This post is mostly for me to get some thoughts out, but maybe it will help someone else too.

I've been swallowing the red pill for about 6 months. Recently, I've been pulling HB7s and 8s consistently using what I've learned here. Even the occasional 9, and I'm very grateful to the community for that.

But I've never pulled an HB10. I'm talking about the 1 in 100,000 types - models, actresses, etc. The ridiculously hot ones that have probably have a professionally-shot profile on model mayhem; perfect bodies, faces and hair, and are almost difficult to look at.

I have had a few near misses though - I had one last night. I know the simple answer is that my SMV isn't high enough, and I will continue to work on that. But that isn't what I want to write about today.

The issue at hand is when I miss with one of these girls - and again, I'm talking the extremely unusual, extra beautiful girl - I'm a fucking mess. I'm upset for hours, maybe even the next day. And late last night, unable to sleep, I realized why.

The revelation came indirectly from the post about the prince in the nightclub. That prince used the first hot girl as entertainment, until hotter girls came along, and then he used them as entertainment. Never once did he wonder (or care) what those girls thought of him, or whether their opinion of him reflected back onto him in some way. He used them for his amusement until he was bored and then he moved on.

I've been using the reaction of hot girls as a sort of personal ratings system. If I land a hot girl, my personal rating is high. And the hotter the girl, the higher my personal rating is. If I MISS with a hot girl, my rating drops, and I feel like shit.

This is ridiculous bullshit. I spoke to the girl last night for all of 10 minutes. There was no way she had any valid opinion of me in that time. She thought I was handsome (she said so several times) but for whatever reason the tingles weren't there. This reflects nothing on me, and yet I let it bring me down.

I should be looking at ALL women, including ultra hot ones, as entertainment like the Prince did - not as validation, not as some sort of personal rating system. If I allow them to be my judge and jury, I give up my power to them. Fuck that.

Another step in swallowing the pill.

/EDIT: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!