I'm 30yo and I have experienced a lot of things. I now know for certain what it is that makes me happy. It's that feeling that the woman I'm with truly desires to be with me but only if I also truly desire to be with that woman. That feeling of giving yourself to another person. It's essentially love that I'm looking for because I have experienced this feeling before and it's the only feeling that seems worth pursuing.
The problem is that the women who I find excite me are noticeably becoming less and less common. I don't like crude, ambitious, career driven, strong women that are independent, don't need a man and who think men that find a woman sexually attractive are objectifying them. I prefer beautiful feminine women that exude sexuality and who's identity is shaped by their desire for men. Don't get me wrong, these women exist but I'm not capable of getting these women to find me attractive.
I've improved everything about myself I can already and there is no feasible path forward as far as I can tell. I've tried adapting to the way most women are now and settling myself but if the women aren't what I'm truly after I can't truly love them. I've tried numerous times already but after awhile it's obvious my heart just isn't in it no matter how much I try to make it work.
I don't have issues dating women, I just have issues dating women I can actually fall in love with. I don't have what it takes to attract women I can fall in love with. These women are rare to begin with and they tend to have endless choices of men to choose from. The only time they consider someone like me is when they've decided to settle with someone later in their lives. I can feel a woman who is settling and it doesn't make me feel happy.
Is there another path? Something else worth pursuing? Something I'm missing? I've tried moving to Eastern Europe but I haven't had any success getting a job yet. Any other solutions in this culture without having to move cultures?
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