BP guy puts his career and education on hold for his woman. Makes the mistake of sharing how it makes him feel with her.

FLFTW16 · 2014-09-02T18:30:06+00:00

Again, the basics illustrated.

Don't make large sacrifices for women. They will not appreciate it, and this is a perfect illustration of the first corollary to Briffault's law:

Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association.

The dude put his career back by years for her, and the first time she has to face any consequences -- which in this case, is simply being aware that sacrifices were made -- out he goes. She can't be reminded of his weakness.
Don't, for the love of fucking God spill your heart out to her. Women want a rock, they don't want some weak boy feeling bad about being weak.

The dude already demonstrated that he didn't value himself when he put her above him. Him having feelings about that repulsed her.
Notice the total lack of empathy and subsequent rationalization that he was intentionally guilting her.

It's a perfect example of what will happen if you ever let her needs override yours.

Edit: Some of her later comments in the thread smell suspiciously like troll. Apologies, gentlemen, if that's the case. It gets very Poe-ish, sometimes.

Ymeynotu · 2014-09-02T20:22:57+00:00

This reminds me of my #1 life rule to never forget that

"You'll lose money chasing women but youll never lose women chasing money."

Cyralea · 2014-09-02T19:23:23+00:00

Your career and/or money-making potential is everything to you as an adult male. There is virtually no reason you should ever jeopardize that, but especially not for pussy.

The effect losing your job has on a woman's attraction is an act Houdini would be proud of.

thebears1986 · 2014-09-02T19:30:40+00:00

This is her Kate Bolick moment. She is 30 and been with the guy for 6 years. 10 years from now she will look back and say, "Maybe I shouldn't have done that."

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/308654/?single_page=true

FortunateBum · 2014-09-02T21:37:23+00:00

TL;DR: She started making significantly more money than him and decided to find some dumb excuse to dump him. Pretty simple.

phil_mcrevis · 2014-09-02T20:42:34+00:00

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Frozen_Tundra · 2014-09-02T21:23:36+00:00

I saw that and just shook my head. I thought it was a troll post.

Guy gives up his education and career, moves all for her and she shows him is a boot to the curb and then turns to the internet to validate her actions.

I have to give TwoX some credit here for the majority calling her out on her callousness. What she did was REAL cold.

God when will men learn to stop putting women on a pedestal.

mordanus · 2014-09-02T23:04:34+00:00

The depression was there before me, and it will probably be there after me. I need to focus on myself. I'm not going to let someone guilt me into anything.

Can you hear the squeal of the hamster wheel gents? She is looking back on all of his sacrifices and saying she gives less than two shits for it. Saying that she isn't going to be guilted into something is her hamster squealing that she isn't going to return any favors that he has given her. Never give more to a woman than she gives to you. It will not be returned

I'm pretty hurt and torn up about the whole thing

Of course you are sweetheart. Someone asked you to put something ahead of yourself and you know that it's impossible. He might as well have asked you to eat the sun.

He's a fine man, and a good lover and provider

Nothing quite as sexy as being called a good provider. I bet he feels completely valued by wasting his time with this dumb cunt.

alisonstone · 2014-09-02T18:35:35+00:00

We always know how it ends for guys who end their careers to follow a woman. He is probably lucky that she decided to give him the coup de grâce instead of dragging his body down the street with a pickup truck. He is young enough that he has a chance to recover. Many women would leave him around, cuckold him, let him do all the chores and housework, and then put him down when he finally maxes out his credit lines.

People will do what is best for themselves, and when stuff like career and money is involved, they will rationalize it to their own benefit. Women, even if she is your girlfriend, are not an exception.

2014-09-02T19:32:52+00:00

I remember when I used to be like this. I'm cringing just thinking about it.

BigOlCob · 2014-09-02T22:50:45+00:00

[-] MaskOfTheBratasm 1 Points 17:36:43, 2 September It's probably not right for him at all, but it is for me at this point. I feel pretty cheated. You can't do something no one asked you to do in the first place, and then turn around and get mopey when it didn't turn out the way you wanted.

He fell on his sword 3 years ago because, and I quote, "I'd rather delay my goals so you can succeed rather than never seeing yours come true." Well, he got what he wanted.

That's pretty fucking cold.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-09-02T19:23:06+00:00

I sat down with him to talk, and flat out asked him why he didn't laugh anymore. I asked him if he was depressed, or if he was feeling any latent sadness over his decision to move to a new town / put his dreams on hold. He was pretty confused about it, so I kept pushing him to just come out with it and tell me what was wrong. I asked him why he laughed with his friends, and not with me. He was pretty down about the whole talk that we had.

O pweeze tell me your feeewings. I will wuv u even more.

I decided to revisit it a few days later to see if he was more forthcoming. He finally admitted that he had been feeling depressed and working through it with his therapist. I asked if I should be worried that he was depressed, and if he was considering suicide. He was pretty hurt by the comment, but I told him that these are things that I need to know.

Open up, that's what they tell us to do. That will help the relationship.

He spent the next 2 hours explaining that he was tired of it, "never being his turn." that every time he had tried to pursue his career / education, something with me came up, and we needed to focus on that. He said that it had been wearing on him, but he was fine.

I took a few days and decided to end our relationship. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but I think it's what's best for the both of us. He decided to end his own academic pursuits to help me, and chose to end his career to come with me out west. He did it of his own accord and wasn't tricked into it. I don't want someone who thinks that I'm the reason he's not happy. The depression was there before me, and it will probably be there after me. I need to focus on myself. I'm not going to let someone guilt me into anything.

And BOOM goes the dynamite. He left his career to be with her and all was good until he DARED complain about him being in the back seat.

TLDR: If you are in the back seat just fuck her there. If you worry about it and get depressed- if you CARE, then she is going to be gone. If he had told her firmly what his plan was going forward this still could have been salvaged.

Brifaults Law strikes again. Don't doubt it.

MartialWay · 2014-09-02T21:22:45+00:00

I'm guessing this all coincided with the moment there was no more juice to squeeze. You can only sacrifice so much before there is nothing more to take. She realized it the same moment he did. She just turned 30, needs more secure BB for kids. The career he supported suddenly put her in touch with higher status guys.

redpillbanana · 2014-09-03T01:00:19+00:00

Christ, he makes 30% of my salary.

Does she even realize that he has put his advancement on hold for her benefit?

PersianVino · 2014-09-02T21:59:46+00:00

Check out one of her replies to the comments. From the sound of it, she never respected him. A woman can never love a man she doesn't respect.

"This whole thing started when I noticed that he wasn't laughing anymore.. Like, genuinely laughing. He had suffered from depression in the past, but had been better for a while.

I mean, I took the advice and sat down to talk with him to seeing what was bothering him. I don't have time for games, and after 6 years, he should know that.

I give plenty to this relationship. If he wants to go out and ride motorcycles all day, fine. I help keep the house up. Christ, he makes 30% of my salary. We are in this house because of me. We have the life that we have because of me. He invested in me, and he's seeing returns and he feels he's got the right to be sad about it? He wants to go back to school to finish, by all means- go back! Want to find a different career? I'm not stopping you.

I guess I'm failing to see what the problem here is. I just wanted to laugh and see the funny, joyful man I met years ago. If he's depressed again... that would be awful. I'd love to stick by his side to help, but I'm out of my depth. He's got a therapist and an okay paying job. I think he likes it here. He'll do well."

redpillschool · 2014-09-02T18:25:00+00:00

Priceless:

I need to focus on myself. I'm not going to let someone guilt me into anything.

At the end of the day, she's right and he's wrong. TRP would had advised him against the moves that he did, his only fault is to have listened to everyone: family, friends, movies, etc... to make sacrifices for her because he loved her, we at TRP know better; therefore as harsh as it might sound, she's right, he's wrong.

2014-09-02T21:24:27+00:00

A "Fine man" would never compromise his dreams for a women. He was a doormat then complained about being a doormat. You're not powerless, you can put yourself first.

Jessej80 · 2014-09-03T02:50:46+00:00

first class skank...

that is all

BigOlCob · 2014-09-02T22:35:34+00:00

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rain_delay · 2014-09-03T00:57:25+00:00

Damn that was a good read. I've been through this enough in my BP days. If this isn't a troll post then it's nice to see the perspective from a woman's point of view.

A woman will never love you. You not like you love them. The sooner men can learn this the better. I hope this hits him hard and he can see where he fucked up.

2014-09-03T04:29:17+00:00

You know you fucked up when even trollxchromosomes isn't taking your side.

the10thrider · 2014-09-02T22:11:53+00:00

I won't be surprised if he ends up killing himself. What a shame.

deaduponaviral · 2014-09-03T00:19:37+00:00

Remember what Patrice would say? My woman is like number seven on my list of needs...right below my mother and far behind myself and my career.

ChristopherBurr · 2014-09-03T07:50:00+00:00

he left school but got an education anyway

Icecoffee965 · 2014-09-03T02:31:14+00:00

Yet another real life example of how the ideal of being the "nice guy" is nothing more than being a trampled doormat.

2014-09-03T04:42:10+00:00

Try and think about this from the woman's point of view. Women need partners who are strong, mature, and capable of taking care of themselves (cause if they can't, then how will he take part in caring for the partner or (potential) family? Why would she settle for less?

What this guy is demonstrating, is his lack of ability to TAKE CONTROL OF HIS LIFE WITH GOOD JUDGEMENT. Career and education should always be the #1 priority for a person. To sacrifice this for the appeasement of others is absolutely PATHETIC. The reason why he is not happy is because HE PUT HIS LIFE ON HOLD FOR HER instead of going with the flow and pursuing his dreams.

It sounds to me like this woman is somewhat torn up about this (I mean, she took the time to submit it on Reddit). But this guy is a prime text book example of "Nice Guy (TM)"

It sort of sounds like myself in my blue pill days, I went through a similar situation and I don't blame my girlfriend for leaving me. I was unhappy, and she was unhappy with me.. I'm grateful to have learned to ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR ASPIRATIONS and to never sacrifice that FOR ANYTHING.

tl;dr : Do what you desire most in life; let relationships follow.

johnbranflake · 2014-09-03T13:28:42+00:00

There but by the grace of the red pill goes i. I almost followed a woman and would have given up some good opportunities to do so.

2014-09-03T13:52:48+00:00

The linked post reeks of troll, I'd be careful.

2014-09-03T15:35:22+00:00

The clearest thing to me about her post is the he was guilt tripping her lol.

He was upset about always having her life first and she thinks he has no right to feel that way becuase it is in fact all about her. Anything else is a guilt trip.

Fucking crazy how it took her a few days the throw away a finace and years of commitment from him.

And she hopes he doesn't try guilting the next one so that he can be happy.

It's a fucking joke really. I mean men and women can be callous and abusive. TRP to me is more about spotting those abusive traits and how to protect myself from them.

johnnight · 2014-09-03T17:19:22+00:00

I need to focus on myself. I'm not going to let someone guilt me into anything. I'm pretty hurt and torn up about the whole thing. I'm strong enough to get through it...

"Me, me, my feelings and somebody sympathize with me." Only a woman would make a guy's depression into an attention whoring story about her.

Notice that both her posts are about solving HER problem, not his problem. His problem is his depression, which has no quick, rational solution. Her problem is that him feeling depressed makes her feel bad and this has to stop, now!

I have told him time and time again how much I love and support him and how GRATEFUL I am for him- but I'm not going to let him make me feel bad.

So she gave him 7 days to become happy again and ruthlessly cut him off after that. That's how psychos solve their problems: person gone, no more problem. She claims to love him, but that would require caring about another person. I don't see it here.

The truth about depression is that it takes months or years to work off. Acceptance is a neural process, wherein the brain stops being stimulated negatively by the bad memories.

Modern__Day__Pricus · 2014-09-02T23:18:31+00:00

Wow...

Fucking clueless female

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