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How to get your wife to understand weight-loss?

Reddit View
March 16, 2017

I have been following TRP and MRP for over a year, and read all the sidebars, and have applied many aspects of MRP to my 1.5 year relationship to great success.

But, how can you get your wife to understand weight-loss? Mine is about 10 pounds away from looking amazing. She works out. eats good for the most part, but gets frustrated when she's not losing weight.

I have been steadily losing 1 pound a week, and have recently hit 10% bf. When I tell her how little I eat (compared to what I was before) she says "omggg you must be starving, why do you do that?" I tell her that I am hitting my allotted number of calories for the day and that has gotten me to lose 15 pounds and closer to my goal.

No matter how many times I try and tell her to count her calories and track cals in vs. cals out, she just gets all emotional. Yet she'll text me a few days later saying she wants to try the next fad diet.

Any recommendations?

Post Information
Title How to get your wife to understand weight-loss?
Author WeightsNCheatDates
Upvotes 7
Comments 40
Date 16 March 2017 07:03 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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[–]abdadaRed Beret7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

"Great, do what it takes to reach your goals."

Can't force a person into a diet. Get hot yourself, get ripped, get attention.

When she sees this, she might ask you for help. Then you can say "I'll happily give you some guidance and menus if you're willing to commit to it for 90 days."

[–]WeightsNCheatDates[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah I need to get more female attention to motivate her. Good point.

She wants to change, but doesn't want to do enough to change. Guess we've gotta go deeper to find that motivation for her.

[–]abdadaRed Beret9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

She wants to change, but doesn't want to do enough to change. Guess we've gotta go deeper to find that motivation for her.

No, she doesn't want to change, she wants to talk about change.

When she wants to change, she will.

[–]SepeanRed Beret5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

The key to this shit is wanting it and acknowledging that it will suck. It means being hungry. It means saying no to seconds. It means only eating a few pieces of candy.

She knows this. That's why she gets emotional on the subject, and why she's looking for fad diets. She does want to drop the dream, but she doesn't want to endure the discomfort either.

[–]WeightsNCheatDates[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're 100% she knows it, because she's been there before.

[–]LymanRP1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It means being hungry.

If you're doing your diet right, then this isn't necessarily true. The biggest adjustment is getting used to eating to the point of being sated, not full. There is a big difference there. Full = ate too much.

If you're eating a diet high in protein and healthy fats while low in carbs, you can cut back calories and still remain sated.

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe some guys have it easier. I come from a line of 250+lbs men. I gain 7lbs per year if I don't watch what I eat.

I don't get anywhere trying to cut if I don't embrace that it will suck, that I will be hungry.

[–]maxofreddit4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

From the looks, she understands it, she just doesn't want to DO it.

Honestly, my wife gave up all added/refined sugar, and basically lost 10 pounds and has kept it off for a year. She looks great, maybe not fitness model great, but she puts a dress on and can turn heads.

She made up her own mind to do it after she (finally) noticed that after she'd have sugar at night (ice cream, or other "treats") she'd basically wake up with a what felt like a hangover. Wine does the same thing (thankfully tequila doesn't).

Sure, it sucked for her to give up sugar for a week or two, but now if we go out to eat, everyone can order dessert and she won't touch it.

Once her own hamster is working for the forces of good, she'll realize she's gotta do the work like everyone else, and she'll make the change.

Trust me dude, if one of us had the magic formula for making your wife do shit, especially on the fitness side, that guy would be a billionaire.

EDIT(s) - clarity/spelling

[–]nastynickdrRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Seems like shes interested in doing it, but doesnt know exactly HOW to do it. Lead.

When she brings this up again and asks for your input, do the math for her. "So, based on xxx method, you should eat yyy calories a day for weight loss". Tell her exactly what/when to eat, design her a meal plan, how many calories, what exercises she should be doing, help her set her weight loss goals, bring healthy food and cook it with her, etc. Then, if she still isnt willing to do it, its on her. Remember that in the end you cant change her, but if she sees you as high value she will most likely follow your lead.

[–]WeightsNCheatDates[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Good advice. Guess I'll take the time to break it down completely to her, and show her a map on how to get there.

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Give me a break. Of course she knows how to lose weight.

[–]drty_prRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hunger is a state of mind. Once you realize this, often you'll find yourself only eating because you know your body needs fuel. Lead her to this realization.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You know I read all the technical responses, and while that's all good I gotta ask you, where are you at? Are you still moving on your MAP? If you are following the professors plan, what stage of dread are you on? Remember attraction is not negotiated.

If you're wife truly see you as the best she can do, and sees your sexual market value well beyond hers she should be motivated to keep up. If you're fun and interesting she'll want to keep up out of desire.

My dad always said, "you can't motivate people, you can only find out what motivates them." So what motivates your wife? If she's happy to be a fat couch jockey you need to accept that or next her. Her being fat is not your problem.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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