707,481 posts

What just happened?

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May 11, 2017
11 upvotes

MRP since March, slowly implementing. Marriage was great, except for quality of sex- we are generally happy. Married for 5 years, together for 5 before that. We have 3 kids (2.5 year old twins and 8 week old). We are both 28 and started dating in high school.

BACKGROUND: Since I started working on me in January while wife was pregnant, I didn't really know what to expect. I didn't force too much as I knew it could backfire. However, when we got the all clear after 6 weeks post-partum, we have had sex every night save one. I've gotten more blowjobs in the last 3 weeks than I did the previous year. Added bonus.

I mainly started to follow MRP because in September, the foundation of trust in our relationship had come crumbling down after she confessed some infedelity in our high school/early college years- "never sex, but close". I got trickle truth every night for a week and I'm convinced that I still don't know the WHOLE truth. Went through a couple of counseling sessions and left still pissed off. That's when I made the decision that I cannot control anything that anyone else does. What I can control is how I proceed. Not going to lie, Divorce had crossed my mind.

I started working on me. I began to lift, run, read, eat correctly and really focused on playing with my kids and fixing up our first home. The I swallowed the pill about 1.5 months ago. I needed to make sure that my son grew up knowing what a man does and how he holds himself. I've read NMNNG and half-way through MMSLP

PROBLEM: The last couple of weeks/months, I have been in the best shape of my life, I'm getting compliments from everybody I see that knows what I used to look like 6 months ago. I have had no rejections for 2 weeks, closing nightly and sometimes in the morning or on lunch break for a quickie. Yesterday, I told my wife that I am going to be taking over the finances of the family and bill-paying. She is first confused, but let's it go.

Today, while at work, I text my wife and tell her to have herself and the kids ready to go out when I get home (playfully). She's confused but excited. We needed to leave right when I got home or we would have missed the event.

We go to this outdoor art fair event, live music and all. Kids are having a ball, I'm playing with them, playing with her, pulling her in for some dancing. It was a great day. Go out for some pizza afterwards with the kids.

After kids are in bed, I ask if she wants to join me in bed so I can take her for a ride.

"Not tonight honey. But I love you"

I say, "of course you do" with a cheeky smile. Give her a kiss and get up to go downstairs to start working on organizing the bill chart and finances. She asks where I'm going and I tell her. SHOULD I HAVE STFU?? She loses it about not wanting me to do the finances and bills, that she LIKES to do them and she doesn't understand why I want to all of a sudden. I don't think I lose frame too much when I answer, "I want to take over the finances and I am going to do it. It is not a knock on you, it's what I want to do".

She gets mad that I leave it at that and walk away and she's yelling as I walk down into the basement, some shit about how she doesn't understand what's going on.

Any help or advice appreciated.


Post Information
Title What just happened?
Author trp_kiro
Upvotes 11
Comments 14
Date 11 May 2017 02:39 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206171
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6ahgn3/what_just_happened/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
frameliftclosetrickle truth
Comments

[–]BobbyPeru13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bill Burr says when your woman starts yelling and throwing a tantrum, "just take a knee and run the clock out... Because you already won"

[–]PersaeusRed Beret10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

SHOULD I HAVE STFU??

I don't see why, she asked a simple question and you gave her a simple answer. Here is where you fucked up (and I see a lot of other guys doing the same thing)

I told my wife that I am going to be taking over the finances of the family and bill-paying.

do not tell; just do. As in slowly just take over the money with no grand announcement.

[–]maxofreddit5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're right on track. Her hamster just made it to her mouth.

Hold fast.

[–]SexistFlyingPig3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're changing. It's uncomfortable for her. That means you're actually changing and not talking about it.

I thought you did exactly what you should. You didn't defend or explain or engage or try to reason with her.

[–]WiseGorilla2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

She's excited and enjoying the transformation until you take over the money. I would go back through you statements and make sure there's nothing fishy there. Most likely it's like everyone said and she's responding to change in general, or maybe doing the bills made her feel like a big girl. Maybe she missed some bills and had late fees and overdraft fees she doesn't want you to find. Maybe Chad made her pay for the motel one time and she had to use her debit card. Probably not, but better safe than be a cuck raising Chad's kid.

[–]sixdownsevenup0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Another vote for a thorough review of transactions under her watch. As others have said, her reaction is probably just emotions and uncertainty, but it is not impossible that there is another reason for her reaction.

[–]BetaInBag_BagInRiver2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm guessing she is upset that you 'told' her you were taking over the finances, she may feel threatened if she does well at keeping the finances in order and you are just taking them over because "you want to."

Then, less likely but a possibility, she is hiding something with the finances. Maybe she is growing her cushion in case you bail, maybe she doesn't want you to know how much she spends at the nail salon.

I'd probably lay off any other power grabs for awhile.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

I feel like a broken record this past week...

There is nothing wrong with sitting your wife down and having ONE conversation where you say, "I've been doing some self reflection. I looked at myself and I didn't like what I saw. I'm taking steps to better myself, so be prepared for some changes. But don't worry. Our lives are going to be giving awesome!!"

"Don't talk about RP" does not mean you can't tell her that you're on a path of self improvement.

But... Don't talk about RP!! Just leave it at self improvement.

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Wrong. Actions, not words. If you say these words, then you undermine yourself.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Nope.

Making your wife guess at the shit that is going on it fucked up. There's nothing wrong with letting the wife know changes are happening. Going red pill rambo without any warning is just a shitty thing to do.

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Who said anything about going red pill Rambo? Implementing MRP by starting with the speech you quote is like telling someone how great a movie is going to be five minutes before they start to watch it.

"Making your wife guess" => look up mystery in sidebar. "Letting your wife know changes are happening" => if you have to let her know, then maybe the changes aren't as big as you think.

At most, if she specifically asks, you might say something vague about improving yourself. But promising that "out lib are going to be awesome!!" Is asinine.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, I guess we disagree. OP can choose for himself whatever path works best for him.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Best case scenario, her hamster is fully engaged and she is worried her previous cock ups have driven you to divorce, thus you are taking over the finances. Not a problem.

"I want to take over the finances and I am going to do it. It is not a knock on you, it's what I want to do".

That line could have been copied and pasted from WISNIFG. Good as gold, no DEER.

Worst case scenario. She messed up the finances, she has a slush fund and is still in love with Chad from college and is planning on running away with him on your dime. Still not a problem unless you decide to make it a problem but I think you are good because in your own words:

What I can control is how I proceed

I still think most of this post is about you being a teensy weensy bit pissed about the infidelity way back. Even if it is history to her it is fresh news to you.

The big red flag to me is the way you wrote it makes it sound like her messing around was not a one time event with a single Chad that was after her, but more like over a few years with Tom, Dick and Harry. A repeat offender. I'd be very wary of that fact.

[–]All_Ads_Deceive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What are you confused about? You've been a pussy cuck your entire relationship. She has no respect for you so she doesn't think you can handle finances.

Also being super dad doesn't get the pussy wet. Neither do your corny jokes asking for sex.

More actions and less words. Just pick her up and bring her to bed



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