What are relationships for fundamentally?

mtndewlover · 2014-12-07T00:27:59+00:00

Well, babies, sure. But they're also a great tool to maximize productivity. Let's assume, for a moment, that men are more creative and ambitious in general than women, even if only because women like men with those characteristics, whereas the reverse doesn't apply.

If you find a good woman who cooks, cleans, does laundry, and fucks you right, you can literally spend years more of your lifetime on improving yourself and working on your passions and goals. This increases your status perpetually, benefits society by virtue of whatever you create, and makes the woman happy because she is with a man who is ever more expert and respected at something. The key bit is not to settle and use the time you gain wisely for self-advancement. Do that, and everybody wins, present and future.

Edit: to break it down, let's say that my wife saves me, on average 2 hours of various work a day (cleaning, cooking, laundry, going to get me coffee, etc.) That's 730 hours a year, over ten years 7,300 hours. Over a lifetime and a 40 year marriage that's 30,000 hours of necessary but non-self promoting labor saved. And if I use that time right, I become 30,000 hours better at whatever I love doing than I could possibly have been otherwise. 30,000 hours is 3.5 years of extra productive time gained in a life time. This doesn't even count the utility she has for me when she does things that I can't do. Just like any other job, you can expect that a wife will get ever better at supporting you as she grows in experience. Yes, you by and large support such a woman, but this isn't a problem if you're doing something that you love doing, since you'd be doing it anyway. It's just pure gain. This is certainly something to think about when pondering the virtues of finding a good LTR v. plate spinning or going out looking for ONSs.

asdfghjkltyu · 2014-12-07T00:21:02+00:00

Its for the creation of a family unit. You see it in plenty of animal species, the male provides for the female whilst giving birth and provides for the child after birth. They rarely form life long bonds but for that process they form a relationship.

Its a similar case in humans.

Most young men get into relationships because they're raised by their mothers to think they want them. That they're considered a failure until they get in one, that a 'real man' stays with his woman and only 'jerks' sleep around.

relationshipdownvote · 2014-12-07T00:21:44+00:00

I don't consider poly relationships as real relationships. The defining quality of a sexual relationship is sex. The second quality is exclusivity, or rather, the expectation of exclusivity. If you aren't having sex, you're roommates or friends. If you don't have exclusivity, your FWB or whatever. When you say relationship, it generally denotes those two aspects.

Humans have both monogamous and polygamist impulses, relationships and cheating both arise from those impulses.

tits_out_forTheBoys · 2014-12-07T00:16:58+00:00

Ok, here's my micro (self-fulfillment) view on relationships.

For younger men (age 15-30): "Love is the belief that you can't do any better." Young men who are in relationships have settled. When you settle, you get exactly what you've settled for. These men are either blind of the fact that their SMV can increase infinitely (thereby generating better options) or they are too complacent to fully embark on the self-improvement process. As for those men in relationships who are BluePill, a large majority seem to hold the belief that "all women are just precious snowflakes" and therefore they refuse to leave their SO's due to fear of feeling [misplaced] guilt.

For older men (age 30+): These men are old enough to recognize their own value. Even the BluePill men that are older have some understanding of their SMV on a subconscious level. Since most of these men have that knowledge, their dating decisions are much more calculated and well-reasoned. Many older men do not date simply because he's addicted to his SO's steady supply of pussy. Although this obsession tends to develop in many men when the commitment has gone further down the road (LDRs, living together, marriage, etc.), it is usually not the primary reason why he entered the relationship. It typically goes along the lines of "My value will peak in the next few years, I want to raise a family so that my bloodline lives on after I die, and so in the next few years, I must find a suitable woman to help raise my family and grow old with me."

UrsusG · 2014-12-07T00:18:20+00:00

Fundamentally? For making more people.

You fuck, you get attached, you make babies, you stay around to raise them.

bobbatosakosanose · 2014-12-07T01:06:48+00:00

I think for a man: sex. Ever since taking the pill I don't believe in love or companionship from women outside my siblings and mother. A woman saying she loves me seems like my bank telling me how much they appreciate me. I put more stock in male friendships now. Women won't be there for me if I hit rock bottom.

ETH_Zurich · 2014-12-07T03:15:16+00:00

Illimitable man talks about this I think. He says that men generally just want sex and an successor to further his genetic legacy (i.e. relationship), while a woman would require a relationship for her "stoic consistency".

myrealitie · 2014-12-07T02:24:25+00:00

They aren't "for" any one harmonious function, unless you believe in intelligent design.

Our inclinations and drives do not typically support each other. In other words, some of our drives (such as to have a relationship) work against other drives that we have (such as to have sex with many appealing partners).

This is important to keep in mind, because the fact of the matter is there is no perfect or right way to live a life, to use our drives "for" their "proper" purpose and thereby achieve harmony and ultimate happiness in life.

Relationships in particular have benefits and also have costs with respect to 1) the extent to which they succeed in yielding you viable offspring, 2) with respect to the extent to which they satisfy you personally, and 3) with respect to the extent to which they succeed in making sure your societal group collectively yield viable offspring (who themselves have viable offspring).

Since we live in a world with relaxed societal restrictions AND with social safety nets, that changes the cost benefit equation A LOT. Do we need relationships for societal order? Well, no, not if pool money like we do today and collectively pay for children that are not supported by the stability of relationships. This certainly makes serial monogamists much happier than people who have less of a need for novelty.

Is this a good or a bad thing? Well, that is a complicated question. I think there are a lot of ways to organize a society, and all of them are going to piss some people off, depending on who gets the short end of the stick. And someone always does get the short end of the stick, no matter how you slice things. C'est la vie.

oldredder · 2014-12-07T06:13:19+00:00

My view is a relationship is a waste of my time.

I'm not sure what the average number of women is you need to meet to get another one to bed, depends on your SMV, attitude, etc., but for men this is a giant time-waster while a relationship is a giant block on that time so before you even get a shot, you take yourself out of the running.

Have sex as much or as little as you want but if you're not approaching/meeting those women there's no sex coming.

On the other hand a relationship where there's lots of sex can be great for just sex but then that woman will want more & some men won't (I'm that man).

If a relationship means I get daily sex 3 times a day we're good. If it means not enough sex it's time to keep looking and not really call it a relationship.

Outside of sex women have almost nothing of value to offer me. They can't do things as fast or smart as I can, they can't / won't help me out as I'd need anyhow, they do try to manipulate me into doing things for them I don't want to do or tell me how to run my life & I see no upside in that.

satoripua · 2014-12-07T00:42:34+00:00

A constant source of sex, motherly companionship and external validation. If you don't have a GF, there are times people would start to wonder why. Having a GF eliminates this doubt in people's minds.

YaBoiTibzz · 2014-12-07T09:23:57+00:00

I think monogamous relationships--or rather, the idea of them, irrespective of how practical they are to execute--have plenty more reason to be around than simple survival tactics left over from times past. Simply put people are too emotional and jealous if they learn the person they're sleeping with also sleeps with someone else, and with the absurd imbalance in access-to-sex currently seen in our society, the idea of an "open relationship" is still more or less a joke as the woman will always benefit disproportionately. Therefore, for the foreseeable future, people will still at least try for monogamy.

ColdEiric · 2014-12-07T16:38:01+00:00

For men, women are functions for sex and children.

For women, men are functions for sex, safety, production and pension.

OakTr3E · 2014-12-07T20:25:52+00:00

Societal restrictions on womens sexuality is necessary for societal health. It also benefits most men (betas are in the majority). For women it also benefits their happiness since betas work in conjunction with societal pressure to "dominate" their women. A dominated woman is usually a happier woman. A beta in a free society (our current western one) doesn't have enough dominant behaviour to dominate women and therefore cannot make them happy.

I guess the only ones who benefit from more STR:s, flings, ONS and sexual liberation are the top alpha males. But I am not even sure about that since I think going from a lot of pussy with some potential for finding LTRs -to- a huge amount of pussy with low potential for finding LTRs might not even be an advantage.

edit: Labore_Et_Constantia does make some very good points about mgtow men though. A portion of the male population that should increase in size in a sexually liberated society. That could very well be a huge benefit to society and a counterargument to what I stated.

H42 · 2014-12-07T03:54:13+00:00

Excellent questions! I will be following this thread.

Our society has heaps of relics that underlay the present dynamic. Most are unnoticed or wrongfully ignored as not important.

HS-Thompson · 2014-12-07T02:10:19+00:00

To increase stability in your life.

So if they are making your life more unstable that's a hint you're doing it wrong.

Title	What are relationships for fundamentally?
Author	satoripua
Upvotes	17
Comments	61
Date	December 6, 2014 11:20 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2oi1ls/what_are_relationships_for_fundamentally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/what-are-relationships-for-fundamentally.25934 https://theredarchive.com/post/25934

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