Should a girl know everything?

fnordsnord · 2016-10-31T19:13:27+00:00

How do I put this? I should be subtle, and choose my words with exquisite precision and care.

KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT ON THE SUBJECT OF YOUR HISTORY!

I don't care if you have the history of Snow White, or the history of All Seven Dwarves on a Weekend Pass in Tokyo.

What came before is NONE OF HER DAMN BUSINESS.

Further - they don't want to know. They may THINK they want to know, but they don't. You are far more attractive when they can imaging your dashing, studly history. Actually KNOWING it makes it sordid.

But it doesn't sound to me as if she's asking. From my read, YOU are having trouble dealing with your guilt at having made immoral choices, and are hoping that she will give you some kind of absolution if you confess.

Dude. YOU made the choices. YOU banged the hookers. Why the FUCK should that be HER problem? She's not responsible for your choices. YOU are. Own them. You picked up that load, YOU carry it.

In what way will unburdening yourself on her make her feel good about you, herself, or ya'll's relationship.

This is YOUR load. YOU lift it and YOU carry it.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2016-10-31T21:26:09+00:00

You have the right to remain silent.

Srsly. STFU. What good could possibly come of this.

Side note: There are a lot of guys in their 40s and 50s who confess affairs from the distant past or whatever to "get it off their chest" only to find themselves divorce raped when all they had to do was keep quiet.

You make your own decisions and you live with them, even if that means taking them to the grave.

mgfowler · 2016-10-31T17:34:13+00:00

Don't tell her.

quicklogaccount · 2016-10-31T18:55:12+00:00

Let's put it like this.

She told you. She made you feel bad about how non valuable she is and how non valuable you are for her because she doesn't think you're good enough for ass.
If you tell, she'll feel bad about how non valuable you are and it's not like you can give your ass to solve the issue.

Telling won't help her (provided you don't do it again). It'll just hurt her.

Now, if you ask me, the crap that motivated you acting like that isn't solved and will blow your LTR up, in which case, it's better to quit sooner.

Thizzlebot · 2016-10-31T19:12:01+00:00

LOL FUCK NO. Remember this: Anytime you argue with a woman she will use ALL information available to hurt you. If you think it could be used against you don't tell her SHIT. Women aren't your friends and confidants lol.

Austin-tatious · 2016-10-31T17:43:10+00:00

Don't tell her. And as a general rule, the less women actually know about you, the better. You want to keep a bit of a mystery about you. If she presses you hard on your history, apply the shit test methodologies.

abc69 · 2016-10-31T21:14:25+00:00

First of all, she is not telling you everything. When women give you a number of men they slept with, you can multiply that number by 5 to start getting close to the real number, women don't like to seem like skanks but they are.

Second, your past is your secret but I would tell her what I did in a jokingly manner if she asks again, my answer would be like this: "Yeah, I fucked 6 prostitutes before I found you. Are you gonna shut up now or do you want to know more?"

That way she will think you are joking but if she asks if you are serious just tell her yes in a stoic manner (you should give 0 fucks about her feelings), she will never be completely sure if you are being honest, and that keeps her guessing, they like mystery.

smallzybiggs · 2016-10-31T21:53:20+00:00

Everything anyone has ever done in their past cannot be altered, removed, highlighted, modified, etc etc.

There is no benefit for you or for anyone to know this information without you feeling trust to pass this along.

Secondly, all those things defined who you are now. do you consider yourself now as capable? strong? smart? confident? or whatever narrative that makes you feel good about yourself?

Lost of negative things happen to people that are stepping stones for their growth. It took them DECADES to realize what happened shaped them and took even longer for them to find peace in it for themselves.

The moment you put this information out for others to lay in their two cents they will not understand, its is also none of their business.

It is not about lying or the fact that you have to match what she opened up with. You can but be very general and only extract things that have to do with your growth.

If you fucked prostitutes and want to tell her about it the context doesnt matter you say you were seeing a girl or some girls in your youth and what you thought had foundation turned out to be people using you or admit you made mistakes with your self esteem and whatever shit you wanna drum up that is a truth but you ont throw yourself under the bus.

Truth is ugly and real and most women live in some delusional fantasy land that cannot comprehend it anyway.

Nergaal · 2016-10-31T21:59:44+00:00

because she refused to have anal with me, even though she had it with her ex.

This is the worst part of your story. If she had but she refuses you it means she is alpha-widowed. You are already losing, and telling her any of what you listed will hurry up the end.

IVIaskerade · 2016-11-01T15:38:23+00:00

You're in the army now, son. Don't ask, don't tell.

If it's weighing on your conscience then buck up. You're a man and this is your cross to bear.

Title	Should a girl know everything?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	47
Date	October 31, 2016 5:20 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5adkiw/should_a_girl_know_everything/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/should-a-girl-know-everything.183445 https://theredarchive.com/post/183445

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