at his place every weekend. Then he lies and tells me he's having fun when he's out with me but he's always complaining. So it has come to the point where I'm just giving up on him.

offbeat_glass · 2021-03-25T16:35:22+00:00

My advice is don’t even try contacting them anymore. Work on self improvement for a little bit and be open to finding new friends. Like someone said up there, they are now a liability. Don’t take this lightly. I’ve literally had friends similar to this when I was like 16. I felt like they were throwing me shade here and there. When we were like 22 They called me up one day and asked if I wanted to go to Florida with them and visit our other friend that moved there the year prior. We were going to rent a place together, find local jobs and branch out from there. The third day I woke up to them packing there car and they told me they’re going to Pennsylvania to visit their dad and I can’t come. They literally left my ass in the Florida keys. I bought a bus ticket to key west, got a job my first day there, found a dude at the bar to rent me his couch and made that experience my bitch. Long story short is friends like this are unpredictable and they are indeed a liability.

BorneofBlood · 2021-03-25T15:33:05+00:00

Be mature and just ask one of them that you trust what’s going on and see how they respond. If it’s a genuine reason then decide for yourself but if it’s some BS then it’s time to find new friends bro.

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red__Man · 2021-03-25T20:28:08+00:00

most friends come and the go, find new people, and don't forget to keep improving yourself.

MrNeverDryDick · 2021-03-25T21:02:19+00:00

I had a group of “friends” that did this to me. Turns out they didn’t like when I was around because I took female attention away from them.

There were two girls in particular in our social group that they had crushes on. Well they weren’t feeling them and whenever we were out it would always be me and one of the other girls fucking around while they sat in the corner and pouted.

Long story short I ghosted them and am better off now. The girls got jealous I was fucking other women and the guys finally got them to theirselves in the group. Did they ever get anywhere with the girls? One managed to finally cuff one of them after three years of orbiting while she was fucking countless other dudes (including me). And the other girl just ended up staying single despite his best efforts to get her.

There could be any number of reasons. The point is you focus on what’s best for you and you don’t supplicate for friendship with dudes who have no intention of actually being your friend or get spiteful when good things are going for you

kclanton80 · 2021-03-26T08:09:34+00:00

Use absence to increase respect and honor.

Maybe it's time to move on from them and grow.

Tambamwham · 2021-03-25T15:56:19+00:00

Straight up address it. But my attitude wouldn’t be confrontational or entitled. I would just be like “looks like there isn’t room for me anymore and if that’s the case, I’ll be on my way. Best of luck fellas.”

Title	Friends avoiding me and deliberately not inviting me to hang out and I don't know why. [19/M]
Author	kiankian321
Upvotes	7
Comments	21
Date	March 25, 2021 12:41 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/mcxbjm/friends-avoiding-me-and-deliberately-not-inviting-/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/friends-avoiding-me-and-deliberately-not-inviting.1598274 https://theredarchive.com/post/1598274

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