How do you stop letting men define your value?

Adawritesrules · 2020-09-15T23:17:31+00:00

You can be the most amazing woman in the world.

A banana slug will still not want you. A banana slug, is just a banana slug. And it doesn’t define your worth.

jjlew922 · 2020-09-15T23:33:03+00:00

Because you are so amazing that this might be why they acted like jackasses to begin with. Think about how those relationships actually made YOU insecure because of their own securities and inabilities to love. That’s why you’re having thoughts like this most likely. Grieving takes time so don’t beat yourself up. You’ve got this!

Gambit12345 · 2020-09-15T23:40:54+00:00

You have to truly believe there are parts of you that are amazing. For example, do you have a hobby you really excel at? Part of self love and confidence is cultivating those skills and hobbies. Set goals for yourself no matter how big or small, and once you achieve them not only does it foster a sense of independence but you feel confident knowing you get shit done and are proud of yourself regardless of what some insignificant scrote thinks. It also gives you something to redirect your attention to. Instead of thinking of that guy, you’re thinking how you’re going to improve yourself in ways that interest you. Being selfish in this way actually feels amazing. The more you do it, the more engrossed you become with what you have going on, whoever comes and goes is just extra.

quaintrell · 2020-09-16T00:16:01+00:00

I remind myself that (unfortunately) Beyoncé, Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, and Eva Longoria have all been cheated on, dumped, or cheated on and dumped.

CuriousBubbleMilkTea · 2020-09-16T00:57:50+00:00

"Don't blame the diamond who's looking like a dirty rock, but blame the blind human who can't recognize its shine."

nycgirlhere · 2020-09-16T01:33:21+00:00

I tell my friends this: honey is sweet it attracts birds and bees but also bugs. Does this mean honey is bad for attracting bugs? No, of course everyone will want the honey good or bad, but that doesn’t reflect on the honey’s inherent value.

2020-09-16T00:31:51+00:00

Aw yeah I know what you mean. I try to completely stop placing value on all men. HV and LV. I feel like I’ve lived my whole life without them and I’ve only had men bring me down. Maybe one will show me he is different with 6 months of repeated HV behavior but for now I will assume they will just hurt me. I know that’s super negative but for me it’s true. So I place zero value on the man or his opinion because they have done nothing for me my whole life other than hurt me. I don’t care what their opinion is.

notreallyhere123456 · 2020-09-16T00:49:59+00:00

In my case, I remind myself that I was asking him for something real - marriage, children, hairy dogs, occasionally messy houses, supporting me through a tough career... in other words, life. He knew I wasn’t going to be happy with anything less. And he was too lazy and selfish to commit to that. I wish I would have gone about all that with more self respect and less heartbreak, which is where the real growth happens, I think. But when that part of me decides to chime in, I remind myself of the reality: it’s not that I wasn’t good enough, it’s that I had too high expectations from a partner. And high expectations are a great thing once you learn how to act in ways that are consistent with those expectations. Work in progress here on that last part, obviously :)

muricaxoxo · 2020-09-16T02:52:02+00:00

The best way is find your own value! See what you like about yourself/your life and use that to see your value. For example: if you have a hobby you're good at, if you have a job you love or are good at, you saved some money, you take care of your body via eating or exercise, you take care of your skin, you volunteer, etc.. Can be anything, not only about looks. Take stock of your life and what you have/do, and if you find you want to do more of something or be more just find a way to improve it. Love yourself and be your own cheerleader ❤️

Title	How do you stop letting men define your value?
Author	quaintrell
Upvotes	64
Comments	13
Date	September 15, 2020 1:43 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/it90pd/how_do_you_stop_letting_men_define_your_value/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-you-stop-letting-men-define-your-value.213553 https://theredarchive.com/post/213553

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