25F seeking advice from TRP community

thewrightstuff88 · 2013-10-31T03:48:12+00:00

Its understandable, you want to be successful, make a difference, especially since you have a personal connection to such a career decision. Yet, we are all responsible for the decisions we make, men and women alike.

For me, as a grad student, seeing my peers go out, go on vacation, enjoy happy hours, parties, etc, while I have an exam to study for or school work to do is hard but its the sacrifice I made and had to come to terms with.

For you, your not just sacrificing your freedom during your 20s, but also your potential as a wife and mother, especially since making adequate money will still take time after the 4 years in medical school. Even after you're making enough money, you may not have enough time to develop a good relationship that can lead to marriage and children.

The red pill is is about male sexual strategy and its identity in modern times and how concepts of feminism is hurting it. You are wise in the sense that you actually logically realize the predicament you're in while many women do not. Instead, you value relationships and don't sleep around, which can definitely help you out and tells me that you realize the value of a good relationship.

If I were you, I would date around a time in medical school when things are not as crazy, perhaps your last year. If not, then immediately afterwards, and take it seriously, don't waste your time, just find a high value man who treats you properly (key here is properly, not worships you, etc, but makes you feel like you need to add value into his life as much as he adds value into yours). Also make sure he doesn't feel intimidated by you either, considering the amount of money you'll be bringing to the table.

Honestly, and not trying to be downgrading or anything, but the sooner you realize your SMV (see the sidebar in r/theredpill) is at a point where decline is or has already started so you have to move quick and make the right decision as soon as you can.

I hope more women out there become as insightful as you and understand what life is like nowadays. good luck

frequentlywrong · 2013-10-31T11:01:00+00:00

You understand your predicament. Hats off to you. Few women nowadays think that far and do not realize the reality of their lives before it's too late.

You are absolutely right you are running out of time. At 25 your looks are still good. But with every passing year less and less guys will be interested in you. Not only that, your busy schedule encourages terrible eating habits and little physical exercise.

A doctor in his thirties is an amazing catch for a woman. A female doctor in her thirties is a terrible catch for a man. She will likely make more money and spend a ton of time at work, leaving him emasculated at home with kids. A man wants to provide for his family, just like the woman wants to raise her family. Switching gender roles has led to a lot of misery for a lot of people.

Your best option is to find your husband at school. Finding one after 30 will leave you with very few options. Your single male colleagues are going to go after hot 20 year olds.

PizzaOnEarth · 2013-10-31T14:34:40+00:00

OP - I work in the medical field. I know a lot of successful women doctors. My boss is a cardiologist in her 50's, and a leader in her field. There are a lot of smart women around here.

None of them have good home lives.

However, there is one type of doctor that consistently has a good home life.

The 30 hour a week flaky OB/GYN or pediatrician. And the entire medical community hates this person, because she is LITERALLY wasting a medical degree by acting as less than half of a real doctor.

Have a good home life or have a successful and respected medical career. Or hope that you find your unicorn.

Futsushi · 2013-10-31T06:45:54+00:00

Looks like you are understanding RP just fine. One of the key things that many of those who find themselves 30 and alone miss is that they had plenty of time in their 20's to settle down and get married, but the instead wasted it on casual flings.

As someone who is still relatively inexperienced, it will show when you begin dating. Also, those who have taken similar paths will also be in the same pool (this might explain why I know so many Med Dr. Couples).

[deleted] · 2013-10-31T14:32:52+00:00

Have you looked at /r/redpillwomen ?

steadymotion · 2013-10-31T03:42:45+00:00

You're understanding the red pill just fine.

Yeah, you are running out of time. You're in a tough spot.

Somehow secure yourself a red pill man as soon as possible, I suppose. You'd better be ready to prove how good of a wife you'll be. Most red pill men will be very hesitant to get married.

JimmyTheIntern · 2013-10-31T16:39:57+00:00

If a family is more important to you than a career, then you should have made that choice accordingly.

I don't want to be another 30 year old "successful" working woman with nothing to go home to.

What did you expect? You're training to be a doctor, not a kindergarten teacher. And short of telling you to take a time machine back before you applied for medical school, what advice did you think you would get, other than "Better figure out your priorities because you're running out of time."

You're going to have to sacrifice your career if you want a family, which means finding an affluent man who wants to help pay off a late 20's part-time doctor's exorbitant medical school debt, rather than finding himself a young, debt free woman who wants to be a full time mother. Good luck.

[deleted] · 2013-10-31T18:13:08+00:00

Head over to /r/redpillwoman and you'll find a thread about a financial powerhouse woman who pays the bills but defers to her house husband who is still alpha in the relationship and makes the final decisions.

Personally, if I could find that arrangement I could live with that. I think that it's the deferment of authority that is key in red pill relationships. The challenge for you is if you can achieve that with a man with less earning potential or not...or if he can deal with that reality.

If you're worried about the time to find that guy, my girlfriend's prenatal doctor is a smokeshow, young, charming....and married. I don't know her relationship dynamic but she got that far.

magicalbird · 2013-10-31T18:30:04+00:00

Online dating since a few of my female friends in their mid 20s had success with that.

For decent looking females that can quickly filter out the stupid messages and find the quality messages, it can help your love life.

Nemester · 2013-10-31T16:26:32+00:00

I imagine you can get a mail order husband if things don't work out in time. The thing is you need to keep your hypergamy in check. Realize you made your bed and now you need to lie in it. It is unlikely you will find a man who makes as much as a doctor, because that guy is going to go for a young hot 20 year old and not give you the time of day. So realize you aren't going to get everything you want. Go for good enough.

Just so you know, I hate that women are fast tracked into becoming doctors. It is hugely expensive for society to train doctors, and women way too often quit after a short time, or work only part. That is a huge waste of resources and human capital. It also creates a huge problem for everyone who needs to be seen by doctors and can't because there is a shortage. Women are too fickle to be as large a percentage of new doctors as they are now.

RPstudent · 2013-10-31T17:12:23+00:00

I won't sugar coat this, you're essentially screwed.

At 25, you are at the age where your objective sexual marketplace value is going to soon be in decline, thus diminishing your overall attractiveness to the higher value men.

Second, your debt load will be significant even after graduation, which will be a anti-marriage red flag to many men who correctly recognize that via marriage, your obligations become theirs.

Next, you will have minimal time to engage in relationships for the reasons you already noted.

Finally, you believed the lie feminism insidiously tells girls/young women, "you can have it all." Sadly, you can't.

You have one advantage - you identified this now and are still young enough to come up with strategies to mitigate the peril. But make no mistake, you are in terrible peril.

Start now looking for ways to reduce the overall debt burden you are carrying. Minimize expenses, find passive revenue sources (online hustles and the like) where possible and in general work to reduce the debt you'll have to pay for the rest of your life.

Next, make the determination which is more important. Do you want to be a doctor or do you want to do something else with your life? It sounds like you are already regretting your decision to go to med school and pile up the debt. If that's so why would you choose to throw more good time, effort and money chasing what you no longer want. I get that you have so much debt and feel like you have to finish this, but for whom are you making that choice? you? Someone else and their expectations? If the choice is for anyone else, you'll regret it.

drrrrrr · 2013-10-31T08:31:12+00:00

Never use your career / studies as an excuse for not doing what you want to do. You're right, you've put the money in, so you might as well get the degree. Beyond that, you're life is yours to life. You don't have to be a workaholic to produce enough income to make back your debt and create a decent living.

You have be a workaholic to be in the top %, to make the real killing, but that doesn't seem like your goal - you will not become a top tier surgeon if you're heart is in starting a family. To reach the top, you have to sacrifice it all, and you don't want to sacrifice it all. So set a realistic goal - carve out a comfortable salary after finishing your degree, and having your weekends free to devote to your social life.

It's the same for men and women. Want to be the next Steve Jobs? The next Kobe Bryant? Get to work at a young age and literally do nothing else, and with 100% dedication, you'll get (somewhere close) to there.

For you, you don't want that. You want a balance, to be successful financially and also have plenty of time to put in the work necessary to finding an ideal mate to raise a family with.

[deleted] · 2013-10-31T05:42:39+00:00

Hi!

I come from a family with quite a few female doctors and they ended up fine. One of them needed a nanny to help raise her kids, and she was okay with that and the kids were okay. Another of them quit working when her husband (also an MD) started making enough money to support her and their children. She's happy and the kids are happy too but she wishes she didn't quit work.

Both of these women had husbands who treated them with respect and shared the goal of starting a family and raising healthy, happy kids.

The lady who is at home is happy but regrets that she can't just go back to work and misses working and regrets being so financially dependent on her husband when she went through years of training not to be so. If she could go back, she would have had one kid, a 9-5 job in a doctor's office somewhere (or in a clinic somewhere with good hours), and would be hiring help to do the housework and such with her share of the income. If you are out of practice for an extended period of time, you might regret it. Try to find a specialty with good hours, and be open to hiring help for raising kids or cleaning the house.

While school is still your first priority, finding a man could be the second one. Don't do this in a mad panic. Just go out and make time to meet men. Dress feminine, go places where men are (or try online dating maybe or something), and be sweet and gentle to the guys around you who might make good partners.

And, let's say you don't meet a man until your 30's. Keep your looks intact, act feminine and sweet, etc and you'll stll find someone decent if you don't have crazy expectations. Having an MD will set you apart from other 30+ year old single women because it says "I was too busy to sleep around, I was studying and that is why I am still single".

EDIT:

Also keep house husbands in mind. There's a lady on redpillwomen who has a househusband and for them the dynamic works.

I hope that I make sense. Good luck!

Peteriscoo69 · 2013-10-31T08:26:11+00:00

With any luck you'll be making so much money you wont have to worry about hitting the wall. Definitely stick with it.

Not really TRP advice but as far as meeting other guys goes, if you live close to a major city I would give Tinder a shot. Its a "dating" app for smart phones. It can be addicting and it's perfect if you're looking to have quick, casual meet ups.

NahDudeFkThat · 2013-10-31T09:02:29+00:00

niggas be like

marry a great doctor, and be a great [house]wife to him so that he can make a difference. together you would have technically reached your goal.

remember that hyper-educated and hyper-ambitious women are masculine and at 25 your time is running out as well

nah just fuckin with you... sorta... . .

vampin since since halloween weekend takes a tollllll

[deleted] · Thu Oct 31 5:30:59 2013 UTC

[permanently deleted]

Title	25F seeking advice from TRP community
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	17
Comments	19
Date	October 31, 2013 3:07 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1pl8g3/25f_seeking_advice_from_trp_community/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/25f-seeking-advice-from-trp-community.196352 https://theredarchive.com/post/196352

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