Or am I handling this right?
I am currently reading WISNIFG and MMSLP.
But today my SO and I had an issue and I'm so confused on how to handle these things. At the moment. Some ppl on here tell me to explain the value in the situation of what you're doing, and then others call that DEERing. Some say to ignore. Others say that's being a dick. So I get confused if I should be explaining the value. If I'm deering or how to handle this shit. I know I can't bring logic to a feels fight. But I have a hard time changing feels.
2 things. 1.) My SO is a nursing student. We usually hangout every weekend. She has some nursing stuff the next couple weekends (7p to 7a.) And if she doesn't see me in a couple days she gets all moody. 2.) I work full time, gym and also have a business where I sell supplements. I am constantly running around meeting people to give them their supplements.
Today she had a day off and I told her to come over later on. She said okay and told me she would have to go home tho Bc she has an interviews and has to be up early. I tell her okay.
I also play softball every Sunday. After we go to eat. She text me asking what I'm doing I tell her I'm out to eat. I tell her we were waiting for people to show up and she should come. She said nah thanks tho.
I said okay. Then she asks if I wanted to go to the mall with her. I didn't want to go and I had to meet ppl in that time frame anyway. So I tell her I'm going to meet those people and meet her at the house after.
She tells me I will only have an hour to hangout with her Bc she has to leave. I say okay then let's make it good 😉.
She then text me "I'm not really in a good mood" I say well that was random. I call her and ask whats wrong. She tells me she's annoyed that she hasn't seen me (it's literally been a couple days) and that I am putting other things before her as my priority. (But those things are what make us money.) she says I have my priorities messed up. I told her I invited her to come eat. She didn't want to. I'm meeting someone and then spending the rest of the time with her. She was mad that I wasnt going to the mall with her. But These things had to get done and she knew prior.
I tell her let's not spend the limited time we have fighting. I will see her when she gets here. We both then Hung up.
She then texts me "You have all weekend to make your money. You meeting you dad has nothing to do with this. He's an exception. (One of the ppl I have to meet with) It's the fact that you didn't even want to come with me. Even after I offered to wait for you to be done with your dad. "
I assert that I just didn't want to go to the mall (I have a bunch of stuff coming up and she wants to go on a vacation and all this stuff that cost money. So I am spending smarter). I told her I received my supplies yesterday and was busy all last night. (Which she knew) that today was the only day I could meet these ppl. And in that time I made time to hangout with her. I told her she had the option to come eat and she denied it. That she had that option to spend more time and she denied it. I then said so I will see you when you get here" ( Deering? But idk any other way to get the point across.)
She said how am I supposed to hangout when you're not home. I tell her. You could have Come out to eat. And I didn't know she had to leave early tn till a couple hours before. I then said
"Look I'm looking forward to seeing you and not fighting with you. So you go to the mall. Cool down. And when you get here we will spend some good quality time together"
Did I hand this the right way and if not. Wtf am I doing wrong here. I get so lost on when to ignore certain behaviors. When to explain the value in something. When to laugh it off or when to treat it like a shit test/comfort test.
Like I said Ive been reading. I've been posting I've been learning but I feel like I'm just missing something.