I Broke Down (victim puke?)

Scurvemuch · 2016-01-18T16:07:26+00:00

I will keep it simple :

Her feelings matter to ( her ) yours do not.

Stop puking on your wife.

what have you done to have actual Outcome Independence, because as I read this I see a lot of pedastaling.

Saying things like" Good night babe I am going to watch porn" is not cocky/ funny. Its butt hurt and to her its probably TRUE.

You have a lot of anger built up (this is not a bad thing ) and there is almost no way you will be able to not come off butthurt at this point from saying anything about any rejection.

It will absolutely take her time to see you as someone worth fucking and having "vulgar" text conversations with.

wants to be romanced = wants to feel wet while thinking about you. this is an all day every day thing.

Worrying about job - stop being a pussy and enjoy the excitement of a challenge. Worry is what women do. Men think of solutions, implement them and learn from the outcome to try something else if they fail.

lots of other things, but start here

rurpe · 2016-01-18T16:27:54+00:00

She also says she doesn't like the vulgar sexts that I send her and she feels like she's just a piece of meat, she says she wants to be romanced. She says I'm trying to be macho and she doesn't like that. I know, watch what they do and not what they say.

Have you ever been propositioned by an unattractive person? Did you like it? She wants the sexts, she just doesn't want the overtly sexual sexts from her unattractive husband. Try being a little more covert and flirty with the sexts. You want to allude to sexual activities without being overt about it

I say "goodnight babe going to go watch porn".

You are announcing your beta activities to your wife. Do you really want her to imagine you sitting at your computer jerking yourself off?

BluepillProfessor · 2016-01-18T16:03:52+00:00

Where exactly do you think you fucked up?

I thought you handled the emotional affair demand very well. You handled the "Main Event" like a pro- tear down the cheek notwithstanding.

She ends with saying I need to focus on my job and stop expecting her to flip the attraction switch for me. That it's going to take time, and I realize I'm trying to make progress too quickly.

She is right about the first part. However, you are NOT making progress too quickly but you ARE expecting your wife to accept and appreciate your progress too quickly.

The tell is this line:

She also says she doesn't like the vulgar sexts that I send her and she feels like she's just a piece of meat, she says she wants to be romanced.

Classic talk of a woman trying to put her Beta back in the bag. She WANTS to be treated like a piece of meat- just not by A BETA UNATTRACTIVE GUY LIKE YOU.

Yes I know you have improved but it takes time for her to catch up. It takes AT LEAST a month of improvement for every single year you have been the Beta.

On the specific issue of initiating: I don't think a 90% rejection rate is working out for you and I don't think it would work out for anybody. What I would do is cut my initiation in half. I would pay more attention to your wife's receptivity. You should KNOW if she is receptive and if she is NOT then you should NOT initiate. In fact, I would leave the house completely and do something interesting. If she asks when you get back I think you can tell her the truth: "I wanted to have sex and I sensed that you were not interested so I left."

Finally, your wife wants to be "romanced" but HER definition of "romance" is different than yours. She wants a strong, confident man to use skillful Kino and escalation and sweep her off her feet. She wants to be handled properly by a man's man. You can't do this while you are pussy begging.

She says she put up a wall with me and she doesn't know how to be vulnerable and open up to me.

Then show her. Hold her in your arms and listen to her prattle on about her day. Use light nonsexual Kino on her bare skin (shoulders, low back etc) throughout the day, then use more aggressive Kino to escalate. Don't "ask" her for sex. Get her turned on and then fuck her. If she won't cooperate, pulls away, or gives the hard "no" then smile, and go do something interesting.

TLDR: Dread Level 4.

WhiteTrashKiller · 2016-01-18T17:57:40+00:00

From the sounds of it, despite your improvements whether realized or invented she is still in the mindset of you being beneath her. Be 100% honest, were you below her SMV wise when you got together. Some may say it shouldn't matter, but it is harder to become an Alpha when she has only known you to be a Beta, no matter your gains.

I got news for you Sport! She wants to be treated like a piece of meat, she wants to have her ass slapped and her pussy sore the next day from hard sex just not from someone that is beneath her. How would you feel if you got beat up by a 85 lb. boy? You would probably have this gut eating, ick stuck inside of you too! You didn't mention the relative SMV of the emotional affair partners. Are they well above you or just different from you? Both answers give you insight to her BSC calculator.

Use your time left in your relationship(since the known is sometimes better than the unknown) to max yourself out and set yourself up for your transition. You gave her the shot, rebait and recast your line.

Good Luck

stonepimpletilists · 2016-01-18T15:34:25+00:00

TLDR

if you don't value your writing, why should I?

Countpudyoola · 2016-01-18T20:40:12+00:00

You Victim Puked but in a worse way than to us, you did it to her.

You did act butt hurt with that comment with the hard no.

You have to act flippant as if you don't give a shit and annoyed it doesn't happen....but not emotionally affected.

You probably set yourself back a few pegs, but just get back on the horse and resolve not to fall off again.

Never break the cardinal rule of STFU.

So you should have stfu. I get the impression you're still bouncing too much of this off her.

The counseling sessions will not help you. Stop them if you can. Or A.M. in the counselling sessions. It can be done , but you're going in against a highly armed opponent sometimes. Luckily the last (pre mrp) time I went it was a lady who my wife got combative with and I didn't have to say jack-all. It's for her anyway so just make it about her.

You have some other shit going on with the orbiters, but your best track now is to maybe monitor but ignore and unless she does something actionable and physical it's all bullshit.

SexistFlyingPig · 2016-01-19T02:36:59+00:00

Opinion on what? What you should do from here? Read the side bar.

You've done everything wrong, and you haven't understood ANY of the red pill.

Step zero: You can't negotiate attraction.

I have no idea how you didn't get served with divorce papers already.

Some thoughts off the top of my head:
1) I don't care if your new job scares you. Fucking handle it. You're not in middle school with a paper route, you're a man with a job. Handle your fucking job. Figure out what you have to do to be successful with it.
2) You don't play video games, watch porn, or jerk off. Okay. Do you also not beat your wife or steal from the convenience store?
3) "I let a tear stream down my face." Oh good god. You're fucking kidding me, right?
4) You are a pussy, but you don't have to worry that you're "undoing all your progress" because you haven't made any progress.

You seem to think you're half a point hotter than your wife, and so she should be getting wet for you all the time? It doesn't work like that. Her attraction to you is how close you get to an ideal, not how much better than she is. She clearly has a very low opinion of herself, so you beating that isn't anything to brag about.

Everything she said is true. She doesn't want you to try to be macho, she wants you to be macho. Macho men handle all their shit and don't look for validation like 6-year-old girls.

You're not trying to progress to quickly. You're somehow expecting things to get better without you changing at all. I still don't know how she is still with you after all the crap that you've spewed. Don't try to play the victim card because she's "emotionally" cheating with you. If she was actually cheating on you, she'd be gone because she'd have found someone better than you.

Title	I Broke Down (victim puke?)
Author	RPStruggle
Upvotes	3
Comments	24
Date	January 18, 2016 3:15 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/41jc1h/i_broke_down_victim_puke/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/i-broke-down-victim-puke.207729 https://theredarchive.com/post/207729

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