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Guy dumps gf, gf makes sextape, guy finds it when back together. Relationships war ensues

SunshineAndLollypops
September 25, 2014
53 upvotes
/r/TheRedPill
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Post Information
Title Guy dumps gf, gf makes sextape, guy finds it when back together. Relationships war ensues
Author

SunshineAndLollypops
Upvotes 53
Comments 86
Date September 25, 2014 11:06 PM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2hh6cp/guy_dumps_gf_gf_makes_sextape_guy_finds_it_when/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/guy-dumps-gf-gf-makes-sextape-guy-finds-it-when.227935
https://theredarchive.com/post/227935
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Comments

[–]Plan_of_Action 27 points28 points29 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for posting this. Seriously. Thanks. I needed to read this. Just broke up with a cheating whore, and I'm on the fence about spinning her as a plate. I'll be sure to wait until I'm balls deep in another before I make any irrational decisions.

[–]Watermelon_Salesman8 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Don't spin a cheating ex. She doesn't deserve to cum on your dick. She deserves the stake.

[+]slcjosh -9 points-8 points-7 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

I say spin her just never get attached. Treat her like she treated you.

[–]RXRob 31 points32 points33 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. Never do anything with an ex

[–]slcjosh 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

This is also decent advice. It depends on your frame. If you can hold it and lead the interactions it's all good. If you're too emotionally attached it's a bad plan.

[–]Rfvthn 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It's an ex there's always going to be emotional attachment after

[–]DevilishRogue -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Not necessarily. Ex's can be spun provided you maintain internal frame.

[–]Rfvthn 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It just comes off as desperate to me. Just find another plate

[–]Dark_Shroud 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

This can only cause more problems, especially if you still have common friends and social circles.

[–]slcjosh 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure this is a fair point. But you can still use her in other ways. Social Proof, increase your value. If other women you are interested in see you with her, it can be quite beneficial.

[–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 25 points26 points27 points 11 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

I love reading things like this. This kind of stuff happens so regularly now you can predict every movement if you know what to look for.

When a woman suggests taking a break it's so she can fuck someone else and still think she is a morally superior being. She is planning on coming back to you and is using you as a safety net.

Note that as soon as they were on break she let loose with her wild side and fucked every which way. This is her getting her alpha fux.

Also note that many of those acts are things that she wouldn't do with him even though he had wanted to. This means he wasn't attractive enough for her to consider worth it. This guy doesn't do it for her. That also means that he most likely isn't enough of a man to tell her to go fuck herself and her crying will be enough to put him back in his place.

If your girl ever suggests you take a break make sure you happily agree and never go back when she comes calling.

[–]Azrael_Manatheren 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Except I was the one who initiated the break because I kissed another girl.

But I would say that I am much more attractive than the other guy. 5'11" 185lbs 8%BF. But what I am thinking is possibly I am too submissive for her and I need to change that(at least coming from certain responses here).

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

No man has ever been hurt by never submitting to a woman. Sure she may leave, but she'll keep coming back even after she's married.

[–]Azrael_Manatheren 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Im not sure what you are saying.

Are you saying that even if I become more aggressive she will still leave?

Or are you saying that if I become aggressive and drop her she will keep coming back?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

At a certain point what you want will make you not want to be with only one woman, but after the breakup she will want more.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Azrael_Manatheren -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What do you mean by gear?

I lift RAW if that is what you are asking from my stats on /r/Fitness

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Pathetic rant:

A girl went on break with me in college one time out of the blue. I had a class which involved travel with her, and she always had this fat friend with her. She asked to head out together after the break and I obliged (like a bitch). Towards the end of the first few days there would be girl "subtle" communication on whether she was going to get back together with me and she would shake her head hesitantly.

Fuck that. I decided to go to class when I felt like it. She felt the humiliation of going by my suite when I wasn't there, showing my suitemates that I had stood her up. I have no idea when she stopped coming by my suite to head to class. One time she ran into me (from behind even though I walk at a brisk pace), so physically it would only be possible if she would always walk fast to try to find me. She saw me. Elatedly yelled my name ran up to me. I talked of nothing but her other hot suitemate, which I had run into at the cafe before heading out.

She hid her emotion and walked faster than my pace. I kept my pace. I said, "Why are you walking faster... I'll see you in class in 10 seconds," because we were literally before class. Last chance for her at the last day of class. Teacher says we can leave if we have things to do. Tryhards stay. I am the only one to get out immediately. I didn't even zip up my backpack. I grabbed it shut with my hand as you would nape a puppy, electronics hanging out.

As I got my things ready, she made one last attempt to mouth to me to meet her for dinner. I looked through her, before I turned my head and walked off.

She hasn't dated anyone since then (my current girlfriend keeps tabs on her out of jealousy of me being with her first and she told me recently), and I took her virginity. This probably isn't worth posting, but that story turned a shitty situation into something I love reminiscing of. Fuck that bitch.

[–]robot-b 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck that. I decided to go to class when I felt like it

pathetic or not, it seems like you learnt an important lesson from it. Attempt to improve every day and you can then truthfully say you have no regrets

[–]Plan_of_Action 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have trouble standing my ground in situations like this. The moment I feel that I've regained control it's really hard not to indulge in "please take me back, I'll do anything" sex. I get off on the power trip.

[–]JustSoha 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If your girl ever suggests you take a break make sure you happily agree and never go back when she comes calling.

THIS. i'm trying to upvote you more than just one time but i can't. fuck reddit

[–]1spicy_fries 49 points50 points51 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[-] TheThickestNobleman 30 Points 17:28:31, 25 September This is bullshit, OP. Just because she was comfortable with something before doesn't mean she has to be now. And it seems like maybe she was experimenting. Maybe she didn't enjoy it.

Also, you want to know why it seems like she enjoyed the sex more? Because she was in a sex tape! People are going to watch it, even if it's just her and her friends, so of course she's going to go all out making it seem like it's the best sex ever.

This fucking faggot. OP has videotape evidence and this motherfucka is white knighting to the bitter end.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]herewegoaga1n 8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Tips le fedora...m'lady. /s

[–]ziggitypumziggitypim 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Only a fat white knight would say this. A giant fat white whale of a knight.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it'd be easy to see if she enjoyed it in the fucking video.

[–]arrayay 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't know why he assumes she's not still comfortable with it. I guarantee she is still very comfortable with it, just not with beta bux boyfriend.

[–]2comment 18 points19 points20 points 11 years ago (35 children) | Copy Link

This is blue pill example flair, for sure. This guy either has no other options, perceives he has none, or bought into the "Relationship Uber Alles" shit modern women talk a big game about but don't back up with actions.

I am struggling to get over it and I am thinking we can work past this since we have worked past other things in our past. What I am really wondering is what would you suggest that could help us move past this.

Leave. Leave, wander the streets, pick up your balls, whereever you left them, and don't look back.

[–]Azrael_Manatheren -4 points-3 points-2 points 11 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link

I have options, granted not good ones. I just moved in with her.

But I am all for making this relationship work if I can. I dont give up on much.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Azrael_Manatheren -5 points-4 points-3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Was a threesome with one couple for 1 night, I think its more because of the amount of sex tapes in the folder but then again I only watched the one that I knew was my SO. She says that it was only one night.

I wouldn't exaggerate it as orgies and they have only recently become my friends. They have always been friends with her.

I am fairly certain that I am going to shut the friends out for sure.

I am not sure if I am going to leave my SO though.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

If your girlfriend did that to you I am confident that if I met her I could fuck her. OP leave, please. Or have hate anal sex with no lube.

[–]Azrael_Manatheren 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Pretty sure she wouldnt. I am confident enough in her that she wouldnt. Props on the confidence though.

And anal with no lube is no good for anyone lol. At least for me, shit hurts...

I am strangely surprised by TRP though. It isnt as bad as most people state it is, at least in my brief visit.

[–]Red_Pill_Theory 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

We're not the evil monsters they make us out to be. We're good people from all walks of life.

With that said, I think you should end things with your current girlfriend. The fact that she won't do those things for you (even though she supposedly loves you) proves that she doesn't respect you as much as she should. Mark my words, if you stay, this girl will eventually burn you by leaving you for another man that she deems better than you. The fact that she won't do things with you that she's done with others proves she doesn't see you as high value enough.

[–]Azrael_Manatheren -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

We actually talked last night and she said that she just wasnt ready because we had a pretty rough relationship before but would do it now.(She actually bought some and wanted to surprise me apparently, but then all this shit happened)

Honestly I am not sure that I would want to do bondage right now. At the very least I dont want to do it for a while.

[–]Red_Pill_Theory 8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I strongly urge you to end things. People say relationships take work, and they do, but some things you can't move past. Seeing her have sex with someone else is something that will always be in your mind and will always bother you and I can see this causing more issues in the future. I'm sure you love this girl, but you're putting her on a pedestal whether you know it consciously. She is not special. She is not unique.

Thanks for checking out TRP and being cordial. Even if you do not agree with what we say, it is refreshing to have visitors who are polite. I know it can be tough sorting out all the feelings, but this is the time to use logic and reasoning. Good luck with your situation.

[–]jobs33ker 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Pretty sure she wouldnt. I am confident enough in her that she wouldnt.

Who are you trying to convince here?

[–]2johnnight 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

"You are insane. This isnt something you can work past in my opinion... She has already tried and is already making excuses on how she may do it again.."

Who am I quoting?

[–]Azrael_Manatheren -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

But she isnt making excuses on how she may do it again. She says she regrets it and her actions to me have shown that she does. Otherwise I would agree and I would peace out regardless of the fact that we just moved in together.

[–]2johnnight 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

She will tell you whatever you need to be told so that her goals are achieved and not feel any moral doubt about it, because at this moment she is believing what she is saying. She has to believe for it to work.

If we could ask you to do us an empirical favor, stay with her and return with a field report in 6 months. The only advice I can give is to emotionally hedge your bets in the sense of not putting your whole self-worth on it working well.

[–]Azrael_Manatheren -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

As I am fairly certain that I am going to stay with her I can do that for you.

And my whole self-worth is based on the fact that no matter what I do I will succeed. Not on if I can work through a relationship. I appreciate it though. Too many males try to base their self worth on how things work for them. It doesnt matter. Your self worth is based on you. Not other people. Hell just your worth alone is based on you.

Try to remind me in about 6 months.

[–]RedPillRally 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'll do my best to remind you.

Thanks for coming and reading this thread by the way.

[–]Azrael_Manatheren 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No problem, its actually changed my view of TRP as a whole. I was pretty ignorant of it and had some pretty bad views of it. Now not so much.

I mean I think some on here maybe retarded but its definitely not as bad as reddit or /r/relationships makes it out to be.

[–]Glurpies 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Woman don't lie like men do. In fact, most of the time they don't lie at all. They fully believe what they say. Then later, when they want something else, they automatically change what they believe to suit the situation. They don't consciously realize what they're doing. Reality is much more subjective to them.

[–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

We men are natural fixers. When we see a problem we want a solution. The problem is when that happens we sometimes abandon logic. I think you are getting into the sunk cost fallacy

You are trying to justify keeping this relationship even though I think you know it's bad for you to do so. You are feeling kind of trapped at the moment and duty bound to find a solution to this. You don't have to do that anymore. You don't need that weight on you. You need to realize that another woman can be just as great as this one without having those images flying through your head of her enjoying the fuck out of sex acts she wouldn't do with you. When a woman refuses you sex acts that she willingly gives to other men it means she doesn't think of you in a lustful way. She wants you around as her emotional or financial supporter.

[–]Azrael_Manatheren 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

That was brought up in /r/relationships because I am going to be a doctor in another year and a half.

[–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I see. You are her safe bet at this point then. You are a meal ticket and that great guy that she has on a hopeful lockdown for the future. You are half of what a woman dreams about. Women have a dualistic desire for what they want in a man. We around her call it the alpha fux/beta bux. They want a strong masculine man who turns them on. He is dominant and in control. This is what revs their sex drive. On the other side of that they want their beta bux aka the provider type. The guy that will pay for everything and sit and listen to their stories and give them all of his resources. This guy gets no respect and no lust. He is the picture perfect definition of the friend zoned guy

Most men don't fit into either category perfectly and are a weird mix of both. If you want a LTR you need both sides of that but we need more alpha and less beta. This is when we get more respect and women do less trapping questions or shit tests as we call them here.

Women aren't the only ones with a dualistic sexual strategy. Men do the same thing but its more of a whore/virgin. We lust after the whore but wouldn't marry her. We love the virgin but she doesn't rev us up much.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Azrael_Manatheren 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I thought cuckolding was if she was going to have sex with this dude in front of me to assert her dominance?

Let me know if I have that concept wrong.

[–]RedPillRally 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Doesn't have to be in front of you; it includes any sex she has that you've basically permitted by your own lack of maintaining ground.

So if she cheats once or twice and then you find out but the penalty isn't harsh and she keeps cheating that still counts.

[–]Azrael_Manatheren -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, Ya, if anything happens like this again im gone or even if I feel disrespected im not afraid to leave either.

[–]TheSKSpecial 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

"Again"? If she had any respect for you it wouldn't have happened the FIRST time. Or at least she would have been as open to what you want to do as she was on film.

You're operating from a real position of weakness, she doesn't see you as sexually attractive, and you're setting yourself up for more problems down the line. I strongly recommend you bail.

[–]ATrashMan 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You may have 'options' but do you know what you do not have? Respect for yourself. Some things are never worth saving. This is one of them.

[–]Watermelon_Salesman2 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

How old are you? (seriously)

EDIT: You replied that you're 23 and deleted the comment. Why?

[–]pachan 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

But I am all for making this relationship work if I can.

why would you after she shit on you?

[–]Azrael_Manatheren -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Because things are different from when we had broken up to now. As in completely different, we are in a better place right now than we have ever been and I can truly say that I am happy with our relationship with the exception of finding the video.

I knew that they had sex but we weren't together and had no plans of ever getting back together so its not like she did anything wrong necessarily but the way I feel isnt invalidated by that fact.

[–]ATrashMan 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It is not a very intelligent or manly thing to ignore your gut. You are on the internet complaining about this and for good reason. Go with your gut and next this cum dumpster.

[–]TRP VanguardtrpSenator 10 points11 points12 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

The dumbasses are so evident:

She probably trusts them more than she trusts OP because OP cheated on her. Pretty big detail to leave out, and I'm sure he wants his SO to look like the bad guy. But are you gonna trust a man to tie you up in bed and still respect your boundaries if he has previously demonstrated he doesn't respect boundaries?

The guy basically kissed a girl and immediately told her afterwards. Then this bitch all of a sudden thinks that's reason to believe that if she ever gets tied up, it's good reason to worry he may beat the shit out of her... LOL. These fucking people, man.

[–]asarkany 4 points4 points4 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah, and there is worse. One of my friend has a gf who is really jealous, and stuff, and basically she forbid him to watch porn or even fap. Somehow she figured out that he watched porn after this(I guess she checked the internet history, not sure), and fucked an other guy, to tell my buddy that "that's how she feels, when he watches porn". And after that he literally begged himself back to the girl. I knew nothing about RP back then, but this was just fucking unbelievable, now I know he is just as beta as someone can.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I've never seen it, but I'm sure some girls would enjoy manipulating and shit-testing a guy so as to reduce him down into a sniveling beta chump so they can then kick his worthless ass to the curb.

In every case I've seen, beta regression is self-induced. Guy's take the fucking chumps path.

[–]2mbillion 20 points21 points22 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I always wonder what these losers consider their deal breakers. I will cut things off with a woman for much much much much much lesser grievances. I cannot understand how they still think their relationship is going to work

[–]MHOOD01 8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The fear of being lonely makes people say and do dumb shit.

Dudes these days will burn anyone just to keep some girl.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Women will do the nastiest sexual acts if you give her enough tingle. If I found a video of my girl doing sexual acts that she said she doesn't do because she's 'not like that,' I dump her because she doesn't perceive me as alpha.

[–]JamesK1973 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

He needs to hold his frame and move her ass out.

[–]RedPillRally 13 points14 points15 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

This is a very common example we see here.

Up for debate was her respect for him (I would argue she didn't have any) but I will hands-down say she didn't respect the relationship and this proves it.

I've been pretty quiet on this sub but today I want to talk about this.

She's not obligated to do anything with him. She's not obligated to suck his dick. She's not obligated to eat his asshole. She's not obligated to do anal. She's not obligated to do anything...

It's fine that she opts to not do any of those things.

The boundary crossed (and part where he should be upset) is the part where she decides to go do all sorts of things with someone else. It's her right... I get that, but it's also his right to be offended and upset.

It's completely disrespectful. She also likely did it all out of spite; just because they broke up.

[–]vicious_armbar 15 points15 points15 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah it was all done out of spite. With friends they hang out with! And she still won't do those things with him after they got back together. He needs to run the other way fast as hell!

[–]bobbybluepill 8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the major issue.

He needs to leave her and these friends in his past.

[–]1independentmale 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

The guy doesn't do it for her. Simple as that. He's probably super respectful and submissive in bed, so she plays the good girl role for him. It may not be what he really wants, but if it's all he's able to command it's all he's going to get.

This is typical, women will do all kinds of nasty shit for the right guy. He isn't the right guy. He needs to next this bitch ASAP.

Actually, if I were in his shoes, I'd demand some freaky sex yesterday. Let her put out or get out. I don't settle for a woman's leftovers, if she can't give herself to me at least as much as she has to others, I don't want her.

[–]Azrael_Manatheren 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

I may be, thanks for pointing this out to me.

I just have never felt comfortable asserting dominance because I am an aggressive (Collegiate Wrestler) guy and many people get freaked out when I do it.

I mean I am a larger guy that's whole sporting career has revolved around being able do dominate people. I am 185 at 5-10% body fat. With some decent lifts for my size and around 8 years of combat training.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Props to you for sticking through the criticism.

[–]Azrael_Manatheren 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I dont mind criticism, if the internet could fuck with me enough to actually bother me I wouldnt be man enough to be an adult.

Appreciate the compliment though.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I would have to say you should leave if she was only willing to do certain things with people who arent you. She isn't very into you if she would put out the freaky stuff for every other guy but you. People are going to say you aren't entitled to have that kind of sex with her and they are right. It doesn't change the fact that apparently you arent good enough for her to want to do those things with you.

There's the red pill reply disguised as blue pill advice. That's how you have to talk to these people... As if they're made of glass.

[–]1raceAround126 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The OP is stuck in that all too familiar trap whereby his girl has demonstrated that he's the lowest on her sexual respect spectrum as she does only vanilla. But that blue pill is telling him he can't break up with her because he won't do any better or he will he alone forever.

He won't leave. He will just he shamed into being jealous and upset by her actions and HOW DARE HE.

And to the idiots who recommended counselling? Fuck sake wrong! Counsellors just tell men that they're unreasonable ans should be ashamed.

Inwas fucking someone's fiance for a long time. She did shit with me that she said numerous times she would never do with her future husband. Its eerie now that I realize that there are sex tapes. I have a couple but she has them too.

He actually found me and confronted me. I told him to stop being a pussy and dump her as she was a slag. I do wonder if seeing sex tapes she was in would sway his opinion a little further... Maybe the one where I'm leading her naked around their house on a dog leash?

[–]FullMetalAsshole 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

When I read M/F/F/F I thought holy shit I wanna be that guy. Then I realized I'm slowly getting there and s'all good in the hood.

Love how she called the bf after it happened. I had an ex do that after some dude she was with was "hanging out" with one of her best friends. My eventual breakdown was the lowest and most blue pill moment of my life.

Got a feeling this guy will swallow the pill soon.

[–]bobjoe177 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Holy fuck this can't be real can it? Poor little guy never even stood a chance.

[–]cray-cray-cray 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't feel bad for a lot of guys in horrible beta situations, but I actually feel really bad for that guy.

[–]inlovethenwhat 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow. I think about myself two years ago, and this very well could have happened to me by now. The fact that I visit here and live my life ensures that I will likely never have to be in that poor shmuck's position. I've never been more grateful to have discovered this way of life.

The worst part is I can clearly visualize how this guy feels. He's so trapped into thinking this girl is someone special. None of them are special, only you are special.

We are single conscious beings, and when we die no one is coming with us. It is only our minds that go. We are all alone, never forget that. Near your death it is only yourself you will judge. Be the ideal person in your life, and don't think some other person will give your life meaning (this poor loser's biggest mistake).

[–][deleted] 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]WeAreAllSheep -3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I would feel bad for him if he actually provided a link and some proof. Otherwise I just assume those posts are troll attempts.

What's he got to lose by showing us the video? People in his life have already seen it. So what's the big deal if a bunch of random internet folk see it.

[–]Azrael_Manatheren 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Because fuck the internet. Plus I already deleted it.

I am not going to give that shit for someone elses satisfaction.

[–][deleted] 11 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Azrael_Manatheren 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

What is the hamster mentality?

If anything happened like this again it would be over, no questions. I have way more self respect than that.

A.) I agree, although they were her friends only until I got back with my SO so that changes things a bit. But either way I think im going to cut them out.

B.)I dont know if I am going to end it. But I am taking into account all of the advice here. Which as my biased view before this was that the TRP were all idiots I have to say that it isnt true because I have gotten pretty good advice here so far.

  • Already a beast in the gym.
  • And I am already a man
  • But I will look at the literature in the side bar. So far this thread has changed my view of TRP.

Greatly appreciate the advice.

[–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't know where it came from but hamster refers to the hamster wheel that people run their brain with. It specifically means the rationalizations or justifications that people use to lie to themselves and others to make their decisions seem ok. Men and women use these much differently.

For women they will always rationalize their accountability or purity. "I cheated on brad but it's ok because he was distant that one time and I'm not going to tell him because it wouldn't change anything and it would only hurt him to know it"

Men use it to justify their fear. "I'm not going to go talk to someone like her because she is hot enough to already have a boyfriend and I'm sure she's had enough guys hit on her for tonight." Also "I know I should have asked for a raise but the boss is a busy man and I know that if I go bother him he won't be happy"

Anyways, I'm glad that you found the place. If you want to fix this relationship it is possible. You need to learn how to control yourself a lot more and how to control the world around you. I strongly recommend that you don't fix this one though.

If you have dated a girl and you get to witness her with another dude you are going to have that image in your mind forever. When you two are intimate together a year or two from now you are going to have that video pop back up in your mind and that same cocktail of emotions is going to flood you. You are going to feel the guilt, anger, betrayal, loss of self respect for just brushing it aside so easily, the hopelessness of having this girl forever.

Those images are going to haunt you forever and I strongly suggest getting a new girl to start over with. You should get someone who doesn't deny you sexual experiences and then give those same experiences to other people happily and she should get someone who hasn't seen her give herself to someone else so easily.

What you need is an abundance mentality. It's basically the whole "other fish in the sea" thought process. You need to realize that this girl is just one of billions and that you aren't destined to be with her. You get to choose your path in life and you should choose one that doesn't make you so miserable.

[–]Azrael_Manatheren 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

+1

I remember when I felt like that(I was a bitch when I first started college). When I wouldnt do something and justify it with the fact that I might fail or that I just was playing it safe.

I hope that I am not doing it now and it doesnt feel like I am doing that now but if things dont get better for me and I cant get over this I am not afraid of ending the relationship. Its not like I dont get offers from other girls I just think the relationship is worth it.

Thanks for the explanation!

[–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You won't be able to get over it. You will just have to swallow your pride and tolerate it if you want to fix this. You need to look at what kind of message that sends to her and to all the people around you. It shows all of them that you are they type of guy who tolerates that kind of behavior. This is a subconscious thing and not something that they will have a control over. Exactly like you aren't having complete control over how you felt watching those videos.

They will have subconscious feelings of massive disrespect for you. She desperately wants you to tolerate her behavior but if you do she will lose respect for you and you may never get it back. Honestly it sounds like you didn't have much from her in the first place.

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