What is the best way to get maximum blowjobs from my wife?

cholomite · 2016-05-26T18:09:41+00:00

Communicate openly and honestly about your needs. Once you explain to your wife that she should find you attractive and want to blow you, her desire for you will instantly reignite and she won't be able to resist.

Nothing turns a girl on more than open, straight forward communication. If only more men knew the key to having a wife who wants them, is to just tell her that she should want them. It's so simple yet the divorce rates are still so high. It's a shame really.

Olderpiller · 2016-05-26T17:39:44+00:00

Be worthy of having your dick sucked

2016-05-26T18:21:09+00:00

Slow news day in your part of town? I sympathize. I'm desperately casting about for something to say that would be worthy of some vigorous and extensive mockery to help you fill the void.

Alas, I'm too lacking in the necessary intellectual heft to do so. I'm destined to always disappoint. Life is so hard here in the basement, just me, my computer, and the recycling bin full of empty sparkling water bottles. (I used to drink still, but those little bubbles just give you a.....frisson...don't they?)

Help me out would you? Feed me a line? Say it for me, then mock away. You're used to self service right?

2016-05-26T18:59:46+00:00

Just be yourself.

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-05-26T19:21:50+00:00

This is rather simple actually. As any female human would say, it is All About Timing - AAT.

To ensure proper Timing, you must each setup a free Google Calendar. This will allow input of each week's activities for both male and female humans.

Now, once all the week's activities are entered, look for times when the female human you wish to orally penetrate is in the same vicinity as your midsection-stabby-stabber. Mark these overlapping times in Google Calendar.

That's it.

Since you are a male human who is married to a female human, all agency is removed from the event and all that is required is overlapping time periods where her oral cavity is available as a receptacle to your expanding-pointy-squirter.

Right?

mrpCamper · 2016-05-26T18:39:11+00:00

Negotiate it.

bogeyd6 · 2016-05-26T20:48:36+00:00

Pay her for them.

MRPguy · 2016-05-27T03:57:03+00:00

You want me to tell you how I get maximum BJs from your wife?

FearDearg2015 · 2016-05-26T19:12:43+00:00

Ditch the sparkling water and be a skittles man

2016-05-26T17:41:12+00:00

Obvious troll is obvious. You do know about post history, yes?

Someone got the flyswatter handy?

A_Rex · 2016-05-26T19:06:07+00:00

sips sparkling water off OmLiLi's wife's tits

I expected better from this particular Bloop. Profoundly disappointed.

blarggggggggggg · 2016-05-26T18:25:30+00:00

Is your wife also a troll? Because you should never feed trolls (semen).

Oh shit I fed the troll.

LIFT
LIFT
LIFT
LIFT

2016-05-26T19:02:15+00:00

Is this what you wanted to contribute?

They were right, oxygen thief.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-05-26T19:32:09+00:00

Even though it is a troll I have a suggestion.

Give her a nice long backrub ending with a long neck rub. The key is to finish the neck rub with her on her stomach with her head between your spread legs. During the neck rub guide her hands to where they are needed. When she is maximally relaxed, guide her mouth to where it is needed.

Owenh1 · 2016-05-28T10:47:34+00:00

It's simple, you have to keep a close track on her menstruation cycle. The divide your SMV by your JTA, multiply that by your AAT and then find the square root of that, eventually you will find AWALT, so just stick your dick in her mouth when she is least expecting it, then shame her when she recoils in horror. Then get annoyed and start a fight with her when she is annoyed that you have become a nagging narcissist. Again, it's quite simple.

Title	What is the best way to get maximum blowjobs from my wife?
Author	OmLiLi
Upvotes	0
Comments	34
Date	May 26, 2016 5:18 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4l6e6o/what_is_the_best_way_to_get_maximum_blowjobs_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/what-is-the-best-way-to-get-maximum-blowjobs-from.207403 https://theredarchive.com/post/207403

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