My boyfriend just told me about “the one that got away”. Is he still in love with her?

YasuotheChosenOne · 2019-07-22T08:13:35+00:00

The real question is why you’re ignoring such blatant red flags?

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-07-22T09:34:18+00:00

Yes. Next

[deleted] · 2019-07-22T08:44:28+00:00

He's not your boyfriend yet. Too short time frame. Of course he has feelings and his feelings are delusions of beta male who has oneitis. I would suggest breaking up with him unless you want to have a headache due to his constant disrespectful behaviour.

SeasonedRP · 2019-07-22T09:04:19+00:00

This guy isn't boyfriend material. He didn't really have a relationship with this girl. It's more like a fixation, and he sounds like a potential stalker. I don't believe that she really liked him but was focused on trying to work on herself. She tolerated him for a while then got sick of his clingy, somewhat disturbing behavior. Yes, he is still fixated on her, she wants nothing to do with him, and you should run.

exit_sandman · 2019-07-22T08:40:45+00:00

This is not /r/relationships or /r/relationshipadvice

(and yes, he does)

goatismycopilot · 2019-07-22T10:02:02+00:00

Yup, if she changed her mind about wanting to be together, you would be gone. And the fact that you know all this makes it worse. I would break up with him he is not all in you are you a replacement model.

planejane · 2019-07-22T11:28:33+00:00

At best you're a place holder until she pays attention to him again or the finds someone he likes even better. In either case, he won't be sticking with you. GTFO.

SqueaksScreech · 2019-07-22T08:38:40+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this hun but you need to nope out of this relationship. This is a huge red flag. You're his rebound.

lefactorybebe · 2019-07-22T12:33:50+00:00

This is pretty strange, he wasn't even actually her boyfriend. But yeah he seems hung up on her, among other numerous red flags.

randomhaus64 · 2019-07-22T12:47:50+00:00

Let’s say this, if his ex were to come out of the blue and ask for him back, I’d bet every cent of my 401k, company’s pension, and savings in him saying yes and leaving you. You are the consolation prize, I’m very sorry.

rosyandthemachine · 2019-07-22T13:55:16+00:00

yeah i'd dump him.

You're not 'the one'
He's openly telling you about his feelings for another woman.
He doesn't care enough about you to NOT tell you these things.
He's just a boyfriend

Give yourself a week to cry it out, then put on that freakum dress and get back on the horse!

blackedoutfast · 2019-07-22T12:46:53+00:00

he's not really in love with her, but he probably is still in limerence/oneitis/infatuation/crushing on her. he may even secretly believe he is in love with her, but love is different. how old is this guy? he is clearly not very experienced.

Gravel_Roads · 2019-07-22T07:37:10+00:00

It's entirely possible, yeah. This doesn't necessarily mean he loves her "more than you", but it does sound like he hasn't moved on, either. Sometimes people get used to "keeping up with" certain folks to the point that it's really habit-forming, and keeping up with people means you are keeping the emotional stimulation they provide current. This certainly increases the chances of wanting to "reach out" in a moment of weakness. If you talk to him about it and he gets defensive or comes up with excuses as to why he doesn't want to stop, it's an even worse sign.

randomhaus64 · 2019-07-22T21:56:18+00:00

I hate to say it, but this guy sounds like really bad news. I hope you bite the bullet and run, do not walk, to the exit.

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-07-22T11:47:50+00:00

Sounds like it. I think it’s too soon.

wekacuck · 2019-07-22T12:02:03+00:00

Yeah. He has the feelz.

wtknight · 2019-07-22T12:17:23+00:00

If he’s not saying bad things about her then he’s still into her. I always make it very clear to my wife how she is better than any other woman who I was ever interested in.

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2019-07-22T20:35:31+00:00

Dude sounds like a BP simp who’d rather be in the friendzone than with you.

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Willow-girl · 2019-07-22T11:47:38+00:00

Yup! Up to you what you want to do about it.

Myself, I wouldn't invest too much in this relationship. Keep him as a FWB if you like his moves, but don't be exclusive. You want to find a man who is obsessed with you the way he is with this girl (who clearly isn't interested in him).

meomeowmeoww · 2019-07-22T08:21:29+00:00

Men are the worst, get rid of him before he gets rid of you.

Title	My boyfriend just told me about “the one that got away”. Is he still in love with her?
Author	AwayHighlight
Upvotes	1
Comments	38
Date	July 22, 2019 6:30 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/cg9ngt/my_boyfriend_just_told_me_about_the_one_that_got/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/my-boyfriend-just-told-me-about-the-one-that-got.254794 https://theredarchive.com/post/254794

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