A system for OYS

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November 7, 2017

We draw (reasonably) near to the end of 2017. As your thoughts turn to goals for 2018, I want to outline a system I have developed which works for me and has for several years (in slowly varying iterations). This is how I track owning my shit.

I divide my life into three broad fields (personal, patrimony, professional), and a set of subcategories for each. I have my terminal goals, instrumental goals, and possible short-term habits, behaviors, and opportunities written down. In four-week sprints, I set specific goals and systems (weeks are easier to plan by than months). Since the text file I work in stays open on my computer(s) and is synced via Dropbox, I always have access to the material and see it multiple times during the day. (I have not been posting this to OYS since the last 60 days of dread, but I hereby commit to participating weekly for at least the next quarter.)

  1. Personal---structured towards making me into the person I want to be. I have a fairly clear vision of this, but I know it will take years to train my instincts, tastes, and scholarship to this.
    1. Spiritual---reading, religion, interior life, church
    2. Physical---lifting, boxing, diet
    3. Mental---reading, mindset, management, energy level, managing legibility
    4. Craftsman---woodworking
  2. Patrimony---how I want my household and affairs to operate. A lot of outer MRP overlaps with this area.
    1. Marital---relationship with my wife
      1. Relational/Game---MRP for home life
      2. Sexual---DEVI
    2. Patriarchal---relationship with my children and my household
      1. Fathering
      2. Security---marksmanship, handyman
    3. Economic
      1. Economic---home economy
      2. Financial---day-to-day operations, weekly and monthly checkins
      3. Investments---tracking retirement, etc.
  3. Professional---having to do with the first job, an academic position I greatly enjoy, and the second job, which is eliminating the need for the first job.
    1. Teaching---technique, curriculum, 4HW aims
    2. Development---research, blue-ocean projects
    3. Social---persona, style, networking
    4. Civic---service, community (online and IRL)

Some categories are very active, like the professional and mental ones. Others, like physical or marital, tend to change slowly. Habits tend to grow and empty as they become internalized or discarded. I don't get something done every day in every category; I do get something done every week at a minimum.

For example, my section on fathering looks like this:

#### 2bi.  fathering ··························································  - TERMINAL GOALS:  a legacy for my family; stable, satisfying home life - INSTRUMENTAL GOALS & SYSTEM:     - create multi-generational relationships for my kids     - develop a work ethic     - embrace limited consumption     - learn how to travel meaningfully     - embrace serious reading     - prepare an intentional inheritance for my kids     - church activity     - family activities and outings     - reading goals for older children - HABITS/TODO:     - regular review of school day and schoolwork     - road trip with kids, no wife     - summer homeschooling     ... et cetera ...

My four-week plan for fathering (/ means it's done, - means that it's not):

2bi. fathering:     /take B boxing w/ I     /take boys to pro wrestling     -follow up on piano lessons     -set up regular org. for family night

Once a year I revisit everything, typically beginning in early December. (I'm starting early this year, thus this post.) I rework categories as necessary and I adjust goals and motivational quotes. I self-assess on things like my SMV and DEVI, as well as my professional and social performance.

The following are the articles and books I return to most often for perspective. Your list will be different, but have a list—your own sidebar, if you will.



  • Dag Hammarskjöld's Markings (must-read for you Meditations fans)
  • Thomas Traherne's Centuries of Meditations and Thomas à Kempis' De imitatio Christi
  • C.S. Lewis' The Abolition of Man

In short, this is a reflection on what I have and where I'm headed. It's more focused on becoming a high-value man than strictly sexual strategy, but of course both prongs are necessary. I don't always know how to get there, and I sometimes can't see the mountain when I'm down in the valley. But the mountain is there and I know where I'm going. If I'm messing around, well, I know what I should be doing instead. This is my frame.

Post Information
Title A system for OYS
Author black_jack_davy
Upvotes 6
Comments 23
Date 07 November 2017 05:59 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205191
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7bex3q/a_system_for_oys/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
dread gameframesexual market valueliftgame

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy

Look, I'm a blue collar guy....this system for OYS just seems autistic AF.

Seriously, all the time you're spending recording, tracking, and weighing out your performance metrics for how well you did under 1.Personal->Spiritual->Religion...etc that's time that you're:

A) not in the gym B) having fun C) doing anything remotely cool or exciting D) generating tingles

A bit of advice I saw on text game that I think can apply to many aspects of married game....when doing something ask yourself is this helping my mission of making her panties wet?

Somehow I can't envision a chapter by Pook covering how to track your progress as autisticly as possible.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

well, then this is a good time to get into the professional side of the blue collar world, as in a supervisory role. Develop a base for code knowledge and the direction your trade or field is going into

The best part of an educated blue collar expert, is he can cut through the shit and get a lot of consulting work under his belt, or be the go to supervisor

Also, KISS is the best in my opinion, and with many balls in the air as I have going at once, it is a mother fucker trying to add more metrics

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

The professional side holds no appeal to me at all. At my seniority level at my employer the difference in pay is negligible, would add a ton of responsibility, and would require me to possess an appetite for eating shit that I just do not have in me.

I do work in a technical field for a very, very large employer with skills that are transferable around the world. To start working through the corporate rat race at my age by joining management just doesn't appeal to me.

I am however taking advantage of other work and educational opportunities that have come my way, although not directly for my employer they agree with me, I enjoy it, and it sees me traveling a few times a year in a completely different capacity.

As far as KISS goes, I agree, the less metrics the better. The only one I really care to measure is panty moisture level and wether or not she is begging to get me inside her ASAP.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Pantry moisture meters are a good metric aren’t they ?

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everything changed for me when I started focusing on that metric. Turns out that "will doing X make her panties wet" will almost always result in me doing the right thing.

[–]black_jack_davy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's fine. Do what works for you.

But autistic is not a four-letter word.

[–]resolutions3164 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Man. I love a good system.

I’ve come far enough where I’ve seen the dangers of being too analytical, too in my head, too in the data - and not enough ALIVE.

That said, man I love systems. Saving this to give it a deeper read (thanks for the books as well, those look interesting)

[–]thunderbeyond0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If I remember, didn't you have your own OYS format or style that you were implementing?

[–]resolutions3161 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have a template I use each week.

Early on I created a form that would give me a numerical score, but I quickly found the score impossible to really interpret or use effectively.

Besides a few small things like sex and period trackers, I’ve left most data collection behind for MRP stuff. In the end the data wasn’t really important - that was a way of intellectualizing things, and separating from the painful emotional nature of what was happening. It was a distraction from the internal work, which is far less amenable to quantification.

[–]gvntr1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

Systems approach is very good.

I have something similar.

Lotta time overhead, but result is to keep me on track. I use Google Calendar and reminders as part of this. The main document is my journal.

Kaizen: My System has a feedback loop to constantly improve the system. And to constantly simplify it -- to overcome the tendency to optimize.

Simplification over optimization.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Kaizen is not a word I ever expected to read on a forum about sexual strategy.

What's next? An analysis of how to use the Toyota Production System to streamline your approaches for maximum efficiency and reduction in waste? Are we going to make a value stream map?

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

I want to take my six sigma approach and use some dev ops to go over the waterfall while being in a kaizen state. Oh yeah, we're agile now, damnit.

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just had a stand-up with the family to commit to the shit I'm going to own this week.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Showing off your Six Sigma Lean Practitioner Black Belt is the ultimate panty soaker and display of high value.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

3.4 parts PER MILLION, baby!

[–]gvntr0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

For the non-spergs:

If you are going to do a system like this, add a feedback/improvement process so that the system gets better and does not get too complicated.

[–]gvntr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Incidentally there is actually a somewhat Red Pill leaning sub called Kaizen Brotherhood that is very allied to the things we are doing here in some respects. Their 90-Day Challenges are very good. Maybe a younger crowd than this one.


[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I get this. I think it's excessive, but I get it.

What doesn't get measured doesn't get managed.

Try to simplify it, if you can.

[–]black_jack_davy[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I understand the push-back and teasing about applying process at home. No one except me (and now you all) ever reads this process or knows about it. It's a fancy to-do list to keep me on top of things, not a spreadsheet to wave at the wife.

If you were running a business, you'd keep similar processes and records, in one form or another. So there's nothing "wrong" with tracking and goalposts and systems for your love life etc., it'll just take a different form for different men. You write goals and motivational quotes in your fitness journal, or practice affirmations in front of the mirror, and you do it because you find value in it. At work you use checklists and processes because they have a demonstrated track record of reducing screw-ups. I've found that without a similar system to the above, I tend to lose track of the balls and miss on things I intend and desire to accomplish.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

What I disagree with is the idea that following what works in the business world transfers over to ones personal interactions.

I wouldn't suggest having no plan whatsoever, but I think having too detailed a plan can lead to just as many potential pitfalls. Once you start setting metrics, collecting data, and analyzing performance to an ever increasing level of detail you run into the potential for getting caught into a feedback loop of digging deeper and deeper, and soon enough all you've done is created a situation where you're so engrossed in thinking about the plan, your targets, what and how you should react.....that you forget to just BE.

You become an automaton who is following a plan according to the inputs and outputs you've placed on your weekly performance charts.

This may work great in the business world where your goals can be quantified, measured, and maximized for optimal efficiency, but this is not the environment that humans evolved in naturally.

Sometimes you just need to get out of your own head and let shit flow naturally. I know that this is difficult for the spreadsheet guys amongst us, but it's also the reason that many of them struggle. What works in business, primarily logic and problem solving is NOT the language that works with women.

I think the solution is obvious. Those that are completely undisciplined need to add some structure to go along with their natural tendency to just do what "feels right".

However, those that are so logical that they see the solution to every problem as requiring a complex set of data collection, metrics and perform evaluations....those guys really just need to get out of their own heads and step out of their own way.

At the end of the day the only metric worth a damn is wether or not your methods are working to get you closer to your goals. It's pretty easy to quantify that without having to resort to detailed analysis every day. The results will speak for thenselves loud and clear.

[–]black_jack_davy[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

"Don't feed the spreadsheet guy."

[–]gvntr0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

“Plans are nothing. Planning is everything.”

So, how much time does it take to implement the black_jack_davy process in a given day? More than 30 minutes?

My process takes about that long. Some days I feel I don't have enough time for it. Usually those days get untracked.

One crucial habit I picked up on the GetDisciplined sub, and later find out it's from Brian Tracy: https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/33jijb/method_a_goalsetting_fix_that_will_transform_your/

Every morning write down your goals.

This is the most important part of the process, and it works like magic.

[–]black_jack_davy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's more of a long-term to-do list than a way of tracking metrics (except for MRP stuff like DEVI which is explicitly built to measure), so aside from glancing it at and updating anything, I spend maybe five minutes a day working it, plus one afternoon a month. (I see it much more frequently than I touch it, so it's like having my day's goals down.) It's not time-intensive, which seems to have been the assumption in much of the other commentary. There is a little bit of "metric tracking", but more in the sense of having a retrospective on what I've done, not a quantitative table.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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