Saying no to bad sex

BluepillProfessor · 2015-02-04T20:21:36+00:00

Be careful with SGM at first. These techniques will melt your mind and hers. Athol Kay (MPBUH) starts with (and unfortunately ends with) doing a "rough sex" experiment with your wife- aka just pounding her a little harder than usual. I say do that the first time, and build from there- certainly before you start choking, Church Sex, play-raping, or a Baby Rabies fantasy.

do they mean to mentally refuse to settle for bad sex and work to improve it? Or both, even?

What? There is conflicting advice in the manosphere? Say it isn't so!

This is one of many manosphere ideas with conflicting advice but the advice conflicts because it depends. It depends on the relationship and most of all who YOU are.

If you are in a low sex marriage then the word is to take what you can get. Fill her with some of that delicious baby batter and a healthy dose of male hormones every chance you get.

If you are a play-yuh picking up babes with a choice? Nasty, disease ridden skank offering up bad sex. Hell yes you turn that down. If you are a man getting all the sex you want in a marriage I would turn down the half ass effort as well. Until then, take what you can get and work on making the 'bad' sex into "GOOD" sex (Hint: It depends on you. If you are horny and throw her around like a rag doll it is usually "good").

alphabeta49 · 2015-02-04T19:51:16+00:00

I'm not sure how things like sexy texts will be received at the beginning.

My two cents: sexy texts, the 10-second kiss, drive-by groping, playfulness... All should be done with outcome independence. I do these things because I want to and I find her sexy. Ultimately, unless she gives me a reason to withhold affection (a.k.a. shit tests), I don't care whether she pretends* she's disgusted by my horniness. The truth is in the panties: it works and sooner or later I escalate and get mine.

*because wet, sloppy results.

EDIT: I'm a long way from perfection, but this is my method and its working well so far.

RedPillDad · 2015-02-04T21:52:08+00:00

Go for quantity in the beginning. Expect her to push back when she isn't in mood at first. You will work to the point when NO is unacceptable. It takes time

alpha_n3rd · 2015-02-05T00:43:10+00:00

"Never turn down sex from your wife" means don't reject her immediately if she initiates. Keep escalating until it becomes identifiably bad sex, and then stop, mid-stroke if necessary.

spexer · 2015-02-04T21:15:58+00:00

I would not say no to bad sex, but rather make a note mentally how YOU could improve it next time. As for what you do... You need variety- the V in DEVI from SGM.

But beyond that, Let me differ from others to say that there is a physical medical situation where women do not get that wet, so don't think you are not arousing her. (or that it is not all you)

In the same vein, there is a danger here where some people could push their sexual envelope into activities they might not be into, in hopes to attract their wife the 'red pill way'. I would hate for anyone to feel obligated to slap/choke/etc...

I also recommend you do not ask for sex. That conversation is very blue pill.

Instead send a few texts or whisper in her ear how much you want her, how you cant wait to get her alone, etc. This is not to feel things out and give her an out. This is to set expectations as you lead.

tbornott · 2015-02-05T11:29:53+00:00

Anyway, we have a very deeply-ingrained pattern to our sexual encounters: we usually discuss having sex verbally in some way (i.e., she or I will say "wanna have sex?"). If yes, we do the following, every time: we make out for a while, I might play with her clit with my hand for a few minutes, then I lube up and we fuck. She says she can't get wet anymore after pregnancy, but what I've read leads me to believe I'm just not getting her wet.

Might have described me and my wife here. I have some insane mental block about dominance in bedroom. I read the SGM and kind of skipped the dominance part first. Then came back to it and thought, this guy really think it is important. So I figured I have to try something.

That night she was on her worst bleed day of the month and that gave me courage to try something. I mean I could always back out and did not really have to go through with it. Backdoor for me you see. I went upstairs and my wife was reading in bed. Did not say anything, just removed the book and mounted her. I pinned her hands and gave her a kiss. She tried to move her hands, but I just pushed them harder above her head. Then she started to kiss me, but the situation ended when she begged for me to stop for tonight.

Two days later I was pounding her with all my might. Holding her down by her hair and pinning hands to the bed. She was moaning which hardly ever happens. Now she calls sex "violence" and told me that I am a predator sneaking up on prey. So thanks reddit.

I don't know dude.

J_Incognito · 2015-02-05T16:54:18+00:00

I’ve considered the OP’s exact question before. As background, I’m mid-30s, married 9 years w/ two young kids. This is my approach.

I now view my wife’s sexuality as a 1-100 scale. The higher I am towards the top the better the sex will be. How do I get to the top? Lift, dress better, IOIs from other women, take charge at home, squash her shit tests, outcome independence, prime her pump (mid-day texts, 10sec kiss), and fuck her good (the SGM works). Sex (and most other things for women) is emotional, not physical.

How do I decrease my standing? Talking about having sex, covert contracts, pouting after rejection and – essentially – begging for it. Every time I did this, I could see my score dropping. At my worst, I’d bitch about how it’d been _____ since we last had sex – my initiation efforts consisted of turning off the TV and rolling to her side of the bed. She’d sometimes eventually comply only to shut me up. This was duty sex and another chore for her. Honestly, I don’t care whether it’s missionary, doggy, BJs, or whatever – her enthusiasm and energetic participation is what makes it good. Bad sex is bad because there’s zero enthusiasm.

So, back to the OP’s question. First, do the things above to raise your score. Then, initiate hard and physically. If you get shot down, live to fight another day. Like the military, you need realtime reconnaissance. If it looks like you’re headed towards duty sex, it can be OK if you’ve got a high score (and can sustain the hit) and she still wants to please her man – she’ll manufacture some enthusiasm; but, if you’ve got a low score, you’re just digging a deeper hole for yourself. Humping a disinterested mannequin is a massive DLV – just pull out and lie there for a min. If there’s any sliver of attraction, she’ll ask what’s wrong (“that’s doing nothing for me”) and she’ll offer to up her effort – engage SGM. If you don’t even get that, get up and leave the room.

There’s no relational equity (see Rational Male) and you’re only as good as your last couple of weeks. When I’m on top of my game, I have the full menu of enthusiastic and energetic sex. I know when I’ve been slipping and engage accordingly.

NotABibleScholar · 2015-02-05T19:21:01+00:00

Bad sex comes in a variety of forms. Looks like solid advice around, if your talking just duty sex, you should turn it down once in awhile. Its not normally like this for me, but recently I had a situation where I initiated and she was tired, so she said "I'm tired can you just get it over with" .... This is not normal, I just looked at her and without missing a beat stated... No thanks, I'll wait for another time, I'd rather enjoy it. Kissed her forehead and rolled over to sleep. It only took maybe 10 minutes before she was waking me up and was much more enthusiastic.

WingsnLV · 2015-02-17T19:37:50+00:00

Look man, it isn't as complicated as all that. You have to just assert that the sex is happening sometimes. Today my wife went into our room to work on the computer and I got the kids to do an activity, locked the door to our room and even though she initially said no, I started taking my pants off. She came around and we had a very satisfying round for both of us. If I would have tried some sort of bargaining or negotiation, she wouldn't have been into it. Sometimes you have to assert yourself sexually. She needs to know that you are going to make it happen. And don't get sex by pawing at her in a pathetic kind of way. Get it by just going for it.

Title	Saying no to bad sex
Author	intellectual_zombie
Upvotes	14
Comments	42
Date	February 4, 2015 6:53 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2us5hr/saying_no_to_bad_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/saying-no-to-bad-sex.202571 https://theredarchive.com/post/202571

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