RP Early Days: How to initiate morning sex in bed

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July 28, 2016

Just took the RP last week, and I'm looking for some concrete advice on initiating morning sex in bed (details below).

I'm already RP in some areas, my marriage is good, and sex can be excellent. However, I want more sex, and I'm doing a bad job of initiating when my wife and I wake up in bed. My wife acts passively in this situation, and my beta self-doubt can't handle this.

Thoughts appreciated, and go easy - I'm only a week in!


I want sex some mornings, but I'm bad at initiating when my wife and I wake up in bed.

We sleep naked. We're generally spoon cuddling when we wake up, with me on the outside. I gently stroke her arms / tummy, and kiss the top of her back. She'll make the occasional contented noise, and that's it. Then my beta self-doubt kicks in, and I don't initiate further. I alternate indecisively between doing nothing, or stroking her arms / tummy. I must be sending mixed signals to my wife at this point. Then she gets up for work. Sucky start to the day for me, and probably her too.

I guess I'm not initiating further, as:

  • I've historically only escalated sex if I know wife wants it too (she's responding to mouth kisses, stroking me, grinds my butt back into me, etc). In this waking-up situation it's hard to tell, as she's passive. She can be enthusiastically submissive during sex, so I wonder if she's waiting for me to escalate.
  • I'm unclear how to escalate from this passive spooning position. Should I physically roll her over and start kissing her breasts? I realise I could just grow a pair and do this, but it would be good to know the options :-)

Thoughts appreciated, particular on the escalation from spooning position.

Post Information
Title RP Early Days: How to initiate morning sex in bed
Author platypus987
Upvotes 7
Comments 24
Date 28 July 2016 07:41 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207287
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4uzjcn/rp_early_days_how_to_initiate_morning_sex_in_bed/
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[–]The_LitzRed Beret8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Should I physically roll her over and start

Works. You get a hard no or you fuck. Take charge.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

Try putting your dick in her vagina. That usually works.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The fact this guy gets any sex at all makes my mind explode. He's not sure how to initiate morning wood sex while his wife is already naked and cuddled up to him? Jesus Christ. He says they're already having plenty of sex...she must just fall on his dick accidentally a lot... I'm not getting a lot of these new guys. Their problems don't seem like problems.

[–]platypus987[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're right - I've got it good. That comes with a mind-set of continuous self-improvement. It's worked for me for 10+ years. In that time, I independently discovered and successfully applied Stoicism, a paleo diet, body-weight exercises, and a long-term goal of financial independence. So my marriage is damn good already because I worked at improving myself. I just discovered No More Mr Nice Guy, and then the Marriage Red Pill. My self-improvement spider-sense triggered, so I'm doubling-down on marital areas where I could do better. I can skip a bunch of areas because I'm strong there already. But there's always room for improvement. Your Future Self should always be better than the Current You.

Everyone, thanks for the feedback. Looking forward to applying the suggestions!

[–]jigglydee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol good chuckle....

[–]IASGame2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You just need to get over your ego and initiate.

Assume you won't get rejected, and if you do get rejected, suck it up. It is not that big deal. And given the situation you already have something else to do if she gives you the hard no - get up and have breakfast.

You are too worried about your ego, and you don't want more sex enough to get over that.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you have fewer problems with the logistics than fucking your wife if she isn't 100% into it. This one used to be a big one for me.

You have to realize that you aren't going to have above average sex all the time. Also, you should accept the gift that is your wife fucking you when she is tired, not completely into it, etc. If your wife wants to fuck you enough to not say "no" then enjoy it for what it is. Your wife wants to please you. Accept it and enjoy the fuck out of it. Use her body for your pleasure.

Read MMSLP asap.

Edit: Before anyone thinks I'm saying accept the gift of sex as "alms for the poor" you need to think of it more as "tribute for the king".

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

We sleep naked

Dude, that's half the battle. You're problem isn't your wife, don't put this on her. Your problem is confidence.

Go search the main sub and read some of the higher posted topics, find the one about "She chose you". You already have a healthy sex life, she doesn't have anti-sex pajamas on so you appear to be in good shape.

I'm unclear how to escalate from this passive spooning position. Should I physically roll her over and start kissing her breasts? I realise I could just grow a pair and do this

Yes. I love morning sex. I initiate often, and other than the occasional "mmm, no kissing..." (my wife hates morning breath) she hardly says anything.

[–]IASGame0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Why not have some mints near the bed (together with the condoms if you use them)?

I don't wish my problems were this simple, I wish I was better... But still!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

oh god grandpa's nightstand stash of mint lifesavers i used to raid ... i'm so dumb

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I spit coffee all over the table when I read that! I could just imagine your face when the realization hit you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So, too much external validation. A.K.A. Will mommy give me permission to fuck.

If she isn't giving you a hard No, continue. Roll her over, lift one of her legs up, draw her a diagram on a flash card and show her; who cares.

Just continue.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude, for perspective, lets trade problems.

Your wife would get fucked every morning.


For all you know, you may be leaving her with the equivalent of a girl blue balls every morning.

Why are you giving your wife a soft no? It's kind of like the male version of ASD --- Anti Rapist - Defense... or something

[–]A_RexRED KNIGHT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good point. There's been an uptick in faggotry around here lately with guys being too damn timid to escalate with their wives.

Central to RP - assume the sale (fuck). Don't say "no"for her.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take that morning wood and enter her from behind before she is awake. Much better than an alarm clock.

Also, sex God method.

[–]allberklee1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gently stroking and kissing is not going to do it. To her, that is the same thing as her laying there passively is to you. SHE is thinking the same thing you are: "I could go for sex if it's going to be hot." You are both waiting to see if the other is going to make it hot or if you are just going to cuddle and be friends for the morning.

She is not necessarily shit-testing or anything, she just isn't so horny that she is going to take the lead and give you a pornstar performance while you sit back. It's a stalemate: BOTH of you are interested in sex, but only if the other is going to be into it and make it hot; otherwise, you're BOTH overtly content with the gentle tummy rubs, although you are SECRETLY unhappy with it because of a covert contract.

It should be clear whose responsibility it is to break this stalemate. You are responsible for the sexual health of your marriage, whether you like it or not. However, if you accept and embrace this, you can be her Chad, and you will be surprised how differently she treats Chad.

[–]SDSAM211 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's taken me some MRP work and wife conditioning. But, now when we are sleeping if she feels morning wood against her she rolls on her back and opens up.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do your thing and then make the transition. For me, we have 2 kids so either her or I will get up, walk to the door and lock it. We both know what that latch sound means, it means game on and we do our thing.

For you, condition her to something maybe as your spooning you say, let's start this day off right, then you roll her over and escalate tot fucking.

Then, from now on when you say, let's start this day off right she'll know what it means and she can use it too.

Then, when you are out at a party or at a fancy dinner, you can say, Let's start this afternoon right, or start this night out right it should be fun, maybe an inside joke you use - whatever

The purpose is to just fucking do the thing and if you want it to be clear to her that you plan to fuck her brains out, make it fun and like Pavlov's dogs, find a signal.

this doesn't mean always do this (or say that thing) as that is predictable and she will become desensitized to the joy and FEELING over time. So mix it up.

Recently, with the door open (kids still asleep) I rolled her over, made out a little then I slid myself between her legs and we did our thing, when she said we would wake the kids I clamped my hand over her mouth, smiled, and fucked the shit out of her without letting her make a noise, it was sexy as fuck and she loved it, then I hopped out of bed and told her to dress herself as she looked like a slut leaking my seed.

Solid start to my day - now get your's.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Give fewer fucks, do what you want. Repeat as needed.

[–]nopeToThe43rd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Another way to phrase what /u/The_Litz said here: https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4uzjcn/rp_early_days_how_to_initiate_morning_sex_in_bed/d5ubgve is you either get the fuck that you wanted, or end up where you have in the past, so you've nothing to lose, and morning sex to gain - is the risk worth the reward for you?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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