How do women get treated as they get older?

Kara__El · 2019-02-09T20:53:00+00:00

I think it greatly depends on the path you choose. I have a lot of feminist coworkers, who've chosen not to pursue marriage or family. They're respected in the field, as they've dedicated their lives to their careers, but in their personal lives, they do fit the stereotypes of older, single women. They travel and they have cats. They have annoying aunts who ask about their love lives and they insist they don't need no man.

On the other hand, the older women in my husband's very traditional family have dedicated their lives to their families first, then careers. They're still respected in their fields, but they go home to a husband and frequently see their children and grandchildren. They're the respected matriarch.

Maybelowsmv · 2019-02-09T21:48:42+00:00

I'm 42. I notice that your looks do reflect your character more when you get older. I've never been a nine or ten, just a cute, normal, rather fit girl. I had a really beautiful, tall, blonde roommate in Uni, guys were crazy about her. But she was a very, very complicated person, and after a couple of not very major incidents in her life she allowed herself to become bitter and bitchy. I saw her last time when we were both about thirty, and the roles had totally changed. Now she wore a permanent frown on her face, she had gotten fat, and I was still a fit, nice looking woman.

Asmaraniya · 2019-02-09T21:06:51+00:00

According to my husband it's good to become babushka . Then you can talk about old stories

thatbadlarry · 2019-02-09T23:29:44+00:00

At 38 I don’t get “hit on” or gawked at as much as I did but I certainly don’t mind. I get treated with much more respect and deference now than I did at 21. I’m treated like a lady by most. People are more forgiving of my flaws. However I have worked hard on my presence and how I present myself and I think that’s a huge part of it. I’m more friendly and open than I was and I’m quick to apologize if I make a mistake. I can’t say I was like that when I was younger. I’ve developed true confidence and as a result I don’t take myself so seriously. I can be genuinely curious about others because I don’t have my own self obsession taking up all my mental space. I’m more well-liked and respected than I used to be and I think a lot of it has to do with truly liking and respecting myself.

Wolfssenger · 2019-02-09T20:31:01+00:00

It's not something that's well defined in modern western culture, to my knowledge. Everything is about youth, and very few people account for the second half of their lives until it is well upon them. From what I've observed, older women are somewhat like younger men in that they don't really exist unless they've built a social circle that cares about them. That is why the "cat lady" trope is a thing.

LateralThinker13 · 2019-02-11T14:43:10+00:00

I'm 45. Seen a bit.

Are personalities more or less as relevant as looks?

When you are young, the power of your beauty (pretty, youthful, fertile) often eclipses the power of your personality to elicit good treatment from others. As you age, the beauty premium fades, leaving your personality. If you have a strong, positive, caring personality that makes others want to be around/do for you, then you're good to go. If you are narcissistic, vain, and depended upon your beauty to get by (typical blue-pill pre-wall), you're going to suffer.

But you're not going to suffer the way you might think. You likely won't get any negative treatment unless you have an actively negative appearance (like being overweight). No, what you'll experience is... being treated like a man. That is to say, you'll be generally ignored. You'll be judged upon your personality and your contribution, not on attributes of your existence that decline despite your best efforts.

That's hard for many women.

RPW teaches women to have useful relationship skills, but these also translate to having durable worth. Homemaking, being pleasant and feminine, being strong but not overbearing/controlling/masculine, etc. All of this stands you in good stead to retain your power/value as you age.

So when you're young, personality may not appear to be as important as looks. But long-term, it's what you need to invest your personal development energy into.

cocodecoca · 2019-02-09T21:43:50+00:00

I'm 32. I rarely get any men look at me or approach me because I usually meet met in a work context or they know my husband so they are always respectful. If I do go out on a very rare girls night, I do get hit on by men in the same way I used to, it now makes me feel incredibly shy. Although the men will usually be the same age as I was when I was going out a lot (20-25). To be honest I find it really gross as my step son is 21 and I see men in their early twenties as little baby boys. I like to spend my time working, cleaning, reading or looking after my son. If I go out now I like to go out for a meal. I have much more close female friendships now than I used to, so I go out on coffee dates with them. Don't get chatted up/looked at as I always have a toddler with me. I don't miss being a young girl. I don't fear aging. My priorities are being a loving mother and grandmother (hopefully). I also want to improve my knowledge, finances and social skills. The way I look feels less and less important every year. My husband is older so I am always "young" to him. Also you tend to get compared to other women your age socially. So if you look great for someone early 30s, it's nice to hear it and the competition is small.

WynterBlu · 2019-02-09T21:51:17+00:00

I have not been treated poorly because of my age (which I hate btw- my age). But I don't act like a poor, dried out old husk of a woman that many people think should/does happen when you age. Age is an inevitable thing and to me, ridiculous to worry over. Worrying ages you tremendously. I will say though, when you become older you obtain that idgaf attitude about what others think of you because you can only please some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time so you will surround yourself with those that matter and appreciate you for who you are- mainly your family and friends. Throughout my marriage I worked but still made sure my husband/children/home came first. I worked full time as a nurse, was a Boy Scout co-leader, Girl Scout leader, on the PTA, carted my kids to their football practices, JROTC activities, scouting activities, church activities, numerous after-school activities while maintaining a household, cooking, cleaning, etc. I'm not sure how I survived😂but I enjoyed it (even though my marriage was a disaster). When you focus on those things surrounding family you don't even realize how fast time flies and if you've picked the right partner you won't even care about what the outside world may possibly think about you. You will be too busy enjoying your time with your spouse/children. As it should be. Don't worry so much about aging, take great care of the relationship you are in, watch it grow, nurture it to the best of your ability..because who you pick to be with at the beginning will be with you at the end (hopefully) and that's what matters most in life.

redwatch95 · 2019-02-10T11:08:51+00:00

It's not what you were looking for but I'm going to talk about the difference between when I was 18 and now at 23.

I was very much an innocent 18 year old. People treated me very well but there was a lot of unsolicited advice and guidance given to me. I was well spoken and came across as smart. But it was "smart for 18". Men didn't really approach me because I don't think I exuded self confidence of like sexuality. People would come to me with relationship issues all the time, even though I had never been in a relationship. But I would give advice freely (even if I maybe shouldn't have).

Now at 23 I've had a very different experience. I dress differently too. A lot more feminine scarves and accessories to look more put together. I find that people don't ask me to do things for them as much. For example "can you bring me a pen" or "could you print this off for me". Now I'm way more likely to have upfront conversations about what I want with guys. People don't talk me about their relationship problems as much. I don't give out advice unless the person specifically asks.

:)

thatmom397 · 2019-02-13T02:13:30+00:00

I’m 53, don’t look quite that old, and still have a child in elementary school. I’m on the heavier side now because of some health challenges, but I’m neat and well-dressed when I’m out.

Something I notice about getting older that makes me happy is that I must look kind and trustworthy. When I’m shopping, people ask me for help or advice or just exchange pleasantries more than they seemed to when I was younger.

We have two young adult children out living on their own, snd it’s interesting to see how they now regard me as wise (finally!) and also want to try to do for me. Sometimes they drive me places instead of me driving them, and sometimes I feel like a guest in my own home when they’re here for holidays and take over some of the more difficult tasks.

So far, I’m not feeling marginalized or discounted because I’m getting older.

Title	How do women get treated as they get older?
Author	Maybelowsmv
Upvotes	7
Comments	20
Date	February 9, 2019 8:01 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/aow11l/how_do_women_get_treated_as_they_get_older/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-women-get-treated-as-they-get-older.217203 https://theredarchive.com/post/217203

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