Everybody gets one

lintheswithd · 2017-05-23T23:08:21+00:00

"My financials have always been in shambles"... so is it really bullshit that she's sick of being the adult in the relationship? Can you fault her for not wanting to take you on as her child?

Get your financials in order. Not for her, for you.

ReddJive · 2017-05-24T01:04:54+00:00

It's funny.

Every beta comes in here and points to one problem in thier life that has caused it all to fall. Finances, lost job, got hurt, whatever it is....

BUT they rarely admit that they just plain failed. They they ceased to be men. I've seen millionaires who are as beta as they come and in miserable personal relationships. I have seen Google Executives who are no better than 50 yer old frat boys still reliving college years. I've seen criminals who are Alpha as Alpha can be. How is this possible?

Sure all those things: money, fitness level, skills...those factors, we mention them because they are things you can control and change and help get you to the right place. Overall...women want solid frame. Strong. Masculine.

You, brother, need to start at the very beginning. There is not quick fix. The sidebar is there. Get to work.

Report your progress in OYS, read, study. Improve.

She will come or she won't. Either way you move forward.

screechhater · 2017-05-24T03:26:48+00:00

Now that you have spit the puke out, feel better ?

I'm sure the SO would be happy if you would brush twice before bed tonight.

When you get done feeling sorry for yourself, look at the sidebar and start reading.

I'm sieve she is real attractive I'm your eyes, but your not in hers. Here's what I see. A guy that has two different kids from different women and may actually be the loser her parents were telling her you were

Got it ? You are the only one that can fix this. #1 on your list ? Time with your kids. #2. Lift and read. #3. Wash your head off now that you got it out of your ass

Archwinger · 2017-05-24T13:36:21+00:00

Two things:

First, get your shit together. Not for your fiance. Not to save the relationship. But because not having your shit together is making your life harder, for you. You come first. So your health, your lifting, your fun activities and hobbies, and your finances come before her. If you have to drop her to help get your finances in order, do it. Because getting your own life together is more important than any woman.

Second, drop the woman. She's seen you weak and depressed and poor. And when you were down, her go-to move was to disrespect you and shame you for it. "What do you mean you seriously hurt your shoulder and had to take a lower-paying job? Can't you just work harder and make me more money? I'm sick of paying for things. I don't care about your health or your financial situation. Making an effort to try to live within your means is beneath me. You need to fucking work harder, for me, because I'm sick of paying for things."

You're better off with no woman than with that kind of woman. A woman who actually respects you will live within your means, rather than demanding you sacrifice more for her and shame you for it.

Disconnectthecable · 2017-05-23T23:51:02+00:00

I agree. I've known this from the beginning, I just have no idea where to start.

Any reading material suggestions?

FireTempered · 2017-05-24T01:23:45+00:00

But I keep slipping into this miserable mood, and losing motivation. Especially when it comes to dealing with my debt and finances. Thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach, depressed, and angry.

You need to get out of your own way. Realize that life is hard. If you do the work, OVER TIME, it gets better. There is no participation award, there is no silver bullet. Take one step at a time and move forward over time.

I know I've failed every interaction between her and I when it comes to this. She's basically telling me we're about through because of it.

You have failed, IN THE PAST. OK so what? The past is gone and you are working IN THE PRESENT to improve yourself. Keep doing that and stop whining.

She thinks she has had it. Lucky you, you get to clean your slate and start over if you want to. Why not? She is part of THE PAST that is fucked up. She can do whatever she wants, and that is just a fact.

Four things: 1. Work on you. 2. Let go of the past. 3. Quit whining 4. Let her do whatever.

Triadis3 · 2017-05-24T02:44:19+00:00

You've become her child.

Of course she doesn't want to fuck her dependent.

What are you going to do when she finally has enough and she kicks your ass to the curb? Start doing that now. Seriously.

You've become used to having her as your safety net. She resents the hell out of you for this.

So man up. You'll have to soon, anyway.

Disconnectthecable · 2017-05-24T14:46:41+00:00

I always thought the main event was gonna be loud and well... eventful.

She tried to come out guns blazing, said it was done.

I agreed, I'll start looking for a place.

Time to rebuild everything from ground zero

A lot of it stung, but you're all fucking right.

Sitting down later and writing a hardcore, down-to-the-cent budget. Reading through personal finance sub.

jcrpta · 2017-05-28T22:13:33+00:00

Used it as a buffet. Take what I want, left the rest.

This, to me, is an immediate red flag.

9 times out of 10, what it means is "Some of this RP stuff looked difficult and I wasn't sure how to do it. So I didn't bother".

Well and good, but the whole point of RP ideas is that women are looking for the complete package - or as close as they can get to it. And while no man can tick every box completely, you don't want to be the man who's barely making an effort to tick any.

This is what is meant by "I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it for me". It's a mantra that's often repeated by women, and I think few (non-RP) men understand it. So I'm going to expand it to its logical conclusion, and perhaps that will make things clearer:

"I am not [working out|putting on solid muscle|losing weight|gaining qualifications|earning money] so that you can reap the benefits. I am doing it so that I can reap the benefits. And if those benefits mean swapping you out for someone who sucks my dick more regularly, so be it".

Disconnectthecable · 2017-05-29T13:01:48+00:00

When I originally found TRP, it seemed a lot of it was over the top. Not the self improvement parts, but the other stuff. Many people often pointed this out, and quoted the use of it as a buffet.

My biggest fail with TRP is that when I stopped being single, I stopped working with it. Only when I went back to it was when I discovered MRP.

Title	Everybody gets one
Author	Disconnectthecable
Upvotes	1
Comments	19
Date	May 23, 2017 10:43 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6cy4y7/everybody_gets_one/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/everybody-gets-one.206117 https://theredarchive.com/post/206117

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