My best friend is married to a whore and he doesn't know it.

vainglory7 · 2016-02-21T11:09:22+00:00

Don't do it. His life is not your responsibility. He is willingly doing what he is doing. Not much you can do there.

phaseonx11 · 2016-02-21T11:18:08+00:00

Your friend is hopeless. Only those that want to be helped can be.

Don't go down with his ship.

SlothOnRoids · 2016-02-21T12:09:53+00:00

No point bro. Take it from someone who has tried helping a beta good friend of mind. I've been giving him advice for this girl he's had oneitis for close to a year, he says "yeah your right" and then later reverts back to his beta ways regardless. I gave up on him at this point, they are going to do what they are going to do anyway, maybe after she completely destroys him he'll come around.

balalasaurus · 2016-02-21T12:29:28+00:00

Well you clearly aren't responding to the 'it's not your problem' advice being given to you so here's an alternative route. I warn you it will be unsavory and you will not like it but it's the only way, considering you've tried to reason with him and it just isn't working.

Forget about him.

No seriously, let him get burnt. Cut contact with him. Allow him to isolate himself and then get fucked by the bitch to the point when he finally wakes up.

Right now he still has you on his side so the threat of losing you is not real. He needs to arrive at a crossroad and make the decision to dump her or lose you for good. Only then will he be ready to swallow the pill.

The difficulty in this will fall predominantly on your end. You're going to have to watch your friend crash and burn and do nothing. It wont be easy and you'll be tempted to intervene, but you have to let him wake up for himself.

To do so would be to deny him the chance to grow. He needs to see the glitches in the matrix on his own to be truly unplugged, and that's not something you can help him with.

oglowkey · 2016-02-21T13:43:58+00:00

Ever read Plato's allegory of the cave? If you try to force him to see the truth he will reject it and attack you. You have to either wait for him to come to you or be clever and slowly introduce him to a different way of thinking.

[deleted] · 2016-02-21T12:50:46+00:00

Sometimes it takes a hard lesson to be able to accept a hard truth. Not everyone can be saved, bro.

We all know he's well and truly fucked himself at this point, if you really want to help him, you're going to have to do it by being there to turn this into a positive thing when the inevitable happens. Start checking out divorce attorneys in your area so you can suggest one later. When the divorce happens and he moves further into the bottle (he already sounds like this is how he copes), focus on self improvement and hitting the gym together (breakups create bodybuilders). Go on a program together to get shredded for summer or some other goal. Take a vacation together and bang some sluts.

Really, if you want to help him this is what you need to do - otherwise you probably should just ignore the whole shit show.

This could be the both the best thing and the worst thing that ever happens to your beta friend. It's a measure of a man whether he will turn a terrible experience into a valuable lesson or just keep repeating the same mistakes.

InscrutablePUA · 2016-02-21T16:37:00+00:00

Haha Chinese women are absolutely brutal in finding beta males they can control and sucking them dry.

[deleted] · 2016-02-21T18:53:11+00:00

Here's what you do and you aren't going to like it.

Fuck his girlfriend and then show him the dirty nasty pictures.

He'll hate you. He'll never be your friend after that.

But maybe, just maybe you'll save him from this cunt. Maybe, just maybe he'll have enough pain and heartache that he'll finally start asking the hard questions that all of us have had to ask and which hurt the most to answer.

Then maybe he'll figure it out and if he does he might forgive you. Maybe even thank you.

But I honestly can't think of any other way to do this. It's nearly impossible to tell someone who is in love just what a mistake they are making.

Stron23 · 2016-02-22T01:15:08+00:00

Are you or have you ever been, a meth addict?

GunPostal · 2016-02-21T12:43:10+00:00

I don't know if this will work, never tried this so just a suggestion.

1.) Google and learn a very fast emotion stabilizing technique called EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques to calm his mind. Once he is calm, he will be ready to absorb what you say.

You invite him for a jog, bicycle or a stroll so that the physical exercise will calm his mind and pull him from over thinking which causes his paralysis.

2.) There are recorded shows by tom leykis in YouTube featuring his best works. Go get a six pack beer, invite him to your place, sit next to him and listen to the videos then brain storm. He also have began broadcasting again in his site blowmeuptom dot com and order his subscription service where you can pick leykis 101 recordings.

Share an earbud while listening to this in your iPod if you are doing this outside.

3.) Print and read aloud a collection of works here in this sub that you think will help explain even further your message. Pick reports and stories.

4.) Finally, finish the session by reminding him you are his friend and you are doing this because of that and beg him to please listen and follow your advice JUST ONCE. Be calm and strong as you say this while giving him a bro hug.

The key here is to barrage him with stacks of evidence of AWALT every single time, especially real life horror stories that way it's always fresh and interesting.

You will see him go through phases of grief like denial, anger (in this stage he can lash against you, don't take it personally - just keep calm and be stoic), bargaining, depression then acceptance. Be patient with him as he goes through these stages.

You will need to do this once a day, outside while jogging if possible to slowly break him free from the negativity loop. If you can, get him a motel room and let him stay over there to get his mind together away from the negative source.

Once he is fully convinced, help him plan for a divorce. There should be guide around here somewhere to give you pointers or simply make a new topic.

AlwaysBeHungry · 2016-02-21T14:30:08+00:00

Tell him you will always be there for him, but you can't watch him throw away his life for some woman. If all goes well, which it won't, you can rest assured he is happy. If(when) it fails, make him divorce.

If you can show him your relationships, how your casual women have more respect than his wife, then he will see how much better he can do and will be happy to never see her face again

IVIaskerade · 2016-02-21T14:34:36+00:00

What's rule 1 of TRP?

flatox · 2016-02-21T14:42:12+00:00

Show him this post.

[deleted] · 2016-02-21T12:02:58+00:00

You can't fix a beta any more than you can fix a ho. You might as well use him like one before he drags you down with him.

red-triad · 2016-02-21T14:47:19+00:00

Nothing you can do. He makes his own choices

batfish55 · 2016-02-21T14:49:07+00:00

Hey! My best friend from 9th grade just got married! We've been out of high school for....a while now.

He just married....well, I wouldn't call her a whore. But she's definitely ridden the carousel. Been pounded by a lot of bad boys. Criminals, drug dealers, physically/emotionally abusive guys, some that have done time (these are all HER words! I heard her say them! Of course, she trying to say in comparison how great my boy is). Oh, she JUST turned 30.

So, I know she's going to leave him. I knew before the wedding. I couldn't even get him to have her sign a pre-nup, let alone reconsider his wedding.

That's just background, here's where this applies to you: I value our friendship. You can't make a heroin addict not put the needle is his arm. He's gonna do what he's gonna do. You can do all you can to try to convince him it's a bad idea, but he's gonna do what he's gonna do. You have 2 choices:

1 - Nag him about what the right thing to do is, ie, feed him RPT (without mentioning the phrase "Red Pill", but you should know that already) relentlessly (just don't sound like a used car salesman or a mormon at your door on sunday morning). He'll either get it, or he'll tell you to fuck off, he looooves her. At which point, you tell him you'll always be his friend, and when she leaves him and divorce rapes him, he can crash on your couch for a little while.

2 - Firmly, rationally, calmly tell him where you stand. "Dude, you're my bro, but that chick is a whore. She's already cheated on you at least twice, she doesn't love you, and she's going to leave you. I can't watch that happen. I'm still your boy, but I can't sit around and watch this bitch destroy you. You have my number, call me when she leaves you and I'll buy you a beer or five."

Sorry dude. It sucks, but you can't live his life for him. If he really is your friend, all you can do is to be a friend to him when he needs you, even if he chooses her over you for a while.

yumyumgivemesome · 2016-02-21T15:33:07+00:00

I've sometimes had success getting friends a little more interested in TRP by letting them hear about some of my sexual exploits. I always have sex videos and pics on my phone so it's easy to share and to get them excited about it. They get curious, and I tell them to start with the gym. If they keep inquiring then I slowly start to mention TRP concepts to see how they respond. Only if that resonates will I expressly mention TRP. And I'll do it in such a way to explain that it will sound misogynistic, but it's basically a good way to start understanding the core differences between men and women.

RedRhapsody · 2016-02-21T16:48:35+00:00

Your friend is trapped behind the pussy shield. He has a woman in his life. Any RP truths you share with him will be deflected by the "love" he has for this woman. Any attempts to apply logic and reason to this woman and his relationship with her will be ignored. He'll think "Not her. She's not like that."

The only times I've seen a BP man be open to RP concepts is when he doesn't have a woman in his life.

His only hope is to lose this woman. Let him. Don't try to make him.

When she's gone (she'll leave eventually) then start laying the truth on him.

pers0n · 2016-02-21T16:53:34+00:00

I agree with most people on here, that it is probably hopless. Maybe you could try some not red pill advice, since the rp just isnt in his system. For example, try to make him put himself in her shoes. If he were her, would he ever do those things to someone he truely cared for and didn't want to lose, or are those the kinds of things one only does when they dont care? She is outcome independent, her actions show it. One day she will find something that tips her on the side of divorce, does he really want to sit around and wait for it, delaying the inevitable by giving into her every request. Tell him the only way to fix the marriage, make his wife desire him again, is for him to put on an alpha act all the time (see married red pill).

drallcom3 · 2016-02-21T17:29:51+00:00

It's none of your business what he does, You know he won't listen anyway.

Just be a good friend and catch him when he falls (caused by divorce rape). And don't feed him RP. Show him instead.

SIC_redditcruiser · 2016-02-21T17:45:44+00:00

Give some RP lite material like MMSLP and go from there. Continue to gently point out things in the relationship in a RP manner without talking in RP lingo. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it.

[deleted] · 2016-02-21T17:57:13+00:00

Is he really ugly or what? Jesus Christ

MuhTriggersGuise · 2016-02-21T18:41:55+00:00

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink. Back off, support your friend when he needs it, but don't ever start playing a part in his beta behavior. He wants the three of you to hang out, be like "Dude, sorry, but she's cheated on you a bunch. You might have forgiven, but I love you man, I can't. Let me know when you're free for the two of us to hang out." If he starts seeing that you care more about his treatment than he does himself, he might start questioning why he puts up with this shit. Aside from that, all you can do is lead by example. Don't ever take shit from women, and show him how much more respect you get by doing so.

spurdosparade · 2016-02-21T19:26:55+00:00

You can only unplug yourself, try to unplug someone who's not ready to be unplugged, he'll revolt against you. Enjoy your ex-friend.

Anti-Hubbard · 2016-02-21T19:28:03+00:00

You can't save him, at least not while you are trying to stay his friend. If you really want to help him, you need to be prepared to to be hated for it. Spell out all the crap women have dumped on him just because he lets them do it. Tell him why all his relationships fail so miserably. He will probably reject what you say, but there is a chance he might wake up and realize you were right some day (don't expect immediate results). If you're not willing to go that far, then you're better off doing nothing at all and hoping he figures it out on his own.

[deleted] · 2016-02-24T09:36:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

anooblol · 2016-02-22T05:25:31+00:00

Unfortunately people don't change because you want them to. It is a choice someone needs to make on their own. You can guide him to the answer, but only he can lift up his head, out of the darkness and into the light.

Think of your friend as a drug addict. He is living in a drunken bliss given off by the aura of his "Hot Wife." He will continue to feed off her aura, even though she is "ruining" his life, because in the moment it feels great. Eventually, like all drug addicts, he will hit rock bottom, and only then will he pick his head up, look at the damage she has caused him, and then try to find a path to fix himself.

When he finally hits rock-bottom, is when he is most impressionable, and you can guide him to the solution he is looking for. But as for now, there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix him.

Note: All you can do is aid a falling friend. Be there for him, support him, tell him what mistakes are being made. But only he can fix himself.

[deleted] · 2016-02-22T16:14:54+00:00

Give him a link to this sub. Whether he takes it or not is his choice

EvilPenName · 2016-02-22T17:33:26+00:00

As others have said it is useless to have talks about women to men still plugged in. I would say let the marriage ride out to fail but see if you can get him to put some ducks in a row to protect from the eventual divorce rape he is going to get (e.g. giving you some assets to hold).

redolas · 2016-02-21T11:39:40+00:00

Stop wasting time on him. Live your life, not his. You're just proving yourself wrong by pampering for his needs.

TWYW · 2016-02-21T12:22:35+00:00

Maybe set up a fake email account and link him the most appropriate TRP post for his situation and hope it sticks.

Only do this if you're sure he'll never know it was you.

Title	My best friend is married to a whore and he doesn't know it.
Author	vainglory7
Upvotes	19
Comments	97
Date	February 21, 2016 11:01 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/46uup6/my_best_friend_is_married_to_a_whore_and_he/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/my-best-friend-is-married-to-a-whore-and-he-doesnt.161048 https://theredarchive.com/post/161048

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