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[–]AwakenedSovereign31 points32 points33 points 9 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Why the fuck is your LTR having dinner with an ex BF?
That's not just your regular every-day shit test. That's blatant disrespect.
"if that makes you uncomfortable but I want to be honest."
Sure, I want to be honest too. I'm just not feeling this anymore. I wish you all the best.
[–]savagedealer5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You already know why she's having dinner with someone else only thing left for him now is to understand she's now a plate and her body is not his property. He needs to accept what's happening because at this point worrying or kicking and screaming is just gona make it worse . It's time to swallow the pill and take your fucken medicine it's time to evolve from a doormat into a pimp
[–]epthewizard points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Tbh she has never done or said anything like this before. I do miss being single though so this doesn't sound that bad
[–]AwakenedSovereign8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Maybe your trip freaked her out.
Women do this kind of thing, IE actively bring up the topic of other men who are 'potential threats', in order to establish to you that they are still desirable.
They do this because that's what they view as desirable in men. Girls want my man? I've got a catch! Hey look at me, other guys want me, look at what a catch you have!
They fail to understand why this behavior is unattractive to men, especially men like you who are in an LTR.
You have a few options here:
Tomorrow is the only day I'll have this week (leaves the problem of ex-bf unaddressed)
Tell her directly, calmly and plainly, that hanging out with ex's is a deal breaker (risk of appearing insecure)
Understand that your woman is actively entertaining other sexual prospects and doesn't even have the decency to be ashamed about it, instead, she weaponized it as a shit test to try and get a rise out of you / reclaim power in the relationship. NEXT.
I'm going to do the 2nd and if she argues about it I will do the 3rd
[–]AwakenedSovereign2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
It's your call.
Problem with setting boundaries like that is even if you pull it off without sounding completely insecure, she's a woman. She will just see him anyways if she wants to and not tell you about it.
This kind of behavior is a sign of things to come. You have to read between the lines. It's not about whether or not she has dinner with this ex-bf right now. Or some other dude down the line.
It's about the fact that she clearly doesn't respect/fear/admire you in such a way as to realize she should NEVER have done it or talked about it in the first place. She already broke the egg, homie.
It's up to you whether you feel like trying to super-glue that shit back together or just move on to greener pastures.
To be honest her birthday is coming up and this will save me wasting my money on a present so I think i'm just going to end it
[–]AwakenedSovereign11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you are serious about that, do yourself a favor and wait.
Tell her that's your best night this week, have her over, fuck.
Wait a few days. Maybe a week or two. This will give you time to feel the situation out in all fullness and distance yourself from the headless internet voices telling you what to do.
Then, when you are ready, make the break-up conversation completely neutral and unrelated.
This is key especially if she is involved in your social circles.
You are breaking up with her because "you just don't feel it anymore, but I wish you all the best."
Not because "you wanted to see an ex-bf and I'm an insecure douchebag who can't handle an attractive, independent womyn."
GL HF
[–]BasketCase5590 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
All solid advice.
[–]Kommanderdude1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If that's truly how you feel then break it off.
[–]xperminator1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Haha savage
[–]wheresMYsteakAt0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Pussy
[–]LordThunderbolt1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you have to tell your girl not to hang with exes one on one, you already lost. The good woman already knows better. That's like having to tell your gf not to flirt with other guys while she's in a relationship with you. All she's gonna do now is hide it and do it behind your back.
[–]RPBulletDodger0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sure, I want to be honest too. I'm just not feeling this anymore. I wish you all the best Next.
Fixed.
[–]LordThunderbolt6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You mean Ex LTR.
[–]RealEstateRockstar0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was going to say that exact thing
[–]RedditAdminsSuck_888 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No woman just meets a man for "just dinner"
She is going to meat up with him, not meet up with him.
No woman who actually respects you would even consider this
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just ghost, I would not even answer the text or break up with her. Simply disappear.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No butt slam? You slipping?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She isn't worthy of the attention he would have to give her to even do that.
[–]Poptart3183 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Update us
[–]Bambam22bam 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Stick with your plan. You're exhausted. Let her get dinner with him. See her tomorrow and next her. You don't have to tell her why, just say it isn't working for you anymore. Downgrade to a plate if you wish, but I prefer clean breaks with women like this.
[–]SkimSTi 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
yikes.... thats pretty shitty. question, before things got exclusive. did you guys have any talks about exes? like did she mention at any point she still talks to this guy? or was it just out of the blue? because thats kind of shady if it came out of right field..
[–]LordThunderbolt2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's not shady, that's enlightening. It tells you the type of girl she really is, and not the character she's playing because of your guidelines.
Update: I told her I would come over after work and went there. We immediately fucked and then I put my clothes on and told her I didn't have feelings for her anymore. She stared at me and then I walked out the door. She chased me down the hall to the stairs and started screaming. I just kept walking. I forgot she got us John Mayer tickets on Wednesday and she was flipping about that too but whatever. I probably should have done it Thursday because I really like John Mayer. Oh well. Good thing is I leave the country for a week on Saturday so she can't try to catch me at my apartment. A lot of you guys said wait to do it but if I waited I might have changed my mind. Couldn't give her time to manipulate me.
[–]rmcassio0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wrong move bro, you should have done it thursday. John Mayer is awesome.
[–]saladon3 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Jesus christ lol.
I can see why you didn't have the energy for her.
Drop her like a sack of potatoes. NOW.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
It would depend but this it what I would probably do. Without seeming butthurt tell you are looking forward to seeing her if not tomorrow then soon. If she still goes on the date(because that's what it is) either next or demote. If she makes the right choice then you can carry on, but she never gets a ring with this behavior.
[–]1walawalawa1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
WHAT THE FUCK!???? This is a LTR???
Plate said something like this to me. I said....very clearly in text: "FUCK OFF".... softer version: "k" disappear for like 3 months. Can you do that? Do you have the balls to walk away like that because that's exactly what you need to do RIGHT NOW.
You have to save that response to the perfect moment. This is that perfect moment for you.
Walk away. Any girls who's trying this "Triangulation" jealousy plotline needs to be hard nexted and fast.
Guys....read this guy's post and her text again and commit it to memory.
This is how ALL girls act. There's always an "ex" and "orbiter" some guy. I experienced this. I lost my cool---didn't work. I kept my cool---she kept doing it.
Only solution was to downgrade her, bang her, be firm with her and walk away when I got a text like this.
3 months for me after navigating crap like this. Plate brought a guy out to one of my party nights....as a "friend". I kept my cool, befriended the guy, found out plate met him at a class and exchanged numbers.... AWALT. Orbiter grooming.
A week later I hard nexted. Haven't spoken to her in 3 months.
You must have other women on the go and the balls to walk away. If you want to do so in a nuclear manner....FUCK OFF is the way to go.
If you want to be more mysterious, simply respond with "k"... and that's it.
if you're meeting her...be aloof....bang one more time and then never contact her again.
This is bullshit. "ex...I stayed friends with...." = orbiter for a rainy day.
[–]Ranger_Mitch0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You don't say how long you've been with this girl? Assuming not so long? I'd tell her to go hang with her ex and just not reply to any further texts from her.
[–]LordThunderbolt0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you have to tell that to your gf, you already lost.
[–]Ranger_Mitch0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly my point.
[–]bigk12345[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She is a plate now. I would personally just move on to other women. If you want, you can fucking her for a bit but the damage is already done. She has absolutely zero respect for you.
Look at it this way.
You were gone for the entire week. Instead of chasing your cock as soon as your plane lands, she tells you she is not going to be able to see you after not seeing you for a week.
You are not her priority. She would rather see another guy over you. She swung to another branch and openly shows you are not her priority.
Her actions show you are the last thing she worries about in her life. She would rather go have dinner with a side of "ex's " dick rather fuck you after not seeing you for a week.
Ghost. Withdraw commitment.
[–]raisins3142 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How old is this chick meaning how long ago was high school?
It's fishy she didn't tell you before or first text but then spilt beans. It means she knew it was wrong and was hiding it initially.
[–]RPShitlord0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't suggest dumping her right now, but seeing ex BFs is for plates, not GFs.
Don't spend any money for her birthday. Just get her skittles.
[–]saladon1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It's a desperate attempt at salvaging her position by going nuclear.
Very akin to the "If you cant even do this for me then maybe we should break up!" shit test.
Both cases are unacceptable red flags that clearly show how pathetic and disgusting they are, but know that it comes from desperation of losing what you are to her (ie. pigeonholing).
Respond with amused mastery, but feel free to show how disgusted you feel. That last text from her sounds like a fucking 4-year old trying to explain to her parents why she needs to stay up late and eating jars of nutella.
The fact that you couldn't see this coming from a mile away shows you have absolutely no idea how to screen girls. Work on your frame and fuck other girls to restart things.
[–]savagedealer-5 points-4 points-3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Alright let's not complicate this. today is cool meet me at my place bring a bottle of wine and wear something fun .
Don't let her get to your ego no ones too tired to fuck . Stop making excuses right now is the perfect reason to cut to the chase your exhausted can't go out but not exhausted enough to not fuck.
[–]Kommanderdude0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I highly recommend this. Get that one last fuck in before you dump her. If she brings it up tell her you don't care who she meets. Then ghost on her tomorrow and the next few days until she asks what's up. That's when you tell her you aren't feeling it anymore then ghost again permanently
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