A woman kept treating me with dreamy eyes only when she needed a favor so I blew her off the last time. Now she goes around telling others I'm weird. wtf?

lietruth · 2017-01-17T18:29:14+00:00

Is it normal for women to act like this?

Nothing ever surprises me about women anymore. It's normal for them to do anything. The more crazy the more normal it seems.

Yeah it's clear she was using you as her orbiter for help with her work. Then when you put your foot down, she got butthurt about it. Just move on, don't try and understand the behaviour of a child. Embrace the child, laugh and see the child for what she is.

NibblyPig · 2017-01-17T19:51:06+00:00

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Briffault#Briffault.27s_Law

Briffault is known for what is called Briffault's Law:

The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place. — Robert Briffault, The Mothers, Vol. I, p.

In following, there are 3 corollaries:

Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association.
Any agreement where the male provides a current benefit in return for a promise of future association is null and void as soon as the male has provided the benefit.
A promise of future benefit has limited influence on current/future association, with the influence inversely proportionate to the length of time until the benefit will be given and directly proportionate to the degree to which the female trusts the male.

The corollaries seem to be spot on for your description.

RunawayGrain · 2017-01-17T19:21:37+00:00

Yes, you effectively rejected her. Now her hamster has to come up with something against you to protect her ego.

DeadSpool · 2017-01-17T20:11:18+00:00

Textbook female behaviour, I don't see what the confusion is.

quicklogaccount · 2017-01-17T19:33:59+00:00

Is it normal for women to act like this?

Well, it is. Also, the way she looks at it, she is right.
Her behavior towards you didn't change, but your behavior towards her changed.
Under no circumstances she'll ever consider how you perceive her behavior, nor your effort. She just thought "things were always like that", and to some extent, that she deserved your previous behavior because you already behaved that way.

TooMuchToDoo · 2017-01-17T21:59:02+00:00

She was trying to justify in her head why you would do such a thing. In her mind, she is clearly not the problem. Therefore, what could be the problem? It must be you-- you must have changed somehow. You were helping her before, and now all of a sudden you're not anymore for no apparent reason?? That's, like, super weird.

To answer your question, yes, it's normal. take it in stride.

WhorehouseVet · 2017-01-17T19:12:37+00:00

File a sexual harassment complaint against her. It'd be consistent with both your public behavior. "I didn't want to pursue it, but she's spreading nasty rumors about me. I just want to set the record straight."

Borsao66 · 2017-01-17T19:30:11+00:00

You poked the validation hamster and got gossip'd about?

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and all that bullshit.

[deleted] · 2017-01-17T21:27:08+00:00

It's like she totally rearranged her perception of reality the moment I stopped helping her more than necessary

You're sort of on the right track with this, but you're looking at it from the wrong perspective. She's worried about the change in perception of others.

Social status/power is everything to women. Illustrations of said power is a form of currency for them. It isn't entirely clear from your post what was happening, but appears to be the following. You were her bitch and people knew it. When you stopped being her bitch she needed to save face against the possible fallout of her losing power over you by preempting it as she's distancing herself from you because you become "weird."

It could also be that she actually liked you and feels as though your new attitude is a form a rejection and he's engaging in sour grapes.

SisyphosOnTop · 2017-01-17T21:34:19+00:00

From Robert Briffault Wiki:

Primitive society, like many savage societies of our own time, was probably strictly matriarchal. The mother was the head of the family. ...What masculine authority there was resided in the mother's brother. He was the man of the family, and to him the children yielded respect and obedience. Their father, at best, was simply a pleasant friend who fed them and played with them; at worst, he was an indecent loafer who sponged on the mother. They belonged, not to his family, but to their mother's. As they grew up they joined their uncle's group of hunters, not their father's. This matriarchal organization of the primitive tribe, though it finds obvious evidential support in the habits of higher animals, has been questioned by many anthropologists, but of late one of them, Briffault, demonstrated its high probability in three immense volumes [The Mothers: A Study of the Origins of Sentiments and Institutions]. It is hard to escape the cogency of his arguments, for they are based upon an almost overwhelming accumulation of facts. They not only show that, in what we may plausibly assume about the institutions of early man and in what we know positively about the institutions of savages today, the concepts inseparable from a matriarchate color every custom and every idea: they show also that those primeval concepts still condition our own ways of thinking and doing things, so that "the societal characters of the human mind" all seem to go back "to the functions of the female and not to those of the male." Thus it appears that man, in his remote infancy, was by no means the lord of creation that he has since become."

another_lease · 2017-01-18T16:36:58+00:00

This is a narcissist woman.

They are constantly on the look-out for betas to use.

You did the right thing, though I might have made plausible excuses not to help her out instead of blowing her off.

You now need to keep frame when people say things about you, and act like it doesn't bother you.

Gawernator · 2017-01-18T07:13:47+00:00

Had a similar thing happen, this is pretty normal. I stopped being a nice guy years ago for a female coworker who always needed help doing stuff, and she flipped out.

AttackOnKvothe · 2017-01-18T09:18:16+00:00

A woman will only interact with a man of perceived equal or lower SMV if she is seeking material aid, or similar.

Never will a woman have any interaction with someone different from Alpha Chad in hopes of seeking true intimacy, only for material, fast gains, like money, help, etc etc...

If a woman approaches you, and the distinction of Your SMV > Her SMV is not clear, you better be wary and on your toes, as she could very well want your dick, as your wallet or similar.

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