heading check. Been doing well with redpill philosophy. Recently read A guide to the good life (stoicism) by William B Irvine. Working out continually every morning. Building a real estate empire (MAP).
So it's been 2 months dead bed for me. Last night I escalate by feeling her up in the kitchen, telling her she looks good, and kisses.
She asks me to come lay down with her and I do. She asks what I want to watch and I say I didn't come in here to watch TV. I start undressing her, kissing, etc. She gets completely naked and then begins covering her boobs... pulling away when I kiss, etc.
She says she's awkward.. I push through and continue kissing. She is now pulling away from kisses. Finally snaps and says this is too awkward and to get off. Literally I felt as if I was trying to have sex with a Lesbian.
I say no problem, I take my raging hard on and go to my office. She comes in later naked and says come to bed. I tell her I'm busy.
She goes into the living room and says she's not sleeping in our bedroom. I DGAF and go to bed. She comes in bed later that night.
Today she talks about how pissed she is at me. I laugh and DGAF. Later she starts talking about all the appointments/activities she needs me to support her at over the weekend. I let her know I don't know if I can make it due to work (Really, just don't want to go .. no pussy, no commitment).
I tell her she has no reason to be mad at me because she asked me to leave. She said don't have a pity party. I laugh and say "Sweetie, I've never had a problem finding women.". (She met me in college when I had 2 girlfriends at the same time, she knows this.) We currently go to this marriage counselor (started before I found the red pill) who said that she needs to be included in my business life more to make her feel happy. So anyway, I equated that happiness as commitment versus the sexual needs for a man. That if I don't have my needs met, there's no need of commitment.
This woman will have sex with me one way... that's it. No other way because "it hurts" or "you're weird". She won't let me finger her because of "her c section scar". Oral is out of the question. It's fucking ridiculous. I'm sure she was fucked silly by Chad in college.
She then stays firm that she feels awkward around me and has never felt awkward around anyone else. She says she has felt awkward for 4 years. Straight up tells me that I should just go have sex with other people, but tell her before I do so she can divorce me.
I realize I fucked up by talking to much at this point and just went into my office, luckily having work to do. She barges in later telling me the babysitter needs to know now about the appointments this weekend on Friday and Sunday. I said no I won't be going, there's no need for the sitter.
I realize this is totally fucked, not sure how to unfuck. Needless to say it's been months since I've had sex and it's getting ridiculous. I want to say either fuck me the way I want or get the fuck out. However, I have a young toddler, if it weren't for that I wouldn't even be here right now.
TL;DR: Tried to have sex with wife, she acted as if I was the most disgusting sloth on this earth trying to take advantage of her. I DGAF and leave. Next day talk to much, now fucked up situation to unfuck.