TLDR: MRP provides me with a whole series of accomplishments. Those accomplishments make me feel good. I feel happy more consistently. Wife enjoys coming into the frame of a happy man.
Yeah, that's a pretty beta-sounding title, but hear me out:
As I've dived into MRP, reading the side-bar, etc., I've noticed that I'm racking up a small list of accomplishments.
My body is starting to look in a way it's never looked before. I see muscles I didn't know I had. I'm lifting weights I didn't know I could lift. The progression of accomplishment feels good.
In learning to be more assertive, I'm not caving to people's manipulation or silly requests. I'm getting what I want more frequently at home and at work. It's progress, and it feels good.
Just bought a new house, and I'm knocking out project after project. There's still a lot to do, but I have a host of accomplishments already built up, and it feels good.
Attempting to be an alpha for my kids, they become more obedient and more cheerful in my presence. Our time together is that much sweeter when I'm consistently maintaining (or trying to maintain) frame, instead of caving to cries and whines (I've got little, little kids). It's not perfect, but it's progress. And it feels good.
Trying to game, seduce, and initiate with my wife more consistently. We're nowhere near where I want to be, but there have already been strides between us heading in the right direction. It's progress, and it feels good.
I've noticed that day-to-day, as I consider all this progress, I legitimately feel happy. I feel good. I can smile easily and broadly. I can laugh more freely.
In the recent past, this type of behavior would come with covert contracts:
- "If I provide my wife with a happy husband at dinner time, she'll have sex with me." (Nope. Didn't work. Never did.)
- "If I accomplish things around the house, my wife will agree to do what I want to do this weekend." (Nope. No correlation. Had to argue with her still to get my way.)
- "If I'm a good dad, my kids will behave which will impress my wife, and then she'll have sex with me." (Nope. Using your kids doesn't work. They hate it. She hates it. Stupid move.)
At the end of all these contracts was the idea: "... and then I'll be happy."
Now I'm trying something different. Now, I'm happy to begin with. I'm happy regardless of if I have sex or not. I'm happy regardless if I get the dishwasher all-the-way fixed today or just most-of-the-way fixed. I'm happy regardless of whether my kids are being less cooperative than normal.
I take a moment to look back on my recent pile of accomplishments. It feels good. And I feel happy.
I've noticed that this is the frame that my wife happily submits to. I know what I'm about. I'm happy with life strictly based on what I'm doing. I'm not moping. I'm not wearing some veneer beneath which I'm actually pissed off and vengeful. Neither am I actually, visibly pissed off. I'm. Just. Happy.
Shoot me feedback. If this is all beta-fag stuff that I'm misinterpreting, I'd like to know sooner rather than later.