Question(s) for Men on the spectrum (autism/asperger) who are into game, PUA, TRP, etc. (Other people are welcome to answer)

jax006 · 2019-07-20T14:35:43+00:00

Learning to meaninglessly banter with women over alcohol got me over my incel status at age 22, so I would say good luck to him, it will probably be extrenely difficult but worth it in the end for whatever marginal improvements/successes he has.

2c165 · 2019-07-20T14:39:05+00:00

The rejections will sort him out quick. If you want to help, get him into an actual social circle.

EpictetusTheFree · 2019-07-20T15:35:27+00:00

I'm almost 29 and only started recently to have success with women and it's because of the red pill. The awesome thing with the red pill is that it's very straight forward, no sugarcoated bullshit, so it actually teaches you bluntly the unwritten social rules and that's incredible helpful for autistic people.

Blonsomio · 2019-07-20T14:49:09+00:00

Is he good looking? That's what really matters.

[deleted] · 2019-07-20T14:42:30+00:00

I'd say he'll probably be fine as long as he treats it like a learning experience and doesnt get too let down. Just getting used to talking with women in a certain context can help you grow in that area.

Xemnas81 · 2019-07-20T14:51:41+00:00

There is a lot of good stuff about Game. I would advise against taking ideas like hypergamy, branch swinging too literally and personally. You have to learn to become distant from the potential outcome. There comes a point where your desire to ensure you are desirable enough for her to not cheat/deadbedroom you is motivated by neediness and fear of losing control.

graaarg · 2019-07-20T20:21:42+00:00

Aspie here.

Yes, reading about TRP and all those stuff can be really helpful, because as an autistic, socially inesperienced guy, you usually behave in a blue-pilled, "nice guy" way. After a while, you stop taking also TRP too seriously, but you got wiser nonetheless.

Good for us, we actually have some desiderable "alpha" traits, like low agreableness and a sort of stocisism.

If they think you as a jerk, they don't see how actually naive and vulnerable you are. I was often called a "chad" by the usual jealous "nice guys"...

It's also useful to learn about more seriuos stuff like group dynamics, body language, evolutionary psicology.

But, at the end, finding a suitable long-term partner it's difficult even if you are attractive or high-value.

I wish to found an aspie partner or someone that can understand me and accept as I am, without the need of masking my autistic traits.

exit_sandman · 2019-07-22T14:45:49+00:00

I might be on the spectrum - when I did an online test, I scored high enough to qualify, but it was only an online test after all.... but I am still not the most outgoing, extroverted or social person and dealing with certain people-related challenges (like seduction) has reliably been an ordeal for me in the past. So yeah, I probably qualify to some extent.

Regarding PUA, well, let me put it like this: After a long time of never having been able to actively seduce a woman by sheer wit and smoothness I stumbled over a PUA community on the internet. And I actually managed to get somewhere with a girl I had met on the same evening for the first time just by applying a few routines, the whole gamut of cocky & funny-stuff they promote big time, and being handsy and flirty. Sure, this was beginner's luck I had a hard time reproducing later, but it was still a huge step when compared to how things were before.

So yeah, for a guy who is truly and utterly clueless and couldn't get behind the dynamics of seduction if his life depended on it, PUA might actually help. If only because it stresses the value of being outgoing, social, flirty, and approaching a lot of women.

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Alperarslan1999 · 2019-07-20T21:10:00+00:00

It helped a bit to develop social skills and talking to girls . You know what to do . Just remind him not to hit on woman in risky situations like my autistic ass

pnadlerlaw · 2019-07-20T22:20:43+00:00

33, male, married, not on the spectrum, although I did have a friend with SOCIAL anxiety. I know it’s not the same thing. I have generalized anxiety myself, but it’s never interfered with my actual work, public speaking or dating. But SOCIAL anxiety is another animal. I mention it because I think it’s similar with respect to the ice braking phase of things.

First of all, idk why this question is here, because PPD isn’t really PUA or RP, but whatever.

Secondly,

It’s really not rocket science. If anything, I would say that people with a LITTLE bit of social intelligence run the risk of having a sophomoric effect on the initial approach. That’s when you know just enough to shoot your self in the foot.

I’ll tell you a story of when I was 18. I told the same story to my friend to help him with his social anxiety. There was this GORGEOUS hostess at a bar/lounge. Undiscovered talent gorgeous. So, my friend called her over to the table to make small talk. I short-circuited the conversation, made it all business, the hostess herself was trying to inject herself back in socially, and at one point I raised my voice and just told her, “That’s all, thank you, please leave.” Did it come off as rude? Yes. Was it consciously pre-meditated or thought about? Absolutely not. It was all nerves. In my mind, I thought she was too hot for me. So, rather than get up and leave my table, I basically just told her to leave. I stopped the interaction.

Opposite example. There was this Indian girl who was into me in college. Again 18-19. I “suspected” she was, but I never really cared, nor was I interested, so I didn’t care if she hovered around our study group and wanted to inject herself constantly. I was polite. Then, one day, when she got me alone, she mustered the balls to tell me how she felt about me and ask me if I wanted to go out with her. Now, right off the bat, in my mind, I was like, “Kudos to this girl, acknowledge how amazing it is for her to take that emotional leap. Reward the effort, even if you’re not personally interested.” And I did, I was super polite and nice about it.

Takes one to know one, and I’ve been in both situations myself. It’s not rocket science. That’s all there is to approaching. Doesn’t matter if you’re a man or woman. If you’re NERVOUS about the person approaching you, it’s INSTINCTIVE that you’re going to ACT DEFENSIVE. If you’re not interested in the person approaching you, then you have the effortless calm of mind to BE POLITE.

If your guy is cold approaching, it really doesn’t matter how he starts off. All that matters is that he UNDERSTAND WHAT BEHAVIOR HE’S OBSERVING.

Is the girl being nice and polite to a complete male stranger? Most likely, she is NOT interested in me. Use the polite atmosphere and exit.
Is the girl ignoring me, using one word replies, telling me to leave verbally or by hand gestures, insulting me, acting bored, not contributing to the conversation? GOOD. This is GOOD. That’s what he needs to understand. That likely means the girl is NERVOUS and looking for ways to bring the guy’s perceived value DOWN until she feels secure and in control again. THIS IS WHERE HE WANTS TO BE!

If he gets to that point on his first night with ANY girl, that is a success. If he literally just STOPS his night there and goes back home to reflect, it would have been a SUCCESS.

But, if he wants to continue, he needs to get back into a non-social biological machine mind. If he’s in the spectrum, FUCK SOCIAL DYNAMICS.

It’s very simple.

If Male > Female during initial approach, then: Female acts defensive = True; continue behavior If Male < Female, then use cold/bitchy behavior to exit as a female, else: If Male > Female for more than 10-15mins, then: Female acts defensive = False.

If he can understand that much, he’s GOLDEN.

Also, don’t treat women the same. Women are not equal to men. I know how it sounds, but he needs to appreciate this “sexist” concept. Men have their own male subculture, etiquette and status determinative cues BETWEEN OTHER MEN. Women have their own BETWEEN OTHER WOMEN. If a man treats a woman the same as a man, her female brain doesn’t magically just transform into a male brain. She interprets this behavior from the lens of the female hierarchy cues, and BETWEEN WOMEN, men showing women COURTESY AND RESPECT is perceived as WEAKNESS AND SUBMISSION.

What does that mean? It means talking without engaging in actual conversation. The first 10-15mins are a power struggle where the woman is ACTING DEFENSIVE, but also, the man can make the mistake of relating to her AS IF she’s a man (which in her brain, will take that as weakness and submission, and she will LOSE ATTRACTION for the man as a man as she begins to see him as a submissive and subordinate woman on the female social hierarchy).

All he has to do is bend like reed against the current, but still be firmly rooted in the group. She just needs a few minutes for that adrenaline response to settle down, to realize she’s safe, to realize he is interested in her, so maybe she’s not as low value as she thinks she is (because women have insecurities too).

Him: “Hey, I’m Jeff.”

Her: (silence, turns her body away from him).

Him: “I don’t know how long it took you to pick out that outfit, but it wasn’t a complete waste of time.”

Her: “Can you seriously get lost? I have a boyfriend.”

Him: “Can’t wait to meet him. In the meantime, would he mind if I borrowed you for just one dance?”

What’s going on here? Man approaches, Female gets adrenaline response and feels threatened and excited because her beta receptors are lighting up. She gets defensive. Why? Because she’s nervous. Anything she says, please don’t take it literally or engage in conversation. Keep talking, but do not engage in conversation.

I’m allergic to bullshit, so I have to control my instinct to cross examine and go into an automatic, “Oh? Is he here? Are you guys Facebook official? Is he cute? Do you have pictures of him?” It’s not a trial. Make statements, not questions. Questions require a response from her. That puts control in her court. Statements don’t really require her participation. Practice having a conversation WITH YOURSELF, almost like you’re at a dead party trying to get people to talk. Lighthearted. Nothing heavy. Nothing confrontational. Even when a WOMAN is being rude to you. Remember, female privilege. She is NOT A MAN. So don’t compete with her in the MALE HIERARCHY as if she is a man. Nothing she does should anger you, because she is NOT A MAN.

If he does this and gets past the social “valley of death,” then it’s generally smooth sailing from there on out.

Best of luck to your boy.

vosidit98 · 2019-07-21T07:31:15+00:00

So, how'd it go? Getting into game as a high functioning guy on the spectrum is pretty hard.

At least in my case, the way I process things is different, my sense of humor is different.

If it helps him get over anxiety and start experimenting more it's a good thing.

Though, honestly, for autistic guys, the best advice is to hit the gym and get in shape, it does wonders for self esteem and makes it easier to get a social circle.

Sir_Koopaman · 2019-07-20T14:50:26+00:00

I remember getting into red pill when I was 16 but not realizing that I couldn't use any of it thanks to strict parents and no car so that was uber cringe. Imho, if your brother isn't living independently, he should not be reading any sexual strategy and should instead try to focus on moving out.

Title	Question(s) for Men on the spectrum (autism/asperger) who are into game, PUA, TRP, etc. (Other people are welcome to answer)
Author	jkj543
Upvotes	7
Comments	55
Date	July 20, 2019 2:31 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/cfmfgz/questions_for_men_on_the_spectrum_autismasperger/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/questions-for-men-on-the-spectrum-autismasperger.254826 https://theredarchive.com/post/254826

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