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Some questions

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July 4, 2016
7 upvotes

I've been lurking around mrp and I notices a trend, all the wives are total shitbeasts. They are just pushing their husbands around because they aren't alpha enough or whatever. What about my wife? She's super cool, relaxed and I don't take shit from her. The thing is, she gained 50 lbs immediately after we got married and slowly puts more on every month, and she whines about not having enough sex, but I don't find her very attractive any more plus I am running my own business so its easy to get absorbed in running it.
That's another thing, she's like a child in regards to time. We went on vacation and I promised I wouldn't do any work on vacation and now we're back I am trying to cram 2 weeks worth of work I'm one week and she's mopey and whiney about me being busy and I find it off putting and it makes me just not want to be around her. Not to mention she doesn't do anything around the house. Typing this out I am beginning to wonder am I the shitbeast in this relationship? Or do I need to just treat her like a child?
After we first got married I would go to the gym, do the laundry, clean the dishes, go to the gym, and spend 12+ hours at work outside. I was very verbal about it in hopes she would see how much I was doing and pick up slack but she never did. I would get text messages like "I was going to clean the house today but I just watched 10 episodes of HIMYM lol sorrrry! I'll do it tomorrow!" And I would respond showing my disapproval and then on day three when the house wasn't cleaned like she promised I would do it and yell at her, but not very constructively. I don't know, is MRP right for me? We don't have kids, and frankly I don't want any considering she's a child herself, which, indeed, does piss me off.

edit: formatting


Post Information
Title Some questions
Author teslaboner
Upvotes 7
Comments 36
Date 04 July 2016 12:48 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207347
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4r4pve/some_questions/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why would you want, or need MRP?

I can see that she is an inferior human being. She is not worthy of you. You must be a very attractive and charismatic man. Don't understand why you put up with her. Certainly women are lined up to suck you dick. Dump her.

One more thing, please don't have any children.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Looking at you post history, you have been whining like a little bitch for years. Are you just bored? Enjoy hearing the same, over and over? Need validation that, she,she,she, is the problem, and you,you,you are OK?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, you don't show up at an AA meeting then act surprised when the crowd aren't lifetime teetotals do ya?

Doesn't sound like she is at all invested in pleasing you does it? I wonder why that is. Do you know? Maybe you are the "shitbeast" huh?

Is MRP right for you? Who knows? What is it you are trying to accomplish? I don't know. Do you?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Seems like you have been duped by a shit-tier woman. Note she herself was probably unaware of this duping, but now that her hunt is over you are now observing the actual woman. The idea that you need to implement MRP, dread, or any other praxeology to get your woman to behave like an adult, assuming you yourself are not a man-child, is absolutely absurd. Abundance mentality man. There are millions of higher quality women out there compared to this hambeast. FUCKING NEXT

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

FUCKING NEXT

See my response to screechhater. He'll just end up in the same situation with the next woman.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

He'll just end up in the same situation with the next woman.

Agreed that OP has a lot of work to do in setting boundaries.

However, I think the point that screechhater and I were trying to make is some womenpeople are simply not worth any effort. I subscribe to the "sparring partner" concept; but only when there is some potential for the partner to bring value to the relationship. Otherwise, the alimony meter is needlessly ticking away and one should find a less costly sparring partner.

I am complete believer in the RP praxeology as it applies to sexual strategy and bitch management. Hope this is not a controversial statement on this sub: but there are plenty of women in the world that are capable of holding down a job, staying fit, and keeping house without the leadership of a man. These traits (i.e. not being a woman-child) are table stakes in mate selection.

IMO if you need dread to get your woman to behave like an adult outside of the immediate relationship you have made a very bad choice in mate. In which case, no kids equals NEXT.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

IMO if you need dread to get your woman to behave like an adult outside of the immediate relationship you have made a very bad choice in mate. In which case, no kids equals NEXT.

Dread is a tool to get sex. This isn't about dread. A passive aggressive guy like this is going to bring out the worst in a woman. If he's hurling insults around, then his demands that she find a job are just white noise. Most women with shit husbands turn into shit women. It's a state, not a trait. If he can man up, then she'll likely turn into the person he had agreed to marry, or maybe better. My wife is a better partner now than she ever was.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

There have been several posts about coopendency recently .

You, as many of us, are getting exactly what you are willing to tolerate...

Being "verbal about things" really does not mean anything.

[–]teslaboner[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I guess what throws me off is that she's not a raging bitch who shit tests me all the time. I guess I need to delve into the readings, I have no problem with putting up a fight but when it's not about fighting and more about a underlying behavioral (instead of attitude) changes I guess I suck.
edit: I'll check out the forum on the codependency threads tomorrow. Now that I think about it, codependent is the right word. There's a lot of shit that goes down where I have to drop what I'm doing to do something with her because of whatever bullshit reason and all I can think to myself is, "why can't you do this on your own?" and I do get very agitated by it because it's so fucking annoying.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Her being a giant ham planet is not a shit test how? Her being Mopey after vacation because you're working isn't a shit test how? Vampires come in many forms my friend.

Put her aside, and fix yourself, then you'll see the forest for the trees.

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Fighting? Who gives a fuck about fighting? If women listened when men yelled at them, there would be no need for MRP.

Acta non verba, bro. Go up the 12 levels of dread until she either gets in line or you serve her the divorce papers.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

12 levels of dread

At this point it would just be another covert contract. He needs to stop being a codependent bitch and learn assertiveness first. Beyond stage 5, it's also largely a strategy to become a man worth fucking. She's already DTF.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

So. Who in the fuck are you again ? What ficking richt do you have to demand she work, take care of herself and be 100% in the relationship ?

She trapped you, she is fat, demanding and fucking lazy. You are fucked until you pull the plug. Get an attorney and draw up the paperwork. Lifts is too short. Next

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Get an attorney and draw up the paperwork. Lifts is too short. Next

This isn't /r/relationships. If he doesn't get his shit together then the same thing will happen with the next woman, but next time with a woman who doesn't want to fuck him.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. It is not. Until he wakes the fuck up and see he has totally enabled her and created his own hell. He has no boundaries or self respect. Until he demands a change, it will be rinse and repeat Part of the plan should be a divorce attorney. He has been given the bait and switch fucking, and until he knows his options, he is fucking trapped. Part of this whole dichotomy of drawing boundaries and self respect, is knowing your options, realizing you have to take action and correct it for you. However, if you read his post and comments, he has to not get her pregnant, and she is low quality. She found her train and got on. He hasn't truly got her to understand start stoking the coal or get the fuck off

[–]innominating0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

No kids; next her.

[–]teslaboner[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I enjoyed her company before we got married, she was motivated and super awesome. She worked out 5 days a week she was moving up in her career and she hung out with her friends all the time. Literally the week after the honeymoon she stops working out, and a month later complains about her personal trainer saying he'll have to charge her for missing appointments if she keeps flaking. Immediately following that was a very common phrase of "I gained 5 pounds this month" and I would reply "ok, stop eating so much" and she would lose her shit.
Now it's at the point (3 years in) any mention of the gym and me trying to motivate her just triggers her and she gets super defensive and will avoid working out out of spite. She's been known to say "stop pressuring me to go to the gym, you should just congratulate me when I do go to the gym," to which I was completely dumbfounded and just walked away. It wasn't one of those alpha frame things it was just me being in complete wtf shock and not knowing how to respond.
So if some how I could turn her back into what she was before we got hitched that'd be great. Some days I do fantasize about not being married though. Not for the women I would go after, but just for the complete lack of bullshit stress that would blanket my life and knowing that if I wanted to stay up til 5 am and work on something I wouldn't have someone being a whiny baby when I need to nap in the afternoon.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she basically gave up the week after the honeymoon, you got tricked bud. Read the sidebar, start executing your plan to be awesome, mentally prepare yourself for divorce. Don't fuck her without a condom, or you could end up with a sticky situation.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

So much for cool, relaxed, and taking no shit... All goes to hell when you try to take the chocolate bar away.

[–]teslaboner[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I love jokes from men owning their shit... You're not there yet brother.

[–]redearththeory0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your wife shit tests through her own inaction as opposed to overt criticism. Acta non verba. Start taking her toys away.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy

TL;DR

Typing this out I am beginning to wonder am I the shitbeast in this relationship?

Yes.
 


After we first got married I would go to the gym, do the laundry, clean the dishes, go to the gym, and spend 12+ hours at work outside. I was very verbal about it in hopes she would see how much I was doing and pick up slack but she never did

 
Covert contracts like this create resentment for both partners.
 

I would get text messages like "I was going to clean the house today but I just watched 10 episodes of HIMYM lol sorrrry! I'll do it tomorrow!" And I would respond showing my disapproval and then on day three when the house wasn't cleaned like she promised I would do it and yell at her

 
This is what happens when a covert contract goes unfulfilled. It's classic Nice Guy behavior. You lack assertiveness and the other social skills needed for a healthy relationship. You meet their needs in the hope that they'll magically know that you want them to meet yours. After days of wondering why she doesn't take the hint, you get angry.
 


 
Your codependent behavior is enabling her to act like a child. This is almost entirely your fault.
 
Read the sidebar books, especially NMMNG to start working on codependency and WISNIFG to learn basic assertiveness.
 

is MRP right for me?

 
You're in the prototypical MRP noob relationship. What do you think?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The doc here gave you gospel. Explained it. Laid it out for you. He is far more generous with his help for you than I am. OP, Pay attention.

[–]teslaboner[S] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Not saying you're wrong, but how does expecting her to do what she agreed to and after multiple talks on essentially how to act and finally just doing the work myself and trying to guilt trip her into doing something make me codependent? I much prefer that she isn't around, it makes getting stuff done easier.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

finally just doing the work myself

You're enabling her to avoid the work partly by just doing it yourself.
 

trying to guilt trip her into doing something

Lack of assertiveness.
 

Not saying you're wrong

Because you're a whiny, sniveling piece of shit. Is this the way you talk to her? Get fucked.

[–]teslaboner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Will do, thanks :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

If only he just suggested a book that answers these basic questions...

If only.

[–]teslaboner[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Man, if only. At least he wasn't a complete asshole and clarified some minor points for me, which I am sure I will be forever grateful as I start my journey down the rabbit hole.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Wanting a spoon feeding is what got you into this mess.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

More gospel, OP. Shut up and listen.

[–]teslaboner[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I'm sure you're right, but how are we supposed to know any better if there's no call to action? To ask anyone to do something outside of what they know always creates discomfort. Not to mention it's always hard to own up to fuck ups when everything else is on point.
Let's say you call me a codependent bitch and I'm not offended but I am curious, why would you call me codependent if I run a successful business that I am building up to the next level and deal with little shits on a daily basis? How can I be an assertive person when it comes to business but a little cunt when it comes to my personal life? It doesn't make sense and it shifts my whole paradigm of who I am. I can see the mistakes I've made but it's been easy to ignore them when the rest of my life seems pretty good. I may even find that my whole self paradigm is a load of shit too. Who knows? I will in a few days probably.
I didn't come here to blame my wife, I do love her, but something needs to change. I came here expecting to get some insight on how to deal with a relatively pleasant person as the 12 levels of dread didn't make sense for what I am dealing with, and instead I found out that I'm the problem, but not because I don't lift or go out or have goals (I do) but because I have some other protonoob issues.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It doesn't make sense and it shifts my whole paradigm of who I am. I can see the mistakes I've made but it's been easy to ignore them when the rest of my life seems pretty good.

This is the core of why you have not done anything. If you are satisfied, then you are just complaining.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes.

You wouldn't believe how many 'men' come in here, and when describing their SMV say shit like that. I'm a good father, I earn a lot of money, I'm the best manager at the paper mill etc. She won't give a shit, and those are beta providor qualities. Since she's had to put in 0 work to get them, they are essentially free for her.

Want a real simple (not easy) answer for why your wife fattened up so quickly, and with so little remorse? It's because she's not worried you're going to go fuck someone else and leave her. The 12 levels of dread aren't there to get your woman to 'act right'. They are a deliberate set of actions that get your out of a shitty relationship, and into another one (or many), whilst giving enough time for the wife to get her shit together and start working to keep you.

Look at this guy

Are you prepared to be that guy? Because that woman is fighting her ass off to keep her man.

Either way, this is as tame as these conversation go. Lots of guys will be way harsher than what you're seeing here, as they should be. Go through histories of guys like /u/the_litz and see what it takes to have guys treating you better than a useless faggot in here. Words mean shit, actions speak volumes.

Want to lose 'faggot' status? show the rest of the guys in here that you're worth a damn. Start with the sidebar, NMMNG to start.

I will say this. She isn't pleasant, not even a little bit. She's decided that her need for fudgesicles trumps any need you had for an attractive, sexual partner, and completely takes advantage of your provider status, even though, by your own admission, she has a hissy fit once you take away her insulin fix.

A cunt with kind words is still a cunt.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are right dread will not help much in this situation though others may disagree. What will help is leadership and boundaries.

Give it months not weeks. Improve, sidebar etc. Lead her to a better place. Give her a chance to follow. She will or not.

I would also up my sex game. Hard anal and rough sex has a way of turning the most rebellious women into sweet, submissive little kittens.

[–]teslaboner[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like you guys :)



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