Being vulnerable - Mark Manson's Models; is it Beta?

LoveMySchlong · 2014-09-25T00:15:27+00:00

I always understood vulnerability to be less about sharing your feels with women but instead more about displaying an unshakeable sense of self without trying to protect your ego.

In Models he propagates a very direct style of game which even encourages rejection as a form of screening, to find the women most compatible to you.

See a man who uses classic canned PUA stuff like Mystery Method is not vulnerable by his definition because he hides behind techniques and gambits to always get positive results and not hurt himself.

(that is his opinion not mine, i actually think MM is good for starting out and developing confidence through competence to eventually become a man who can naturally and directly attract women but thats besides the point)

Just watch this scene from Vicky Christina Barcelona: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HN_237kUaXM

The guy is vulnerable in a sense that he directly aproaches the 2 girls and clearly states his intent, thus making himself susceptible to rejection.

He even gets rejected (more or less) by the brunette but he couldnt care less. It doesnt change who he is. Nothing was lost and nothing was gained. He put himself out there with the statement: This is who I am, I don't need to hide, take it or leave it. That is vulnerability.

knitro · 2014-09-24T22:29:11+00:00

Most people go overboard on the vulnerability, or misinterpret it. It has to be earned.

You want to demonstrate that you can be emotionally available, but it happens rarely and only with 'special' people. Its not a demonstration of 'weakness' or frame loss, but showing things can affect you, just like they can affect her.

Easiest place to apply something like this is after she's told a emotionally involved story about loss, fear or whatever. You commiserate (note, not one up) with one of your own, empathizing with her feelings. After telling it, following up with something to the effect of:

"You know, I never really tell anyone that story."

really solidifies the 'specialness' of the disclosure. She walks away with a feeling that you two now share a bond that not many other people do, and it strengthens her attraction.

It's that shared feeling that will be remembered in her head - it balances against the otherwise alpha qualities you should embody to help her feel she made the 'right' choice (100% alpha is not a winning strategy).

A quick thought on Manson - he knows his stuff. He's 'graduated' so to speak, to the later stages of RP so it partly explains his more mellow, laissez-faire approach to everything. I'm not saying he doesn't soften language for a wider audience, but distilled his basic message is women are people, however they are flawed. TRP does lose sight of this in anger, but it's part of the process.

etcomro · 2014-09-24T21:20:29+00:00

If you don't open up at least a little to women it's weird at best, creepy at worst.

Occams_Shiv · 2014-09-25T17:08:20+00:00

I think the word vulnerable may be confusing, but it needn't be. Vulnerable is not a description of you as a person, but your position in the world. Another term that means the same thing is "at risk"

It does not describe strength or weakness, per se, but your willingness to test yourself, and maybe fail. Another movie example of this is this scene from Swingers:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZ2gi5pLfpM

Vince is describing a moment of personal triumph, and emotional risk, and ultimately failure, which he then triumphs over just by placing it back in perspective. The girls eat it up.

He is describing a moment of vulnerability from his past. He took a risk, lost, and got over it. In describing it again, he is taking another risk by relating the story to a woman whose approval he wants. He is vulnerable in the moment. Jon Favreau, a beta coward, is unable/unwilling to be vulnerable in this way. He is too self conscious, and risk averse.

xiko · 2014-09-24T21:48:37+00:00

There are ways of doing that that means connecting instead of playing the victim. Re-read that chapter. I did manage to connect with more than on girl in less than 30 minutes doing that. They usually show their vulnerabilities as well. It feels really good.

Try to go on a date with a girl you don't want to fuck and try to connect. You will understand.

CaptainFalconer · 2014-09-24T22:22:37+00:00

Depends. Share your weaknesses occasionally, but always have a plan to conquer them. Don't look to her to provide leadership in solving them.

And of course, there's a balance of alpha and beta in an LTR relationship.

Calibrate that balance yourself, but I'd suggest somewhere around 2/3rds Alpha, 1/3rd Beta.

That said, for strategy on sharing weakness, Google for how you answer the interview question "What is your biggest weakness".

But in general, you can show your struggles without showing fear. Circumstances may not be in your favor, but you aren't ever going to be beaten by them.

kingofpoplives · 2014-09-25T00:56:48+00:00

I read Models by Mark Manson. He talks about opening up and being vulnerable to a woman, by telling her stories in your life of vulnerability, actually helps a woman become attracted to you.

There is an art to doing this. Done properly it generates intense emotion, and as a result intense excitement and attraction, in a woman.

It needs to be done in a such a way that it frames negative emotions from your past as trials and tribulations that were heroically overcome through courage and strength of character -- think of the drug addict who hit rock bottom after an overdose, contemplated suicide, but dug deep inside himself, found the will to live and rebuilt his psyche from the ground up.

There is something dramatic and compelling about that sort of a guy, as opposed to some boring beta who sat on his couch every night and never did shit.

Now the same drug addict shtick could kill attraction if it was presented in a whiny, needy, and pathetic way. Look at poor me, my life is so hard, I can't control my addiction and it's so sad wha wha whaaa, I need your help so much...

It isn't the vulnerability per se that gets women attracted to you but emotional drama you are able to create that thrills and excites them. Emotional stories that don't even involve you at all can work for this.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-09-25T01:04:29+00:00

I just finished this book last night.

Yes it is Beta.

Yes it is absolutely a useful technique for building attraction and rapport.

Beta is not always "bad." Alpha is not always "good."

The idea is to show a LITTLE vulnerability and then shut up and let her show a lot more.

crossroads95 · 2014-09-25T17:18:12+00:00

Right thanks everyone, looked at all the comments, especially the two clips.

It makes sense to me now that it's not exactly beta to tell these things, but alpha in that you are being beta and not giving a fuck.

But i don't know of any stories or things that happened to me being vulnerable that i can talk about.

I went through a fucking hell of a battle to get visitation rights to my son, but i'd just feel like i was whining if i divulged this informaton with a woman

Title	Being vulnerable - Mark Manson's Models; is it Beta?
Author	The_BitterTruth
Upvotes	9
Comments	12
Date	September 24, 2014 9:09 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2hd9be/being_vulnerable_mark_mansons_models_is_it_beta/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/being-vulnerable-mark-mansons-models-is-it-beta.21728 https://theredarchive.com/post/21728

Comments