My Boyfriend Seems Mad With Me but I don't Know Why? Usualy He's Very Up Front About it So I'm confused.

sugarcrush · 2014-06-04T02:37:51+00:00

This seems real trollish but I'm going to answer anyways because I'm bored.

You seem sweet, but honestly clueless.

First of all, you moved in wayyy too soon. I think it would be best if you had a part time job outside of modeling and had your own source of income so you can support yourself and live on your own and develop better habits while you get to know him more seriously. It's not good to be messy in the first place, and leaving a mess in an apartment someone else pays for is extra disrespectful.

Second, dancing with other guys in the club is absolutely not okay. Yeah it might be "just fun" to you, but 1. It is obviously irritating him 2. It is NOT "just fun" to other guys, they want to fuck you 3. Even if you say "oh I would never do that!", it is too easy to drink a bit too much and get carried away. Plus, everyone else in the club doesn't know that you would never do that. To them, including your bf, it absolutely does look like you would do that. Again, disrespectful.

I'm unclear if you have asked him why he is mad at you or not? In any case, he might not be able to say why because it sounds like it's just a bunch of things that have built up. On the bright side, you do seem to be aware of your faults. Try committing to a real self improvement plan. Keep your place clean, work on being absentminded (maybe write yourself notes?), and cut down on the amount you go out. At least be aware of how your actions affect your bf and appear to outsiders. If you want to dance, go dance with your bf or maybe a girl friend. Or even better, take up a hobby or class and find something better to do than wrecking yourself all night at a club. Late nights and hangovers don't make pretty models... Or wives.

2014-06-04T01:38:36+00:00

ladies, Let's all be a little kind to this one til she gives us a reason not to, she just got beat up over at asktrp

little_red_ · 2014-06-04T03:02:59+00:00

dancing with other men is disrespectful. its sexual in nature and shouldn't be accepted, even if your boyfriend is preoccupied with other business. only having sex with him when he asks for it can be extremely frustrating, as is forgetting something he's asked you to do (again, disrespectful), it makes you seem like the things he says aren't important enough for you to remember or follow through on. keep a day planner and write down important reminders to yourself if you are so forgetful, i am a major note taker/list maker myself for that reason.

why are you with this man? do you want to end up marrying him or is he just 'for now'? you should be investing your time in a man you want to spend the rest of your life with, and if this is the man you are considering to do that with, you should definitely feel comfortable enough to ask him if something is the matter so you can remedy the issue rather than prolonging the problem.

i would say that if he's generally open with you about bringing up issues, he may feel like he's done it enough times and has not seen results from you. he may not see a point in speaking with you about your faults any longer, and there may be bigger problems at hand.

eatplaycrush · 2014-06-04T02:01:43+00:00

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SirNemesis · 2014-06-04T02:08:21+00:00

Depending on the guy, he could find it disrespectful that you dance with other guys. You see it as just fun, but that might not be how he sees it.

In any case, depending on his personality, it might simply work to ask him whether he wants you to change in any way to improve the relationship.

scallopkid · 2014-06-04T05:37:32+00:00

The most important thing to remember is that your intentions don't matter, only the consequences of your actions. It doesn't matter if you think it's ok to dance with guys or be late and get punished, only if he thinks it's ok. Maybe he doesn't want to keep having to reprimand you, he wants you to improve. I am also very bad with being on time and remembering to do things, but I can tell you from experience that when you mess up at your boyfriend's expense, it hurts him, and it is disrespectful because it shows you don't care enough to make an effort. What I used to do was try to live like he was watching any time he wasn't there, it helped me remember what my priorities were.

FriedmanRP · 2014-06-04T12:05:09+00:00

Basic RPW 101: do not squander your sex.

Also you mention auditioning for things? What exactly, and why? Does this mean you have to provide for yourself financially - did you discuss this with him? Perhaps he'd rather you started thinking about children and staying at home instead of dancing at clubs with other men or trying to take over his position as bread winner/captain in your relationship.

TempestTcup · 2014-06-04T17:05:19+00:00

uh actualy he gets irritated things like when were out at a club or an event if I go off and dance with guys and stuff? which I think is silly because its just dancing. Or if I leave the apartment a mess or im late getting back or late going somewhere. And I am doing better on things like you say like putting it in my mouth when he wants. At first I wasnt and it would piss him off, you know?

What I am reading here is that you think he's silly when he gets mad at you for being with other men. He is paying for your life and you leave the apartment a mess. You refuse to be on time. And you used to refuse him blowjobs. Is there any value that you DO provide to his life except being an orifice for his ejaculate?

2014-06-04T03:09:39+00:00

If he ordinarily would tell you if he's pissed at you, and he seems generally angrier but hasn't said anything about it to you, he's probably not angry at you. You say you haven't spent much time together recently-- has he been busier at work? It's entirely possible that his mood has nothing to do with you...

.... buuuut you'll never know unless you ask. Don't be accusatory... just something like "you don't seem to be your regular cheerful self lately... is there anything I can do to help?"

Meanwhile, work on your faults. I'm going to assume you have a smartphone (since pretty much everyone does). Set reminders for events so you can't forget-- have an alarm go off to remind you. Absent-mindedness and inability to uphold your (time) commitments do not bode well for your relationship, or for your career prospects. Get organized.

... and finally, the dancing with other guys is usually something that's problematic for boyfriends. Maybe it isn't for your particular boyfriend, but it might be worth cutting it out for awhile to see if his mood improves. Men (much like women) like to feel that they're the only man their SO has eyes for, they just aren't likely to express that desire. Give it a shot-- fawn over him a little, flirt with him, put his desires (if he doesn't want to dance) first.

This applies to the "bedroom life" too-- seduce him. Smile, wear cute panties, be playful. Whether he's pissed at you or frustrated with life, you want to be the place he can come to forget it all. Pamper him a little; have his favorite beer in the fridge ready for when he comes home, bring him one, take his shoes/tie/jacket, have him kick back and relax a bit. Give him a shoulder-rub.

This is all generic advice, of course... to really cater to your particular man, set yourself a phone reminder now! Every day, when the alarm goes off, try to think of one thing you can do to make his life easier. Are there errands that need running? Chores that need doing? Did you notice he's low on any of his favorite cologne/shampoo/etc? Has he mentioned anything in passing in terms of "I need to do x when I get time"? Do it for him! Be giving and selfless, and if he's a good dude, he'll be happy to return the favor.

Good luck!

eatplaycrush · 2014-06-04T16:57:53+00:00

Or if I leave the apartment a mess or im late getting back or late going somewhere.

I read this on your askTRP post. What you're doing wrong 1)Leaving the apartment a mess. CLEAN IT. Learn to be productive. Learn to stop being a floater. He works a lot, do you think he wants to be the financial provider and clean up after a messy girl? NO. He wants someone to support his role as the breadwinner. 2) You're late getting back from places. You need to work on this. You need to call/text him when you are on your way if he is expecting you, you need to do whatever you can to NOT be late. What makes you late? He is obviously expecting you to be somewhere at a certain time which YOU made. Same thing goes for being late to places. That's just childish. As an adult, you need to take responsibility for your own life.

2014-06-06T18:38:18+00:00

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TempestTcup · 2014-06-04T16:30:42+00:00

He is getting tired of dealing with you; here are the signs:

He's definitely angrier with me these days.

we haven't really like, Done It in a couple weeks now which is unusual for us.

I don't mean to be disrespectful with the dancing but I guess hes gone out with his friends a lot lately without me these days so maybe thats a problem after all. He only really yelled at me once about it so I didnt do it for a little while but I should stop all together I guess.

He yelled at you about it and you STILL continue to do it? Are you nuts? This is why he is going out without you - he can't trust you to behave yourself.

we're not really around at the same times lately this past few weeks. Like I'm running around to auditions or hes working late or out with his friends a lot seems like

And then there is this:

Yeah thats a good point. And I really really haaaate it to get punished or lectured so its not like Im disrespectful on puropse its just the absent mindedness stuff again

Why are you being "absent minded"? It's because you do not respect him. You go against his wishes. You are already being "punished and lectured" at this early date? You haven't even been together for six whole months! The problem is that you blame everything on this absent mindedness instead of QUITTING BEING ABSENTMINDED! QUIT!

I really don't think you have it in you to turn this relationship around. If he is already avoiding you and staying out late, in a less than six month old relationship, then he is probably already moving on.

little_red_ · 2014-06-04T04:14:27+00:00

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proprioceptor · 2014-06-04T17:02:06+00:00

You need to ask him what's going on.

Also regarding clubbing and dancing with other guys, I think most guys are going to get at least a little jealous. Yeah, it's fun, but I wouldn't do that because I don't want to put my SO in a position where he feels like he has any competition.

You guys haven't been dating very long. If those are just things that you've always done and don't think you're doing anything wrong, he might be re-evaluating whether or not he wants to be with you.

FleetingWish · 2014-06-04T18:25:59+00:00

Your SO sounds like mine, very good at telling you when he is mad at you. If thats the case, maybe he's not mad at you, maybe something else is bothering him, maybe it's your imagination, or maybe he is mad at you. Either way, you have to talk to him about it. Sitting around worrying about it won't fix anything. You can only do better, or make him feel better, once you know what you did. Not talking about it is about the stupidest thing you can do. It makes it so you can't apologize, you can't fix it, and it makes you likely to repeat the mistake, making it worse. Swallow your pride, and ask him.

2014-06-12T03:53:25+00:00

12\10 quality troll, and your follow up posts show just how committed you are to your character frame, well done sir.

Title	My Boyfriend Seems Mad With Me but I don't Know Why? Usualy He's Very Up Front About it So I'm confused.
Author	4ft10azn
Upvotes	2
Comments	80
Date	June 4, 2014 1:33 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2796es/my_boyfriend_seems_mad_with_me_but_i_dont_know/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-boyfriend-seems-mad-with-me-but-i-dont-know-why.165443 https://theredarchive.com/post/165443

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