Pussies, ass-pirates, and homos alike… aka new posters... remember this:

Your wives want to be sluts. They want to get railed. They want to scream with reckless abandon. They want a bad-ass mother-fucker to make them feel hot, wanted, and steamed-up with passion.

They want to get fucked.

Christ, did you forget that? Long ago, and in a universe far, far away, before you became a video game-playing, dungeon-mastering, masturbating asshole? Before your latest Fortnite skin became all the rage? Before you started commenting on gay-ass pornhub videos and imagining your days with a blowup doll? Before your "dream night" became a six-pack and a gay-ass movie on Netflix?

Or did you simply never learn?

Or, perhaps you have gone to the proverbial dark side and fear that you can never get back?

You faggots forget this a lot: They're on your side. (Until they're not.)

But, until they're not, they're more on your side than you realize.

Much more.

Why? Because just like you, they want to get laid. Christ on a crucifix. It's that simple. They want to get laid. And the only thing standing in the way of them getting laid is… well… you.

You.

You fairies are standing in the way of your wives' desire to get laid.

You don't even realize that. You are your own worst enemy, and at the same time, theirs too.

You are the fucking enemy.

You get so caught up in your Robert Smith-like angst that you forget… within every prudish bitch telling you to (1) do the laundry, (2) wash your penis, (3) mow the lawn, (4) take out the garbage, (5) change the brat's diapers, (6) put the fucking toilet seat down, (7) buy some gluten-free bread, or (8) head by their mother's house to pick up some paperwork... there is a passionate, sweaty whore... waiting to be fucked by someone who has the balls to fuck her.

Why not be you? After all, it's not like all your neighbors are lining up to run a train on her ass, right?

I get it. Maybe you're not there yet.

Maybe you've fallen so far from grace that it's, well, disgraceful.

But, you can get back to the mountaintop.

That's what Mohammad says, right?

Give her what you want.

But more importantly - and as you've forgotten - give her what she wants too.

Edit: My wife just texted me nudes from Victoria's Secret. Why? Is it because I'm so hawt? So amazing? So fabulous? No, it's because I stopped getting in my own fucking way and stopped stepping on my own dick. I stopped being my own worst enemy. I had my reasons, you have yours. Just fucking get over it. Christ. Enjoy life. Enjoy your wife. She's there for the taking. If you don't take her someone else will. Dick.

Edit 2: After posting this, my wife demanded I come to the side of the bed and blew me. Again. This is the same woman who didn't give many blowjobs in the past. Like I said, I am no longer my own worst enemy.