I haven't really felt this way before, until I finally pulled a girl who I was crazy over before TRP and was "friendzoned". Now, I can call her over almost anytime for a quick fuck. But strangely, I'm starting to feel some kind of resentment towards her... Things that made me fall for her were coming back to the limelight.

Like I'm not just looking to get my dick wet here, sometimes I just want to cuddle and hold her. Sometimes I want to tell her how adorable she looks when she smiles. Sometimes I want to stroke her hair while she lies her head on my chest. Surprise her with some nice flowers.

But I fucking can't because I know she's not attracted to that, she wants the RP me, who treats her like she's just another piece of meat, fucks her like she's my personal sex doll, and doesn't provide any sort of "real" affection. I know as soon as I revert back to my beta ways, she'll be done. My rational mind tells me that she's just looking for alpha traits, but my emotional mind is just divided by the whole situation.

I just can't help but feel some kind of resentment towards her. I'm just not sure what to do. I get that I'm probably naturally beta, because that's just how I am, I enjoy being nice/giving. I want a girl who I can be gentle and soft with. But it's always a trade off, because it seems like no girl really wants that...