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Let's Talk About MRP with Kids

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March 16, 2018
8 upvotes

Ive asked questions before, got answers and have been working hard but I'm stuck on the point below.

I have two kids, one 2.5yrs old girl and 1.5yrs old boy, I love my kids, they bring me happiness, and I take a great deal of pride in raising them. I am emotionally invested in my children and I don't feel it is blue pull of me to have this paternal love for them.

With that out of the way and shifting focus toward the main goal of MRP, "Sexual Strategy" by being an awesome man. I request some guidance on managing your own needs against those of your children.

I get off work at 5, pickup kids by 6, workout M-W-F in the basement (my 2.5yr old daughter watches and plays while I lift). Dinner shortly after, which is a mixed bag (leading my wife to healthy food has been a challenge - she likes food... and it shows). On off evenings, before dinner, I make it a point to get outside with the kids as much as possible, be it cleaning the garage, going for a walk, talking about nature - and my wife likes to tag along.

We then give the kiddos a bath together (luckily they are still at the age where they are still pretty oblivious of each other's naughty bits). Then it's bedtime: my wife and I each take a kid and chill on the couch and read or watch some sitcom until my daughter requests to go to bed (usually 30mins or so). I'll take her up and wait for her to be fully zonked out and sneak out the door. (Yes I know this isn't the perfect bedtime ritual) done by 8-8:30.

My wife often is busy being a couch potato. Or trying to fit in a shower (makes me angry)

This leaves 2-3 hrs where Im up busting my ass to get things up to speed around the house, shower, groom, then get to bed by 10:30-11 and up by 6am to get kids up and ready for work by 8am.

I'm not looking for a pity party relief. I'm not asking, "so when's the pussy coming?" I'm not getting laid, does it bother me, sure a little, but she's not really attracting me too much (beached whale).

She also has a shit attitude toward me "not sure if she is resentful or what", but it's hard to really even want anything to do with her... Shes not really the girl I want to hang out with anymore, her attitude: shitty, her goals: none, her self-respect: none.

I know I need to lead her, but by example isn't doing the trick. My kids favor me, and I don't know what to tell her when she bitches about it other than, "I'm the shit".

Any advice is appreciated.


Post Information
Title Let's Talk About MRP with Kids
Author MRP_Padawan
Upvotes 8
Comments 40
Date 16 March 2018 10:05 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204714
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/84z8wx/lets_talk_about_mrp_with_kids/
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Comments

[–]The_LitzRed Beret5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Young kids consume a lot of time. Do not see it as a burden, they grow up quick and you will miss your babies when they grow up.

Live in the moment you are in.

As for the wife, yeah, I can see the picture. Tired, complaining and just existing day to day.

Leadership and increasing your SMV are your tools here. She knows you won't leave as you show great commitment to your kids. There is zero dread.

Right now I would increase Dread, get out more. You have to actively plan to get out. She has to realise you are the prize and that you have options. Right now she sees a butler hanging around the house, no Dread, no tingles.

Do you have options for baby sitters?

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have a couple options, I'm curious though to how that will help. Are you implying taking ym wife out?

[–]The_LitzRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jip, take her out. It sounds like you are in a work-home-sleep rut. No time for anything.

Every thing revolves around the kids at that age. Take her out, not necessarily a dinner date, just some time out from the kids.

Keep things exciting. I don't like the term date night. It sets up all kind of expectations on both sides. Time together is all you need.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

How many nights per week are you getting out of the house?

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

  1. I take some time in my basement gym each night but that isn't inspiring any dread. I'm not sure what if do by myself., I know that sounds lame, but it's true. I don't drink so bars aren't really my forte.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get out of the house 3 nights a week.

Go to where men are.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You don't need to go to bars.

There are many alternatives. If you are at a loss as what to do check out Meetup for events in your city. Contrary to what it sounds like, it is not a dating site. Go check it out, there will be something for you.

The basement gym sounds efficient, but I find going to an actual gym better for me. I would like a home gym as a backup as my gym is close to my work, which is a 40 minute drive.

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

My city is 1200 people lol I'll check it out though.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

"City"

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pick up a martial art like boxing, muay thai, or BJJ.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Is your wifewhale a SAHM or does she work? If she works, does she make real money or is this a fuck around job?

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She makes 15k less than me and I make ~70k a year.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Leadership, self Improvement, lol.

Fat lazy SAHM glad to have such a strong man to finger fuck her phone.

You can clearly work without her, why doesn't she know that? Why don't you?

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

She's not a SAHM, she works a 9hr day as well, same hours except I go in an hour later, so I get the kids ready.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do you both sleep?

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah?

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tag team by taking your kids away rather than doing much of the parenting together. Take total ownership of all of your time with your kids and strongly differentiate from your wife; be dominant Dad, not assistant mom like you are now. Do highly energetic activities with them so that they crash quickly, giving you more time to go out afterward or get other things done.

[–]2ndalRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Then it's bedtime: my wife and I each take a kid and chill on the couch and read or watch some sitcom until my daughter requests to go to bed (usually 30mins or so).

This stuck out to me. You're letting your 2.5 year old daughter tell you when she wants to go to bed? This is not leadership. She's 2.5 years old for fucks sake. My son is 6 and he knows damn well by this time when bed time is. Doesn't matter if he's not tired, he's in bed doing his own thing every night at bed time.

How else are you letting others schedule your time?

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good fucking point

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

“managing your own needs against those of your children”.

Retarded. Two different things. Fuck in the morning.

“Requests to go to bed”

Retarded. Set a fucking bedtime.

“Waiting until she zonks out and then sneak out”

Retarded. Read a book or two, say I love you, walk the fuck out. Will take some training since you set this one up like a faggot.

“Resentful”

Yes, because you are a faggot.

I can tell that you are way too nice. You give her so much love, support, and a great provider. You love your kids.

None of those things gives her tingles.

You couldn’t get another woman wet if you tried faggot.

Sidebar ===>

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Any specific re-reading?

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

“No more mr nice guy” read it twice.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Have you ever sucked a man’s dick?

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao no.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Then it's bedtime: my wife and I each take a kid and chill on the couch and read or watch some sitcom until my daughter requests to go to bed (usually 30mins or so).

You are a fucking faggot. 30 mins is likely two hours, just like you are probably 50 pounds overweight.

Spend this time reading a fucking book to them, and set a good example.

You are a couch potato, so is she. And you are raising two brand new TV addicted couch potatoes.

Your kids favor you becuase you are a kid yourself. You are not acting like an adult. You are not cultivating their success, or their knowledge.

You are a pathetic excuse for a captain, man and you are letting the TV raise your family.

Dont even get me started on the whole "I have to lay in the kids bed while they fall asleep bit"

My advice, is to stop being a pussy.

I will not even address your wife issues. We do not need you actually getting your dick wet and producing another kid to raise in this shitty environment.

Come at me bro.

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/6wrn2l/extreme_oys_and_paying_it_forward_go_coach_kids/

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

No need to come at you just some further details I assume you're looking for. I read the Kindle to my daughter while she falls asleep right now I'm reading Pandemic, she's 2.5 so I don't think she'll get the references to Ebola.

I don't believe I am a couch potato, your assumption that I'm sitting there for 2hrs is based on your past experience with guys on this sub, and rightly so. The TV is off aside from my wife watching it. I really don't get into it all that much, not into sports - I used to do call of duty for an hour or so a night, but cut that shit out after posting about it here the last time.

I agree I'm probably a pathetic captain, however, I feel I spend too much time with my kids compared to others in this sub with kids.

Thank you for the advice about not being a moist piece of womanhood - I most surely am not trying to be, but I can see how I'm being soft and tender.

I am going to go fourth and read your post as I feel that the extreme ownership is probably right up the creek I need to follow with the kids.

[–]johneyapocalypse0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

First of all, I must acknowledge this:

Come at me bro.

That was great.

Second, what do you mean by this:

I feel I spend too much time with my kids compared to others in this sub with kids.

Shit man, I feel like I don't spend enough time with my kids and I'm a not-so-great or at least not-the-best-I-can-be dad as a result. I don't understand your concern?

Edit: I'm going back to re-read your post. I'll admit that I'm struggling with similar issues - I think. I want to get out, often, and I do get out often with my kids, but I also went to get out often without my kids. I am setting up my son's boy scout troop which is cool. Anyway I'll check back I'm kind of confused.

Why does your wife taking a shower make you angry? Do you want her to smell like a caveman?

Okay, so you're talking apples and I'm talking oranges. I'm basically challenged by spending as much quality time with my kids while also managing the responsibilities of life and career. It sounds like you're just complaining because (1) you have a bunch of kids and (2) your fat-ass wife is getting fatter, heading towards "beached whale" status - your words not mine, while (3) you're not getting any ass.

For me, the challenge is harder. Why? Because I already (1) own my shit, (2) lift, (3) lift, (4) lift, (5) eat well, (6) walk/run/bike/swim, (7) hang out with friends, (8) do naughty things like stay out too late with ex-models every now and again, (9) romance my wife when applicable, and (10) generally ensure that the sum total of my universe - me - is kicking ass - all while trying to be the best dad I can be.

So figuring out how to spend even more quality time with my kids (i.e. setting up a boyscout troop) is somewhat akin to choosing to sleep less and do more, which isn't always fun or easy. Fuck. Did I just complain?

Your case is easy. Focus on you. Fuck everything else. Of course make sure your children are fed, clothed, and cared for, but hell man, if your wife is more interested in tv dinners then more power to you.

You do you while she does the bakery section of the local grocery store.

Hell's bells I still don't understand what you mean by this:

I feel I spend too much time with my kids compared to others in this sub with kids.

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

There is never enough context to be given. My kids are young - by too much time I mean, i, solely get them ready in the am fed them. In the evening, I cook 85% of the time and incorporate my daughter into it amap. After dinner my wife and I bathe the kids together, then we get them ready for bed together, then we get them sleeping together. By then it's 8-8:30pm. At this time she showers, while I'm getting dishes done from the dinner we had and she'll then get the coffee ready (like that compares) and I'll positively reinforce the behavior by giving her attention, (a smooch and say thanks) I don't dare push further because she'd shove me off for acting like a molester (I've tried goofing it off even - going as far as getting my pee coat on with no other clothes and when she came back out flashing her and saying, "That was creepy, but this is what I wear out daily." point is she's just not into me in my current state).

Of course I want my wife to shower - not angry about it just trying to see my complete daily itenerary, I guess to explain (excuse/rationalize) my lack of time. I asked for help in hopes some of the MRP community would share an average itenerary of theirs (I should have asked directly i guess you could see this as a covert contract in that I assumed this would happen, but deep down I should have known to be more direct).

Point is, I need help. I've been on this road for far too long and always skip back to blue pill conditioning. You know how people who exercise and don't see the weight fall off after months of hard work only to find out that they've been eating 300cal in ranch dressing and 150cal in coffee creamer pushing them to maintenance instead of a cut? I feel like an Ebola Dr. Trained to the gills, like I fully understand the core framework but when in the field nothing tells you how to deal with "this" scenario. Then I come back here and get crapped on further and pointed at the sidebar once again where I'm supposed to magically pick up on something I didnt get the first time.

When I encounter a challenge I don't know the answer to, I STFU as instructed by MRP, and I look and feel like an idiot because it happens too much. All the while getting rejected once again and this time the knife goes deeper with a, "don't say stuff like that to me, were not in high school or college anymore", then I DEER why it's okay to talk like that and rationalize it by comparing our fucked up situation, that she's blind to, to a seemingly normal relationship that I'm sure she fantacizes about.

Enough diarrhea, you asked and I threw it all out there... There's more, but once again, I don't know what you all need to be able to help me out of this jam.

[–]johneyapocalypse1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Let me reply by occasionally envisioning that your life is my life. What might I have done? What would I do now?


First, why are you (1) solely getting (the kids) ready in the AM, (2) cooking 85% of the time, and then apparently (3) splitting the responsibilities equally at night (though you seem to get the dirty dishes), while also (4) working an extra hour every day at your job?

After dinner my wife and I bathe the kids together, then we get them ready for bed together, then we get them sleeping together.

I would stop doing that as a regular thing. My guess is that it's not particularly unique, fun, or exciting, and that it has instead become like shared chore-play. I would do this with my wife and kids occasionally and it was fun, but as an every day thing I think it's probably not such a good idea, especially since you need to get your ass out of the house occasionally. That is not an easy thing to do, especially with young kids, but you must do it. I did it.

By then it's 8-8:30pm. At this time she showers, while I'm getting dishes done from the dinner we had

Why are you doing all the dishes?

she'll then get the coffee ready (like that compares) and I'll positively reinforce the behavior by giving her attention, (a smooch and say thanks)

Remove the word smooch from your vocabulary. It's a panty-drying word. Hell, it's a man's underwear-drying word. Over time I had that word extinguished from my wife's vocabulary, after, of course, removing it from my own. I remember one day when I wanted to tap her ass hard and she told me to come over for a smooch. I swear I could have become a spree killer in that very moment.

I didn't.

(like that compares)

Comparing what you are doing with what your wife is doing - playing the "equality" game - and quietly simmering - or posting on MRP about the injustice of it all - will get you in trouble. Don't bother seeing who has the bigger muscles, you or your wife, right now we'll assume she does.

I ask about details because I need to better understand.

----- DANGER ZONE ------------>

I don't dare push further because she'd shove me off for acting like a molester (I've tried goofing it off even - going as far as getting my pee coat on with no other clothes and when she came back out flashing her and saying, "That was creepy, but this is what I wear out daily." point is she's just not into me in my current state).

What do you mean you don't dare? Especially as it relates to your wife? I'd like to remind you that you are likely six inches taller than your wife and outweigh her by, what, 50 lbs? You are like a lion to her gazelle.

I'm 6'-2'' and 215 lbs. My wife is 5'-8" and 125 lbs. Do the math and guess how that might turn out. I am 6" taller than her and I outweigh her by nearly 100 lbs. There is literally not one goddamn thing in the known universe I won't dare do as it relates to my wife. Maybe I'm better off not doing something. Maybe I'm wise to avoid. But dare?

Fuck me forty ways 'till Sunday, I won't dare fight a 140-lb dog again. I won't dare challenge a wild gorilla to a fight. I won't dare jump in a great white shark's mouth and try to swim out through his gills.

Dare is not for your wife.

Now, are you saying that you don't dare more than smooch your wife? Is that what you're suggesting right before you segue into creepyville, when you say:

I've tried goofing it off even - going as far as getting my pee coat on with no other clothes.

First, don't do that again. That is creepy. It's okay though, that particular meme has been so overdone on tv, youtube, and the like that I'm not surprised some dumbass, somewhere (you, wherever you live) has occasionally given it a try.

With that said I must focus some special time and attention on this sentence:

I'll positively reinforce the behavior by giving her attention, (a smooch and say thanks) I don't dare push further because she'd shove me off for acting like a molester (I've tried goofing it off even - going as far as getting my pee coat on with no other clothes and when she came back out flashing her and saying, "That was creepy, but this is what I wear out daily." point is she's just not into me in my current state).

If I'm not mistaken you are saying - and I'll paraphrase - that (1) as you are doing the dishes you will (2) "smooch" your wife and (3) say thank you (4) because she has made coffee but you (5) will not do anything more (like put your penis in her vagina) because she (6) would think you were a creepy molester since you (7) once tried pretending to be a creepy molester and she (8) did in fact think you were acting like a creepy molester.

Is that about right?

Point is she's just not into me in my current state.

Why do you think she's not into you? I'm pretty sure I know, but what do you think?

Of course I want my wife to shower - not angry about it just trying to see my complete daily itinerary, I guess to explain (excuse/rationalize) my lack of time.

Remove the "lack of time" excuse from your vocabulary, and moreso, your universal belief system. I did that - on my own no less - in my twenties and it has served me well. You have precisely the same amount of time as anyone else. Now if you choose to utilize that time poorly or you enable another to influence how you spend your time then that is another story.

You asked for an itinerary. Here's mine and it's hell. But I nearly died this past year so I figure my days are numbered anyway and - it's fucking true - I can (and will) sleep when I'm dead.

  • I wake up fucking early.
  • I go to work until fucking late.
  • I sometimes have dinner with my family - we're not great about doing that together enough.
  • I play with my kids and do crazy shit until later - like psycho-bike to the beach at 10pm and go swimming in the pitch dark.
  • I watch a show or read a book with my kids.
  • Occasionally, though not often enough at night, I fuck my wife. She's usually tired by this time.
  • Everyone goes to sleep. Except me. Now I have a couple hours to catch up and get quality alone time.
  • I then go to bed and don't get enough sleep and repeat the drill the next day.

In that time I manage to work out a lot, I get out a lot, I get outside a lot, I spend time - though not that much time - with buddies - and I try to get in my wife's pants.

Point is, I need help. I've been on this road for far too long and always skip back to blue pill conditioning.

No, you don't need help. You have everything you need within you already. Seriously. I get it. Bluepill conditioning. Convenient. I was there once. But then I met something much bigger and scarier and said FUCK THAT and I chose to become a man. You can make that choice too.

It's really that easy. You can strip away all the other words, emotions, behaviors, and everything else. Just...

  • Choose you.
  • Be consistent.
  • Be disciplined.

That's it.

You don't need me or anyone else to give you a roadmap. If you feel like you would benefit from a book or plan or whatever then read the MAP in the sidebar. For the time being you can skip the rest, as long as you're lifting.

I've been on this road for far too long and always skip back to blue pill conditioning. You know how people who exercise and don't see the weight fall off after months of hard work only to find out that they've been eating 300cal in ranch dressing and 150cal in coffee creamer pushing them to maintenance instead of a cut? I feel like an Ebola Dr. Trained to the gills, like I fully understand the core framework but when in the field nothing tells you how to deal with "this" scenario. Then I come back here and get crapped on further and pointed at the sidebar once again where I'm supposed to magically pick up on something I didnt get the first time.

I think I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about but I'm up for the challenge of figuring it out. Once again paraphrasing, I believe you are saying:

  • You've tried this before and failed.
  • You think you've not gotten results because you were inadvertently doing something wrong before.
  • You think you get it in theory, but you're starting to realize that theory sucks ass - acta non verba.
  • You think you have a special scenario - 'not enough time' - and that no one has figured that one out yet.
  • You are sensitive and don't like when the other kids in MRP pick on you.
  • You use the word magically in an effort to gain sympathy when in reality it's completely unnecessary.

How'd I do?

When I encounter a challenge I don't know the answer to, I STFU as instructed by MRP, and I look and feel like an idiot because it happens too much. All the while getting rejected once again and this time the knife goes deeper with a, "don't say stuff like that to me, were not in high school or college anymore", then I DEER why it's okay to talk like that and rationalize it by comparing our fucked up situation, that she's blind to, to a seemingly normal relationship that I'm sure she fantacizes about.

Are you lifting? Give me your stats. Don't fake 'em either. Keep STFUing. Stop being so fucking sensitive. Stop telling yourself (you) look and feel like an idiot, it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy. Start telling yourself you're a fucking man, a big man, a man with potential, and a man who is going to succeed.

Don't DEER. Ever. Just stop it. Skip it one fucking time and just stand there, uncomfortably, as the even-more-uncomfortable silence envelopes you. Learn to like the silence. Learn to love the lack of comfort. Is your wife glowering at you? Good. Learn to love her glower. Learn to love conflict.

I did. You can.

More to come my reply is too damn long............

[–]johneyapocalypse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

By the way, I've been stabbed with a knife. A real knife. Your wife's words are nothing like a real knife so enough with the theatrics. Scale back on the drama. As far as I'm concerned you already get the MRP academy award but enough already. Fuck Meryl Streep it's time to be Vin Diesel.

Enough diarrhea, you asked and I threw it all out there... There's more, but once again, I don't know what you all need to be able to help me out of this jam.

I imagine there is. Just need to repeat a few things:

  • Stop being so fucking sensitive.
  • Stop telling yourself (you) look and feel like an idiot, it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy.
  • Start telling yourself you're a fucking man, a big man, a man with potential, and a man who is going to succeed.
  • Are you lifting? Give me your stats. Don't fake 'em either. If you don't give me your stats I'm sicking stoney, triadis3, and reddjive on you and then you'll really have something to complain about.

AND ONE MORE THING.

Stop relying on me, this sub, a book, a map, a guide, foucault's pendulum, the oracle of delphi, or anyone or anything other than you - fucker - you to get done what needs to get done.

I mourned when I realized I was no longer a boy and needed to become a man. But the mourning was short and sweet. It lasted but a brief, brief time.

Butch up and be a man and stop waiting for someone to give you a user's manual.

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

why are you (1) solely getting (the kids) ready in the AM

The wife is to work at 7am I am to work at 8am, they get to daycare around 7:30am. Kids this age need a fuck ton of sleep. I'm not going to wake them much earlier than that.

Why are you doing all the dishes?

Because they need to get done, and I can't rely on her to get them done every night, so I do them unless she beats me to it.

The i don't dare portion was meant to explain that I'm repeatedly denied, she gets angry as hell if I try and "force myself" on her.

If I'm not mistaken you are saying - and I'll paraphrase - that (1) as you are doing the dishes you will (2) "smooch" your wife and (3) say thank you (4) because she has made coffee but you (5) will not do anything more (like put your penis in her vagina) because she (6) would think you were a creepy molester since you (7) once tried pretending to be a creepy molester and she (8) did in fact think you were acting like a creepy molester.

(5) I'd surely like to, but I get denied, so I'll try again later and get, "nope".

  • I have tried before and failed
  • Yep
  • The theory sounds great, actions aren't working either
  • No, I'm not special, I know that - I just don't know how to handle it.
  • This ain't my first time posting, I just don't get a lot from the same old "read the sidebar" I have, I've listened to NMMNG on audible 2x read WISNIFG 1x and listened to it another 1x. I've listened to the entire Rational Male series. And a bunch of supplemental stuff to help me along, (creating habits, etc.)
  • I know sympathy isn't what I need, but I'm defeated.

Are you lifting? I am lifting, started with Starting Strength, but got bored of it, and multiple squat sets aren't conducive to good time management. I already was blessed with decent leg gene's.

Squats: 225 Bench: 140 (have a bad shoulder) Barbell Row: 100 Deadlift: 215

Switched to more hypertrophy exercises lately but I really need to find a good plan to follow. My basement gym is a RML-3, I have a nice Rogue Ohio Bar, the Pulley system for lat pulldowns, a dip station and flat bench. I don't have dumbbells yet and have been doing curls with my Olympic bar and 20lbs of wight.

[–]BostonBrakeJob0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I know I need to lead her, but by example isn't doing the trick.

You and I are fishing from the same boat here. W&S set me on the stove to stew, so I have no advice to give you on this other than:

Do what ya gotta do, and stfu up about it.

What exactly do you want though? Kindda sounds like sex from the wife, but not sex from the wife cuz she's a fatty? Or are ya just a little butthurt that your beached whale isn't fucking you like a pornstar after "doing all this work"?

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I'm upset I guess that she won't join me in setting goals and improving herself. I feel that she'd feel better and look better and actually be someone I was attracted to.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Forget about partnership. Act single. You do you. And do it now or this is gonna spiral into a depression and then there will be nothing but excuses.

[–]BostonBrakeJob0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Is this a vague generalization of some detailed goal you have in mind? Or is this the actual internal dialog, verbatim? Seems like you're holding something back.

You definitely have some expectations of her, which is fine in and of itself. BUT, you're not here saying "this is what I am doing and the results are shit. This is what I'm going to try, but do you all have any suggestions?" Sounds like you've hid a covert contract in the attic and you're getting pissed she hasn't signed it yet.

So I guess the question is then, does she know what you expect of her? And are you attractive and not unattractive enough for her to even give a shit about what you want?

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

No. I've done the covert contract shit before... Over it. I don't really know where to begin to lead other than taking things over, which I have in some areas, finances being the most prevailing.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

==>

[–]2ndalRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stop being upset at things you can't control. Do you get upset when you go outside and the wind is blowing from the west instead of the east? Instead, be pleasantly surprised if your wife, on her own accord, decides to stop looking like a beached whale.

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Are you fat? Look in the mirror and ask if you would fuck you. If you wouldn’t, then keep lifting and eating clean and don’t worry about your wife.

If you have made big improvements and are much higher SMV than your wife, give it time. It looks like you are 4 months in or so. Give it at least 1 month per shitty year of relationship.

Ignore her. Focus on you.

[–]MRP_Padawan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, I'm not fat. I'm actually a good looking guy genetically but need to put on muscle. If anything, is say I'm skinny-fat. She was pretty when we met in college, but has gone the way of the walrus.



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