LTR being hounded by a beta-orbiter?

superbear · 2019-09-19T11:23:02+00:00

They are never hounded by beta-orbiters. They say they are hounded but they're not. They like it, they like that they can say they are getting hounded but they're not. They're conciously enabling this behaviour in the beta-orbiter himself. They aren't annoyed by them cause if they were they would simply completely ignore them and these text messages would cease to happen within a week (max two.). They like it. The only reason that she says she is annoyed by it to make sure you think she's not an attention seeking whore.

I bet you see her receiving those text but not actually know what she's sending back. I bet you she sents in a somewhat positively way back to this dude when you're not around.

vondoom900 · 2019-09-19T11:33:05+00:00

Jim sounds like he's having massive regrets about getting his wife up the duff 😂😂

Also his beta risms are off putting and cringy. It's like he's doing your emotional leg work for nothing. I wouldn't worry he's basically her girl_friend.

Herdsengineers · 2019-09-19T13:15:27+00:00

Next time your LTR seems annoyed, tell her if she doesn't like it to stop responding. It's that simple. If he makes an issue at work, she can simply tell him she wants to keep things more professional and work related, then escalate with HR and what not from there as needed.

If she doesn't take steps to make it stop, you know she's getting off on it in some way.

TFWnoLTR · 2019-09-19T15:45:10+00:00

She is enjoying his attention and enabling it. Don't be fooled.

deathhandmachiavelli · 2019-09-19T11:42:08+00:00

I wouldn't worry about it, let him be a beta-orbiter hovering around. You can't do anything about it. If you look disturbed by his presence, your LTR will perceive you as insecure, and it will even look worse that this weak-ass beta orbiter is making you insecure.

My response would be to OCCASIONALLY crack jokes about him or laugh about something you observed about him. But don't look butthurt. Ridicule is a good way to diminish someone in a woman's eyes, but it should only be used sparingly so you don't look hostile, butthurt, jealous, or insecure.

Some girls will tell their beta-orbiters to fuck off, others just keep them around. Yours is the latter. No big deal. Like others said, she's not being hounded, girls love a lot of beta-orbiter self-esteem boosters.

I remember an ex of mine had a beta orbiter. I ended up going on a trip with this girl. He approached me and said "you're so lucky" and went on and on about how lucky I was to be able to go on this trip with this girl, I thought it was hilarious to see how pathetic this guy was.

vullnet123 · 2019-09-19T16:17:42+00:00

They’re enabling it . My ex had her ex basically stalking her at the time , constantly messaging on social media , visiting her at work , and she enabled it by never blocking him and constantly keeping him on a leash

MattyAnon · 2019-09-19T17:47:18+00:00

my LTR is the only person being nice to him

Likely yes.

Is this simply a case of a beta orbiter with an obsessive crush?

yes

How would you handle something like this?

ignore, but don't let her make it your problem.

It's her job to handle shit like this..... why does he even have her phone number anyway? It's her job to say "non work related texts are not appropriate".

Why can't she say this?

She's telling you because she wants YOU to fix HER problem that SHE has allowed to happen.

Mostly I'd laugh and point, but also say "if you want it to stop, you have to set boundaries and tell him what's not appropriate".

She won't do this because women love attention.... so it's back to laughing and pointing.

thrwy75479 · 2019-09-19T17:45:04+00:00

LTR asked me if I think he likes her

Girls typically know if a guy (alpha, beta, whatever) likes her. She may actually be uncertain about him, since he might simply be needy.

He may have issues, which are probably exacerbated because he feels isolated at work. Feel bad for him, he likely needs help.

That's not your problem, though.

papunigga031 · 2019-09-19T14:09:24+00:00

Let her show her value. If she entertains him, demote or next.

BusyHearing · 2019-09-19T16:51:13+00:00

First off, you are in the midst of a con. She actually likes this shit and implicitly does everything she can to encourage it. You would be appalled at her responses to this dude that you can not see.

Second off, this shit toxic as hell for your relationship. Don't challenge it as she will see you as weak for being threatened. But you need to position your time and and affection as being more valuable. While this simp idolizes her, you need to idolize yourself. Use supply and demand to increase the value of your attention.

Bedtimeshine · 2019-09-19T14:16:24+00:00

Why haven’t you sent this dude on his way? Her voicing that she’s annoyed dies not match up with her actions of being available to him. If people st dork think they have a thing then she ain’t acting annoyed I person. Abd the “He has no friends excuse is bullshit. Women don’t like dudes with no friends.

FuccboiChad · 2019-09-19T15:31:07+00:00

Demote the LTR to a plate or soft next if it gets worse. I don’t foresee any issues though, she just loves the attention. Make sure you are holding frame though because if you lose it this will end up hurting you. tldr don’t be bothered by Jim

Truedemocracy5 · 2019-09-19T19:35:42+00:00

If you’ve met the guy and he seems like a chum you have zero to worry about. This shit will happen, she probably likes the attention, but it won’t go anywhere trust me

It’s the ones she doesn’t talk about or barely mentions that you have to worry about. Guy is going after your girl and you are worried about her branch swinging? You should be able to tell in seconds upon meeting him if it’s a risk

skuttt · 2019-09-20T00:34:05+00:00

I don’t think being aloof is quite the best choice. You should make it clear he’s no threat but that you expect her to pay him no attention. She wants to know you have boundaries but also are not threatened. She wants to know you would defend your claim against a real threat.

mismm · 2019-09-19T12:54:29+00:00

If her phone is going off while she's with you and it's a bother, tell her to cut it. Doesn't really matter who's messaging her.

Also, her bringing up beta boy is a shit test and should be treated as such. Next time she mentions him tell her ''Aww, look at you trying to make me jealous, so cute'' then pinch her nose as if you would a 5 year old..

Red_Pill_Brotherhood · 2019-09-19T19:31:51+00:00

I dont think you have a damn thing to be worried about. This guy likes her and is a moron. Also,his body language shows he is intimidated by you and is nervous/insecure.

As always, dont act weak, keep your value high and dont show mateguarding or any of that.

KuritaT · 2019-09-19T11:49:23+00:00

You don't see him as a threat...is that why you are mindfucking and opening threads about him? Lmao.

[deleted] · 2019-09-19T14:24:06+00:00

Because you are watching all this without involving, you are a cuck.

Raleigh0311 · 2019-09-20T03:03:49+00:00

I don’t buy into all the nonsense about ignoring this type of shit. If I’m in a LTR, she plays by my rules. She will tell all other dudes to pound sand or I will send her packing. No fucking exceptions. No chatting with “guy friends.” Nothing.

Furthermore, she will share all of her passwords and login information with me and I will check her shit whenever the fuck I want. I will offer her the same. Why? Because I don’t want any secrets or even temptation to have secrets in a LTR.

Fuck privacy. If she wants privacy, she can close the bathroom door when she takes a shit. I will have openness or it will not be an LTR. The only reason to have a private phone or laptop is to hide shit. There’s no password on the fucking microwave or the TV or the dishwasher because there’s nothing to hide. There won’t be a password to keep me out of her electronic devices either.

That’s what I do and that’s the way it’ll always be. Fuck all this “just ignore it” talk. Nah, son. Not me.

Title	LTR being hounded by a beta-orbiter?
Author	superbear
Upvotes	25
Comments	32
Date	September 19, 2019 11:17 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/d6ckh7/ltr_being_hounded_by_a_betaorbiter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-being-hounded-by-a-beta-orbiter.254059 https://theredarchive.com/post/254059

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