Real time shit test, confirming my approach

Kosmoknots · 2016-12-20T15:51:02+00:00

I don't think that was a test.

Acknowledge good work by your wife as you would any member of your crew. That's part of leadership and reinforces your position as Captain. Here she is seeking approval... a sign that she is looking at you as Captain (in this one area). It's also why you never seek approval from her.

nopeToThe43rd · 2016-12-20T15:49:25+00:00

Nope, here's where you entered her frame:

I sent a quick reply asking if she also filed claims for a couple of massages she received.

Because you wanted to poke, and prod, and annoy her. There was nothing attractive about this, it was just annoying. The correct response would have been something closer to, "Got it, thanks babe". That's how you text logistics.

Jesus, do you want your fucking cookie for rubbing her face in it?

innominating · 2016-12-20T19:55:17+00:00

STFU and don't respond via text.

[deleted] · 2016-12-20T18:52:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

FireTempered · 2016-12-20T21:49:11+00:00

Her: "Everyone's a critic, it's never enough"

If this was in person, instead of text, what is she was ~~laughing~~ smiling as she said it?

I seem to remember something about texting being a single dimensional medium.

screechhater · 2016-12-21T00:42:09+00:00

1- Thanks for handling that. Anything back on those massage claims ?

The end. The end. Silence. Let do her job.

BobbyPeru · 2016-12-21T05:47:53+00:00

Don't respond. Wait until you see her in person. She'll be visibly annoyed that you didn't respond. Hold frame, and doing this in person will give you a much better read on her. STFU until you can get a read, and then respond appropriately while maintaining frame.

470_2_700_nm · 2016-12-21T16:23:47+00:00

I could regurgitate "Why are you texting? Only for logistics."

But I have more: What do you gain by putting her down? She becomes less inclined to continue on her path of looking after these facets of finance.

I hope you are looking at your life in the frame of "how can I simplify things so that I may concentrate on real value adds". You with a simple "massage claims?" text have gone in the negative direction. Your net easy just needled to the negative.

First I want to recommend that you look at every interaction as a way of furthering yourself. I am learning to do this.

Secondly and the spirit of "First", here is what I would have done. She is waiting for you to pat her on the head and say good girl. Wait to do that in person. You can even slide a piece of chocolate in her mouth as you do that - she will look at you like "fuck he is treating me like a dog, but I like it" as she savours the flavour. Take that moment to recognise her contribution, and if you can, go off on a note about how some person at work had failed to complete these claims and literally wasted hundreds of dollars!!! Let that sit and swirl around in her head. The sugar will still be firing off in her brain, so will the feeling of submission. And oh she feelz so good now, she knows she's done the right thing. Oh oh validation yes I like that her hind brain is saying. Mmm... give me more.

And at that point this is where you insert your critical statement, whatever it is. Deliver it positive, like "hey I just remembered, I think I may have forgotten about the massage claims."

I hope you see where I'm going with this. In this story I see your wife doing the right thing, and I see you noticing there is more to be done. Great first step as a leader, but your not dealing with a STEM grad like myself. Your dealing with your wife. Make her feel something, and in this case my suggestion is something good.

Deal so you continue to move the net easy dial in the positive direction. You've got great things to accomplish.

redearththeory · 2016-12-20T16:00:11+00:00

My response would have been - "I asked a simple question sweetcheeks. Don't get defensive. Now, did you file the massage claims?"

AM the shit test. Criticize her defensiveness. Bring it back to logistics.

Griever114 · 2016-12-20T19:10:12+00:00

"Honey, we are looking to save money. If you wanted a massage, I can take care of you. At least mine always end with a happy ending."

AM. Take over control of ALL the finances. Massages are a waste of money and a missed opportunity to get kinky. She isnt a professional ball player.

Title	Real time shit test, confirming my approach
Author	saint_chalet
Upvotes	1
Comments	20
Date	December 20, 2016 3:34 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5jdud2/real_time_shit_test_confirming_my_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/real-time-shit-test-confirming-my-approach.206747 https://theredarchive.com/post/206747

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