How to keep up with my SO?

[deleted] · 2015-02-03T02:16:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Aerobus · 2015-02-03T02:25:43+00:00

Let me ask you a question that I think I and you both already know the answer to.

Are you attracted to this man?

Let me ask you one more question:

When your SO does things like these, moments later can you not help but feel as if you love this man the same if not more?

I get that you're confused, and that you feel insecure, but I'm going to tell you an RP truth that you're not going to like hearing.

If a woman has too much security in a relationship, she's not going to be as attracted to her partner. This topic has been beaten to death. You may not believe it, but if he acts like a total nice guy, and stops playing these mind games with you, 6 months from now, your hamster is going to run in cirlces in your head. You'll be thinking "where did all the fun and excitement go!! This relationship is boring now!" 6 months later (if that), you're going to call him over for "the talk."

I don't mean to be sexist, but a maxim that has arose on TRP and AR is this

A woman would rather be insulted than bored.

That maxim is true.

You yourself said it best:

sidenote : He does not reddit, but could have written a Red Pill guide himself. A mix of natural personality, his heritage/upbringing, and exposure to bdsm have made him the way he is. He knows exactly what he's doing.

Let him. If you legitimately feel scared, threatened, insecure, worried that you may never have a future together, etc, then yes, it might be time to find a new partner. But I read this entire post of yours, and I think it is very silly.

You say you want to "keep up" with him. Why? What good will that do? Suppose, for the sake of argument, tomorrow you awaken as a new woman, fully equipped to deal with his mind games (which by the way sound like push/pull, a PUA technique) what are you going to do? Are you going to call him out on each instance of him toying with your mind? If you do that, you'll be creating arguments for no reason, and soon, in a couple of months you'll write another post on RPW titled "My SO and I fight so much about seemingly stupid things and I don't know what to do about it."

Don't keep up with your SO. Accept him for who he is. Don't try to change him, because women are biologically programmed to chip away at an alpha until he becomes beta, and once he is beta, they resent him and become unattracted to him. If you really want a (good) future with this man, you want to be attracted to him.

If, say in a couple more months, you really feel this relationship is going nowhere, and you feel insecure too often, then yes, you may want to consider a break-up. But after reading this post, I can't help but find your concerns as juvenile.

Bakerofpie · 2015-02-03T04:13:17+00:00

Am I missing something? What you are calling "mind games" I just call flirting. How is acting more aggressively toward you leading up to sex any more nefarious than any other form of light foreplay? I really don't understand why you would be bothered by any of this.

In the first example he's acting in a way he knows you think is sexy because he wants you to want him. There's nothing wrong with that whatsoever and in fact you should consider yourself lucky that he puts in the effort to keep your sex life exciting. It's a good thing.

In the second example it just sounds like he wants some validation so he finds a way to get it from you without losing your attraction by seeming needy and whiny. Also not a bad thing at all. Third example sounds like the same thing. He's trying to have fun with you and get some reassurance.

My Husband does some things to "manipulate" me, and I appreciate those things: he will also act more aggressively to get me turned on and acting more submissive toward him, and I'm glad he knows how to do things because there is no downside to being incredibly attracted to him. He makes fun of me because he gets a kick out of getting me riled up, but he knows I actually enjoy it and is trying to have fun with me and get me to be more soft to him. That is also a good thing because there is no downside to having fun interactions with my Husband.

I know what he's doing much of the time, and I just let him do it, because why on earth wouldn't I? Why do you need to "keep up" with your boyfriend? It sounds like all he's doing is making your relationship better and more exciting. If he were playing mind games that were detrimental to your mental wellbeing and causing problems in your life then you should leave him. But as long as his "mind games" are giving a beneficial outcome to what sounds like both of you if you would put your ego aside, you should appreciate it and carry on.

blueWidow · 2015-02-03T02:47:00+00:00

Why do you want to have a heads up on him. He seems to be treating you well and using his powers responsibly. He seems to enjoy having you just the way he likes it. It's part of your appeal to him. Has he expressed wanting a smarter partner? RPW use different ways to get to a man's heart. If he is a good catch and a good long term prospect and loyal, I think you should just enjoy the ride.

wittyusernameplease · 2015-02-06T01:15:59+00:00

Honestly, this sounds like an emotionally abusive relationship. He gets off on tormenting you and making you feel frustrated and shamed -- and not in a fun, playful way, in a way that undermines you and hurts. You say that he's "much smarter" than you and that you end up neglecting your own needs/wants -- it's working. He's made you believe that you are his inferior in every way. You may be attracted to him and devoted to him, but to him you're just a game. Have respect for your own right to being well-treated, and see this behaviour for what it actually is: abusive, childish and disrespectful. Please get yourself away from this man before he hurts you further.

eatplaycrush · 2015-02-03T02:44:24+00:00

You can pass the tests if he is who you want to be with long term and accept him for who he is.

every day of my life I am tested by my SO in multiple ways. He wouldn't be with someone who didn't pass most of his tests and he wouldn't be with someone who was too weak to handle the constant testing either. He is who he is and this took me a good two years to really come to terms with. We have discussed our plans relating to marriage and we do not want to get married, but my SO will still do exactly what yours does if I say I would marry him.

edit: I should add that you also don't always need to be smart enough to know they're tests, but it helps with the anxiety. I know my SO is just fishing to watch my emotional response when he does something like above to see if I am truly okay with not being married.

pcadrian · 2015-02-03T03:10:52+00:00

Our bedroom life, on the whole, is very satisfying for him. I crave sex much more often than he does. Instead of chasing him for sex, I excuse myself or wait for a moment alone to take care of myself, rather than ask for sex and get rejected.

Fix that. Has he actually rejected you? There are plenty of times when I'm not horny at all, but my girl is. All it takes is for her to kiss me lustfully and touch my Private a little, after which fun times follow. If she did what you are doing, which is taking care of "herself" without even trying, I'd be VERY disappointed with her. You don't have to ask for sex, though you can get surely away with that because you're a woman. Initiate it through your actions. Start kissing him and touching his dick through his pants. Thank me later.

I really need advice on keeping up with my boyfriend, especially when he plays mind games with me. What can I do? It feels like he's doing mental circles around me.

Why does that bother you? Doesn't matter, it's really not an issue, rather a good thing. Be grateful it's happening, and you don't have a boring predictable relationship. He sounds a lot like me, I love messing around with my SO. The thing you said about marriage, I've done that before, and she's like "yeah of course I do..." and then she gets a very big warm hug from me. The jealousy thing... I don't really need to run dread game as she does it all to herself (I'm in school surrounded by beautiful women). If she gets jealous, she tells me, and I reassure her, so I guess that's where your boyfriend and I differ.

All in all, this messing around makes our relationship more fun for both of us, by making things unpredictable, and her reactions are always SO DARN CUTE I can't stand it. Once in a while she'll one-up me and take me by surprise, and that's fun. But if she were to do it all the time, and try and "match" and compete with me, I'd find that very unattractive, and I'd get bored. It would be obvious she'd be trying too hard, and not being herself.

Just a note... everyone who calls these things "mind games" don't know what they are talking about. Listen to what Aerobus has to say, his response is the only one that has some depth and real insight.

Title	How to keep up with my SO?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	25
Date	February 3, 2015 1:42 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2ul4zf/how_to_keep_up_with_my_so/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-keep-up-with-my-so.166054 https://theredarchive.com/post/166054

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