I've noticed that a lot of my problems in dating stem from lack of self-confidence. When people test my boundaries or poke at my insecurities (something that a lot of people do to help bolster up their own self-confidence) I notice that mine starts to falter.

It's even more challenging to maintain this confidence when I know that age works against my gender, for better or worse.

I find that I'm the most self-confident when I'm single, because then there is no one in my life upon whom I'm emotionally reliant, and people often respect you the most when they don't quite have you. But I don't want to always keep people at a distance. It's quite lonely to keep everyone out.

I recently started dating again in the last few months and the first two weeks were a blast. But now that things are starting to get a little more serious between me and one guy in particular, I'm terrified of proceeding. He has a few red flags, as do most of the men that I meet. I live in a very liberal area so most people either have issues with substance use, are narcissistic, or have a ton of friends of the opposite gender. I've seen so many failed relationships around me - usually the man cheated on the woman. The ones that have survived seem to be wrought with conflict and dissatisfaction. Happy relationships are rare in the lives of the people around me, and it seems like they are made even more difficult now that social media, texting, and casual relationships are so widely accepted by society. It frightens me.